Sunday's Surprise: Open the Envelope (m)
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Sunday's Surprise: Open the Envelope (m)
| Sun, 03-03-2002 - 12:20pm |
Sunday's Surprise: Open the Envelope (m)
Write a short story (500 words or less) where a message received affects the main character. Open your mind and be creative because messages can be sent in many forms.
Happy writing,
Mac

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Here's mine
Kristina stops washing the dishes, wipes her hands on the dishtowel and walks to the family room. She sits down on the plaid couch. The same feeling she has felt for the third time in three days overcomes her. A feeling that is difficult to explain but it alerts her to a brainwave, which concerns her sister, Tana.
Kristina stands up and walks over to the CD player and turns on some music. The harsh words exchanged replays in her mind.
“Tana, I still can’t believe it, Dad is gone.”
“I know how you feel but we will get through it.”
“Well, I’m still ticked off because that bitch was with him in the car and the kid had to be speeding when he hit the car.”
Tana blurts, “She made him happy.”
“Yes, and she also spent his money, gambling and she drinks heavily. We probably will be sued by the whore for more of his estate because he was driving the vehicle.”
Tana shouts, “I don’t want to talk about this now. I’m tired. In fact I don’t want you to call me again!��
Kristina hears the click and then the line goes silent. She calls her back after two days and still Tana won’t answer her call. Tana has shut the door to communication. Kristina gets angry and vows that if the bitch wants to act like that, then so be it!
The doorbell rings which brings Kristina out of her trance. She goes to the door and opens it.
“Hi Brett, come on in, I’ll tell Melvin your here.”
After she calls Melvin, she shakes off the knowledge that Tana and she are going to be meeting soon. The feeling is a message of warning or preparation for the encounter.
A week later Memorial Day arrives, so her daughter and Kristina drive to the cemetery to visit her father’s resting-place. She parks the car and they walk, carrying artificial flowers to his grave. Kristina feels deep sadness as she passes the headstones. She looks up and sees Tana standing in front of the grave.
Tana gazes briefly at Kristina then she walks away. Kristina approaches and stops at her dad’s headstone where she places the flowers and thinks how sad that two sisters won’t communicate. It has been five years since his death.
Good job, but what a sad tale (m)
It saddens me to think that two siblings would be so stubborn and let their relationship die at a parent’s death, a time when they need each other. Your story was very thought provoking and I like how Kristina got that warning message before she sees Tana at the cemetery.
Mac
My SS: A Farmer's Words (m)
The screened-door snaps shut as my father enters the kitchen. “Mornin’ Daddy. You want some coffee?”
“Nah, I’ve had my quota for the day.”
I walk to the table and light a cigarette as I sit down. “You look like you got something on your mind.”
He cuts his eyes towards me. “You know I ain’t never been one to stick my nose in other people’s business, but is Hank all right?”
I blow the smoke towards the ceiling, and say, “I reckon’ he is. Why?”
“Well, like I said I ain’t never bothered y’all. I figure peoples affairs is their own business.” He reaches in his pocket for a can of chew. “So y’alls marriage doing -- ”
“It’s fine.” I look away just in case my lying eyes tell another story. “Why are you asking, Daddy?”
After packing his jaw, he says, “I been watching him cut the field all morning. He’s all over the place. Ain’t no pattern to it. Farmers got a system, you know. It’s either up and down or circular pattern.”
I chuckle. “Maybe the man’s bored. You remember what it’s like to cut that field. Maybe he doesn’t want to go around in a circle for 12 hours.”
“Patterns save time. That’s why people do it.” He pauses, and then says, “Unless, that’s the reason. Maybe he wants to be out there instead of in here arguing with you.”
Rolling my eyes, I push myself back from the table. “We’re not having trouble in our marriage. Besides, you’re the only person I ever argue with.”
“That’s cause we’re just alike,” he says, patting my hand.
“Oh Lord, don’t go getting mushy on me,” I say as he leaves.
Hours later, I hear Hank’s tractor coming down the driveway so I rush to see if his dinner’s ready. Usually he’ll wash up and come to the table before even speaking to me. But today, he comes in the door and tells me take off my apron. Without turning around, I smile, thinking how many years had it been since we’d made love in the afternoon?
Removing my pastel-printed clothing, I follow him out the door and towards the barn. My thoughts cause my face to turn red. When I hear the engine of his crop-duster, I turn into my old self, frustrated that I’d gotten my hopes up of him being romantic. “I ain’t got time for this silliness. I’ve got lots work to do.”
“Well, I want to show you something.”
