TINY TUESDAY...(m)
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TINY TUESDAY...(m)
| Mon, 02-18-2002 - 9:50pm |
TINY TUESDAY...(m)
I would like to try something just for fun and to go along with something we discussed last week in chat about dialog and its uses in the 'show versus telling' of a story. So, here's this weeks Tiny Tuesday: Write a short piece using strictly dialog to show all aspects of the story, especially action. Have fun with this, Sammi
P.S. I will be gone for the next two or three days, so I will post mine and respond to others then. Sorry about this inconvenience.

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TT time
“This really sucks.”
“OK, I already said I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not that. I’m not blaming you. It’s just that – ”
“I swear I didn’t notice anything. I mean, you were there too.”
“I know. We’re both just tired, that’s all.”
“I mean, I’d only just put the bag down. Those guys just came in and left again. I didn’t think – ”
“Well, we can’t do anything about that now. The bag’s gone. All our cash. ID. Hell, we won’t even be able to leave the country now without our passports.”
“It had to have been those two guys. They just came in, sat down, got back up and left again. You know, just before the train left. It *had* to have been them.”
“Yeah, I know. I saw them when they left. Didn’t think anything of it, though.”
“...we won’t be able to leave the country?”
“No, that’s what I think the conductor said.”
“So what’s going to happen?”
“...I think he said we’d have to get off at the next station and take the next train back to Vienna. I think that’s what he said...his English is about as bad as my German.”
“But we don’t have any money! How are we going to pay for another couple of tickets?! It’s the middle of the night!”
“The conductor said he’d get us on the train going back to Vienna.”
“And then what?”
“How the hell should I know?! It’s not like this has ever happened to me before....sorry, I didn’t mean to snap like that. I’m just tired.”
“God, I’m so stupid.”
“No...well, at least nothing worse happened to us, you know?”
“Yeah...yeah.”
“Look, the conductor said there’s a police substation in the train station...said we should file a report.”
“Like that’ll do a lot of good. God, I’m so stupid.”
“Well, we’ll just take it from there when we get back to the station.”
“...you think we should call Mom? Tell her what happened?”
“It’ll just worry her. She’ll be up all night worrying about it, and you know she has to work tomorrow.”
“Oh...wait, tomorrow’ll be Saturday. She doesn’t work Saturdays.”
“...yeah, you’re right. I forgot. Yeah, we’ll call her, but not until we get things straight.”
“...she told us it wasn’t a good idea for us to travel around like this by ourselves....”
“I know. We’ll call when it’s morning for her, OK? It’ll give us some time to calm down, anyway.”
“...know when will we be getting back into Vienna?”
“The conductor said probably a little after midnight.”
“Midnight? The station will still be open?”
“With our luck we’ll be on the last train in.”
“...no money in the middle of the night. Great.”
“...you know, we still have that extra credit card....”
“That’s right, hidden at the bottom of your backpack!”
“Mmm-hmm, wrapped up in socks.... Well, the conductor said it’d be about another hour to the next station...and then two hours back to Vienna.”
“...gonna be a long night.”
“Mmm-hmm.”
Poor kids!!! you did a wonderful job. Keep it up :) *nt*
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
Funny! Your story was "full of" (m)
very realistic dialogue. I laughed throughtout it and loved the ending. I agree with Jade, that's what she gets for eavesdropping-LOL.
Mac
Very Well Done! (m)
Your dialogue was so clear and read so smoothly you made this exercise appear easier than it really was. You did a great job!
Patty
My Favorite Line:
"That’s the way them newspapers made me look." See, I have a sense of humor ;-)
You got the western Mississippi dialect down pat. I know some might think it was exaggerated, but I KNOW people who speak that way (Southeastern Arkansan here).
And you did a great job plotting with only dialogue.
VERY WELL DONE!
Patty
Oh, you wound me (m)
Not going to the farm, wherelse can one get so much fresh air and depending on where you go, a variety of odors? LOL
We have a small farm in Kansas,1200 acres. Hubby and 16yr son milk sixty head of Holsteins, twice a day. We have over a hundred head of dairy cattle. Then we have 30 head of beef cattle, 1 horse, 2 goats, 2 dogs, 4 cats and numerous ducks all with the name Sherman.
We grow wheat, corn, soybeans, milo, alfalfa, prairie hay, silage and sudan.
Once I get started I never shut up and tell me more about this part you played on t.v. (just kidding) I love your sense of humor.
Maria
Thanks Jade n/t
I Think I Got It...
Jake is Jim. Am I right?
I like you idea for this. Makes your reader pay attention.
Patty
right on!!! (m)
your right!! in the big long story that I have Jim pretends to be a guy named Jake. Jess had her heart broken by Jim years ago. So when Jim finds out that Jess is having trouble he come to her aide in the form a Jake.
It one of thouse you have to read to get the just of it!!
Thanks for reading my TT.
Jade
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
Hi Jade (m)
I did get who was saying what but I was wondering why Jess was calling Jim Jake. How is it that she didn’t know Jake was really Jim? Were they having a phone/internet relationship?
Interesting setup. I’m curious to read more about these two characters!
Mac
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