High Functioning Autism

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
High Functioning Autism
11
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 10:52pm
My 4 1/2 yr old daughter was recently diagnosed with HFA. It would nice to have someone to talkto who understands what we are going thru, and to not hear that she's fine and she'll grow out of it. I feel so isolated becuz she is socially defunct, so I have become, also. Anyone out there with a HFA child?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 11:38pm

Hi There,

many consider HFA, ASpergers and many PDD-NOS to be the same. Actually if you have met one person with autism, you have met one person with autism. My 2 oldest kids are officially diagnosed AS by thier doctor, but autistic through regional center, they meet the criteria for all of those. It really all overlaps. My oldest was diagnosed PDD-NOS at age 4 but diagnostics where different then (7 years ago). In the current climate she would likely be HFA so I have been in your shoes. Still am in a way. My son wasn't dx'ed until 7 and didn't have Cait's language delays but he is my more autistic child.

Nice to meet you.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 7:41am

Hi. Welcome to the board. I have a 10yr old son dx 2 yrs ago with Autism spectrum disorder more indicative of Aspergers. That's a mouthful isn't it. I usually just say he has AS. He wasn't given a AS dx because he had a language delay when he was little. You sure wouldn't know it now.

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Wed, 05-04-2005 - 12:40pm

Hi! Welcome to the board! My son, Nathan was dx'd HFA last April when he was 5. He's 6 now and doing well in kindergarten. Even though it's been a year now, we're all still trying to get used to it all! I also have an 8yr old son, as well, so he's learning too. My dh took the dx a bit hard, so he's just starting to take a more active role with Nathan.

I know what you mean about feeling isolated. It is hard to be around other "typical" children. And even more difficult trying to relate to other moms. I have a typical child and I have a special needs child.....so it's been difficult trying to make sure both of their needs are met.

Glad you could join us! Hope to hear more about you and your daughter!

Michelle

Avatar for sheila3xblessed
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 9:03pm

I'm on the same ride you are. My 5 yr old boy has HFA/PDD. He was diagnosed at age 4. He has a host of other problems too, such as severe ADHD, sensory integration disorder, learning difficulties, etc.

I also have two other boys. We've often thought through the years that our oldest boy (he just turned 8) has some autism and ADHD in him too, but he's easy to live with compared to our 5 yr old! The 8 yr old is quite intelligent, so he's able to get straight A's in school, so I haven't sought out professional help for him regarding autism or ADHD. (He was also very delayed in speech, but now he never stops talking.)

My youngest boy, who is nearly 3, seems amazingly normal. I finally know what it's like to have a normal child. So easy.

My 5 yr old and your 4 yr old probably have a lot in common. You aren't alone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2004
Mon, 05-09-2005 - 1:14pm

Hi. My son is diagnosed with PDD-NOS and hyperlexia. Our social life has been severely affected, much like yours. You are certainly welcome on this board. These kids don't grow out of "it", but they can get better in certain areas with a lot of training. I do a therapy program at home with my son that has helped a lot (combination of floortime and Relationship Development Intervention), and we see many therapists. I hope that one day, my son will make a friend. It is indeed hard to watch these kids struggle with some of the simplest stuff, especially when many of them are also very bright academically or have other talents.

Suzi

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 9:00pm
Thanks for your response. I was feeling all alone in the Autism world, but I have met a few other moms just this week. Any and all advice you are willing to share, I would love to read. I feel the more real life info I have, the better. How many kids do you have and how many are affected? So far, our 20mth old son seems to be "normal", but we are keeping close tabs on him. I don't think I could handle 2!!
Thanks again,
Julie
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Wed, 05-11-2005 - 9:09pm

Sheila,
Since you have 2 with different issues, does either one have a difficult time in the "big bad world"? Our daughter gets so overwhelmed any where, that we just don't go anywhere anymore (not fair to our 20 mth old). I would love to hear that some OT or something has reversed this in a child. Maybe just to give me some hope that we won't be prisoners forever. I would love any advice you have to offer!!

Thanks,
Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-12-2005 - 12:25am

Julie,

I have 4 kids, 3 on the spectrum, all 4 with sensory issues. Really more than 1 is not that bad. It grows on ya. My 1 NT the other day asked me why she doesn't get to have something special like Asperger's.

