My husband is an alcoholic.
Hi and welcome to the board, I'm glad you found us.
"OMG, I got engaged, the world will never be the same!...."
First of all - welcome.
I am happy to have found these messages out there.
You have already found some good support here...our posters are fantastic. They are right, do not beat yourself up. You and you children (born and unborn) are precious gifts to us and the world. The only thing your AH can see is the bottom of his bottle. Doesn't mean you have to climb in there with him.
We also have a sister board for people who practice the 12 steps...we welcome you at both boards. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-bhivh12step/
Thank you for all your kind responses.
I think if Julie turned her back on you...than Julie wouldn't have been a good friend to have anyway.
Its not your fault your husband abuses alcohol.
And YOU should not be embarassed, although, he is to DRUNK to care about being embarassed.
You made responsible choices about not leaving your kids with him, any woman would respect you for that.
I am so glad you found this board...and actually this is my first reply to the message boards.
I grew up in an alcoholic family. My mom had many, many problems. She was an addict from age 13, had my sister at age 14. She was married 3 times and when I was old enough to remember anything, she was married to my stepfather who was also an alcoholic due to 27 years in the military. As a child I went through many years of yelling, physical fights and separations of my mom and step dad. Unfortunately , I lost my mom to addiction when I was 24 and I finally had my first child at 39. I promised my child during birth that he would never have to live the life I lived as a child!
You & your children are worth SO much more. You sound like a wonderful, loving mother and your children are very lucky to have you. Please, do all you can to get away from this man. If you think he will accept help, then please suggest it to him. It may not be easy, but if he knows that you and your children can not take it anymore, he might accept the help. It may take rehab or AA meetings. Most true alcoholics need rehab because detox can be deadly.
You do need help for yourself, but he needs help first. You need the hope that only he can provide by him getting help. Can you go stay with your parents or friends until he decides something or realizes things have to change?
All I can say is to pray, take care of your children and remember they are so much more important than anyone. Hopefully, he will understand that children are a gift from God and get some help to make a great life for them and his marriage. If he won't accept help, it is time to leave and create a new life for you and your children
I am very glad that so many people have responded and been supportive of this particular situation.