Sunday's Surprise: Open the Envelope (m)
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Sunday's Surprise: Open the Envelope (m)
| Sun, 02-24-2002 - 12:22pm |
Sunday's Surprise: Open the Envelope (m)
What was the last song you heard on the radio? Use a lyric from that song as the beginning sentence of your short story. Any subject, any word limit.
Happy writing,
Mac

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You're welcome...
hope I didn't open too many cans of worms.
Yes, blackmail was more of a thing Frank could do to Sloane.
Social class could matter more if she wasn't a college kid, pre-law, instead if she was working some minimum wage job, or something like that.
Happy writing, Eyewrite
Good mystery!
I liked your dialogue a lot. I always have a hard time writing dialogue, so I notice when someone else does it well. Good job!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you (m)
for finding the song title (I looked this morning on Amazon for the song title, but I didn't remember artist or enough of the song to find it). And I'm glad you liked it. I'll try to expand this one and share it with you later.
Hugs,
Mac
Thanks, Eyewrite (m)
I’m glad you liked the beginning (this wasn’t really a story, huh? LOL). It was going on in my head but I didn’t put it on paper. I like your questions though and you’re right. In the fit of passion one wouldn’t stop and fold their clothes unless they’re a “neat freak.” So the “perb” as you call him definitely needs to learn more.
Thanks for your feedback. As always, it was helpful.
Mac
Thanks a bunch, shmoopy (m)
I'm so happy you think so. Dialogue is one of my favorite parts of the short story. Glad you enjoyed it!
Mac
Hi, Patty (m)
I like the things you’ve added. The paragraph that begins “she saw clearly…” showed us Sloane’s feeling of hopelessness. And the paragraph about him being angry when she said she was pregnant showed us that she really had no choice. He wouldn’t allow her to keep the baby.
I can see why you can’t get it out of your head. It’s a great story!
Mac
I loved it too! (m)
and it's not boring at all. Joe sounds delicious as he is and I wouldn't add the drunk part. I agree with you that it would ruin his "nice guy" image.
I felt Sara's embarrassment. That was such a cute part of the story!
Great job,
Mac
Thanks! (nt)
Thank you!
Thanks for your comments, Mac!
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