My oldest 2 are HFA/AS depending on which diagnostic report you read, lol. Cait is 11 and mainstreamed in 5th grade. She made so many huge gains and is not the girl I expected her to be when she was 4. She is quite the young lady. Yes she is definitely AS, but she is a true gem and a great pal. She is going to a specialized Asperger's class next year in middle school and will be the only girl in it, lol. Getting loads of dates I imagine! She started on an IEP at 3 and was delayed. She has some academic troubles but over all is really brite.

Mike is 9 and in a special day class 3rd grade. He is also extremely smart but couldn't handle all the change and stress of a regular class. He pretty much self teachers. He can be a real challenge and a real joy. He melts my heart on moment and makes me sooooo angry the next, to melt my heart again an instant later. He is mike. He is frustrating, but he doesn't have a mean bone in his body. Well he will say hurtful things but doesn't realize he is really hurting others. When he does he is truly crushed.

Emily is 7 adn wonderfully NT. Thought she may be a bit LD. Found out she has some vision processing issues we are getting on top of and she is a treat.

Dave is 5 and a challenge and a dear. he is ADHD and PDD-NOS though I even question the PDD. He has some traits but not others. Guess that is why the pdd label. He is a trip though. But gives out more hugs and kisses than any 5 yo brute I know.

I also have an autistic nephew (classic kanner's type but high functioning) so it is all in the family. DH is an autism specialist. I worked with autistics before the kids were born. Many of our friends have autistics in their families or kids. It is a family affair here.

I have known autistics for years. Some of the neatest people in the world. not saying that it isn't horribly frustrating as a mom. That I don't get depressed, burnout, and angry. But at the end of the day, I have some really neat kids. Only thing is they communicate on a different wave length and sometimes I get really frustrated with the fact that the rest of us in the world speak a different language. I hurt when they hurt and relish every small triumph.

My oldest posts on another board with Aspies that I am on. Has lots of adults with AS too. She hadn't posted in a while then tonight out of the blue I saw one by her saying happy birthday to the horse she rides at theraputic horsebackriding. That is my sweet Cait. The thing that was so sweet and so Cait is she thought of the horse first, but forgot the other girl who rides and that it was her b-day too. But she will never forget an animal.

Sorry this is awfully long. I can really get going about the kids. I can tell story after story. Great ones, funny ones, sad ones. It is life intensified with autistic kids isn't it?

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 12:45pm

Renee,
Thanks for your reply! Sounds like you are very "equipped" to handle your kids. I feel like I am so uninformed and don't have much time to research. I am fairly computer illiterate, but learning how to search. Please tell me, what the "lingo" is as far as DH, DD etc. Can't figure it out.

Arianna, 4 1/2yo, is doing so well in school. I am amazed at the change and she's only been going for 3 weeks. She is in Preschool gen ed with resources 5, 1/2 days a week. The first day the school psych. had to pull her off me (she had the monkey hold), but did great anyway. I just don't feel that right now I can be a good advocate for her. Life in gen with her is OK as long as we don't leave the house!! That includes no shopping, restaurants, parties, etc. She also will not use public restrooms, just to make life that much easier. She has difficulty going into a new house/building and will have a meltdown upon entering (must be carried in of course). She also has poor play skills, which saddens me (as does the whole package).

Zachary 20 mths old, seems fine for now, except a speech delay. Looking into speech therapy for him. I truly feel that he is OK. I knew from just a couple weeks into Ari's life that something was not quite right with her. They say God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but some days I question His eval of ME!!

Thanks again for helping me feel like I am not a lost soldier!!

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-09-2003
Sun, 05-15-2005 - 11:21pm
I agree 100%. My 5 year old, wants to go nowhere. All he wants is "Home". i can't go anywhere with him. He goes to his therapist on a weekly basis, and the whole hour, he complains he wants to go home. My daughter is always complaining because when we bring him with us, he hollers. I can't get anywhere, i want so bad to find some kind of group in my area to learn how to deal with all the issues i have. He's got a few things, adhd, pdd,seziures. if it's not one thing with him, it's another.I love him to death, but i call him my "Problem child." he keeps me going.

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