I don't think he will change ever
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|Wed, 11-28-2007 - 9:41pm|
My adh informed me that he plans to maybe "drink a little" tomorrow because he is going to a hockey game and to our area casino to celebrate the success of his business with his partners.
I told him he will end up right back where he always is..making poor decisions when he drinks, and once he starts drinking he ALWAYS drinks more than he plans....maybe not tomorrow but eventually.
He went about six weeks with no alcohol..says it is bad for him to drink and he doesn't plan to do it often anymore. He probably actually believes his plan, but how can he think it will work when it never has before. He is not a daily drinker, but a few years ago he was close to a daily drinker. I guess when you are an a you rationalize your cravings big time.
I am not that upset, since I pretty much expected this. But I really wish I had a choice on my life right now. I really don't. I can't move out of state and there are NO jobs in MI (highest unemployment rate in US) and no real estate is selling. I could get a settlement that would take care of me for a little but not a long term solution to having to live these ups and downs with my adh.
Just to know I had an out if things got bad, would be so nice. I mean, my life is not bad enough for drastic measures. And it has a lot of happy good things in it even when he drinks. But the same ole same ole is just BS. Wondering if he'll have had a few at work before he comes home etc. He does not drink at our house, or in our house, but drinking at work and coming home is pretty much the same thing. I just HATE living with ongoing stupidity I suppose. I know I am supposed to focus on me and not him and that is what I will go back to doing, but I wish for ONCE things would go my way.
My BF has breast cancer, my other BF (Best Friend) found out she has a brain tumor today. She wants me to be guardian of her children. My Dad is having major health problems as well, and having major seizures that indicate a big ole stroke.
I have to support so many people right now, I am sick of being the strong one...but I have no choice. I love them all and that's what you do. I fear I might start having anxiety issues again, since I cannot really express my frustration. Sorry to whine, we all have troubles and I realize that, but I at least wish there was peace in my home so I could cope with it all.