TINY TUESDAY...(m)
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TINY TUESDAY...(m)
| Tue, 02-12-2002 - 9:40am |
TINY TUESDAY...(m)
This week for the Tiny Tuesday let's try an exercise with voice and since Valentine's Day is just two days away, let's throw in the 'romance genre' just for fun. So try this: Insert this sentence into your piece anywhere you like.
"I watched as her lips parted and a soft sigh escaped as she anticipated my kiss."
Have fun, Sammi

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Bravo (m)
This is an excellent example of voice. I liked how he watched her and finally makes his move at the end. Great ending, Heather.
Thanks for sharing this one with us,
Mac
Standing ovation for you Mac. WTG I like the smelly breath part :) *nt*
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
Fantastic! (m)
I especially liked how the narrator toyed with the various romance scenes, deleted them and worked on it until one clicked. Very realistic ritual us writers go through! And adding in those things like the digital camera-watch (love the creativity of this), the “rumpy bumpy” as well as Grandma’s smut books in the outhouse made your story so much fun.
Great job, eyewrite!
Mac
Wow that is so true for me!!!!.....
You did a great job. I love the horse you used. One day I will one one of those big draft horses just for fun they are a wonderful site! I have often had times that I try to write and nothing gets me going. You did a splendid job.
Jade
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
I gave her what she wanted....My TTE
I knew I was in trouble when the high-pressured hose slipped from my grasp. The water sprayed and droplets bounced off the bumper of my midnight blue, Ford pickup and ended up soaking the female nearby.
I had regained control of the hose just before the pump stopped and the pressure decreased the flow to a trickle. I gazed at her soaked blouse which revealed her large breasts, to her flattened blond hair, pouty lips, trim waist, jeans and sandals.
I felt her anger before she said, “Well, thanks a lot!”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to spray you. The hose got away from me.”
She raised her head, shook it and said, “Excuses, excuses!”
I knew I needed to convince her so I pulled off my green, Nike shirt. “Here take my shirt and dry yourself off.”
She gazed at my muscular chest then smiled. “My, my, nice pectorals. You certainly have grown up,” then she took my shirt and dried off her face.
I glanced at her chest, smiled and said, “It’s your turn to take off your shirt.”
“In your dreams, Colton.”
I laugh. “It’s good to see you again Marissa. And to show how sorry I am, I will wash your Miada.”
Marissa ran her hand through her hair. “Okay, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
So we both went to our vehicles. I drove mine out while she drove hers into the stall. She put the quarters in and the pump started up. I proceeded to soap the shiny, red sports car then rinse it off. I noticed the tires were worn and thought she must be one of those women who love to drive fast then stomp on the brakes.
The machine stopped so Marissa drove it out and parked it next to my truck. She handed me a clean rag and said, “I’ll help you dry off the truck.”
The sun had dried her shirt but as she leaned over the hood her firm, curvy backside aroused me.
Marissa caught me staring. “Do you like the view?” before she threw the rag at me.
I caught it and said, “Yes, show me more!” then I walked over to her and pressed her body against the truck.
I watched as her lips parted and a soft sigh escaped as she anticipated the kiss. I gave her what she wanted pressing my lips onto hers. I deepened the kiss and played tag with her tongue. I placed my hands under her blouse and caressed her breasts. Her softness and small moans drove me to a frenzy of need. We stopped to catch our breath.
I said, “May I follow you to your house?”
I could feel the heat (m)
Great hook and start to a steamy romance. I loved the twist of her being the boss and was cheering for him to go for it!
Please, Please continue this!!
Maria
Great job...I couldn't tear my eyes away!! n/t
Well done..I loved the sensory details n/t
Cool Mac (m)
I found your story to be entertaining, loved the humor and how he had studied every nook and cranny of her 5'6 frame. Men! lol
Great job
Maria
Talk about VOICE...
the heck with the "work" line...your voice was clear as a bell. Loved this eyewrite...no other comments except...Atta baby!
kat
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