“What? Is Clement Hawkins timbering his property again?” I ask, climbing into the passenger’s seat.
“You’ll see,” Hank says as he pulls the plane from the barn.
And within minutes I see what he’s talking about. As we make our way across the sky, I look down and his mission becomes clear to me. I reach for his hand as tears roll down my cheeks. Smiling, I take another look at the “I love you” he’d bush-hogged in the dried-up cornfield below.
Ah....Mac, (m)
I love this story!!! You romantic, you and you have been holding out on me, you do knowing about farming LOL
What can I say except, it was soooo entertaining and I sure thought she was going to get lucky LOL And don't get me started on the ending, except to say it was FABULOUS!!!
Five star writing....Maria
My SS...Only Heaven knows....................
It had been one of those irritating days at the office. I had been booked solid with clients that did not know how to be on time. By the time the day ended I was an hour later then I had hoped. I locked up the office and went to my truck. On the way home I decided that from now on the clients would be on time or else, because I wasn't being paid for the extra hours that I put in. I pulled into the garage; I was surprised that Ben was not there. I get out and grab my purse and briefcase, knowing that it was going to be a long night. I struggled with the truck door as it latched onto the cord of my purse.
“Damn it,” I muttered as I yanked it out.
There on the door was a message taped, I took it of and read it. I had to laugh if he had only known how my day went. Once inside I kick off my shoes and head to the fridge to get a glass of wine. I took a sip as I headed upstairs to change from my work clothes.
I go into the bathroom and set my wine on the counter as I undress. Slipping into the shower I try to wash the stress of the day away. The warm water ran over me as I started to relax. I stepped out and drank some more of my wine as I pulled on a pair of sweats and a baggy tee shirt. I head back down stairs to find something for supper. I hear the beep of the answering machine as I walk into the kitchen. I hit the play button and listen.
The first caller wanted us to buy siding for the house; the second caller decided that we were too good to talk to. However the third caller was my husband Ben.
“Hi Hun, I miss you! I love you too!”
“I love you to.” I whispered to empty kitchen.
I heard a loud thump upstairs. I go up the stairs to check it out.
“Tiger what did you knock over this time,” as the cat met me at the top of the stairs. I walk into the bedroom and a startled scream escapes my mouth.
There on the bed, clad only in his boxers was my husband holding roses and a teddy bear. He hands me a card. I open and read it. “To my Wonderful Wife, Heaven is the only one that knows how much I truly love you. Love your lover for life, Sam.”
I hug him and give him a long tender kiss. “Thank you Sam, I love you so much.”
He pulled me into his lap, as he held me close, “I think supper can wait,”
“Where is…”
“Shh,” he said as he nibbled on my neck, “across the street.”
“Mmm, supper can wait,” as I wrapped my arms around him.
The End
**********************
Hope you liked it. I added the "the End" just to make it 500 words. heheh
Jade
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
Wow!....
Hey Mac,
I am glad that I found the board again. It was not saying that we archived but I am here now.
Your story was so sweet. Your story reminded me of a little side story about my dad. He had did the similar thing with the swather on the hillside for their anniverary. I remember the reation that the my mom had. It was very touching.
Well you wrote another great story. Keep it up and thanks for bringing up the memories.
Jade
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
tissue please.......
Oh that was touchingly sad. You wrote it beautifully. You did a wonderful job on it. It is sad to know that they had not talked for 5 years. I know that I have fights with my sister but I don't think I could go for 5 years with out trying to talk to her. So sad.
Jade
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
Now thats some message (m)
You know that they say that having sex is a great way of relieving stress, so good for her,sounds like she deserves a break.
My curiousity has me asking: What was in the note hanging on the door and would you care to finish the sentence, Where is?
I was a tad bit lost there LOL
Love the line, only heaven knows
Good job....Maria
Nicely written...
I hope Kristina can help Tanna come around about Dad's death. Tanna is likely mad at the universe for being cruel and taking her dad before she felt she and he were ready.
I feel so sad that some people can invest so much energy in maintaining a grudge.
I know a lady, age 70, dying of bone cancer, and she's still bitter about how her parents treated her when she was a kid. Some 60 years later and she can't let it go.
Take care Maria,
Eyewrite
Now that's creative! Super!...
My favorite part was: "I been watching him cut the field all morning. He’s all over the place. Ain’t no pattern to it. Farmers got a system, you know. It’s either up and down or circular pattern."
Lol, farmers sure do. I think they get to meditate some when they're riding the tractors up and down.
Ah, true lovers!
Take care, Mac,
Eyewrite
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