New and could use some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
New and could use some advice
3
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 10:10am

Hi, I'm new to this board, and was thrilled to stumble upon it to hopefully get some help. My ds is 8 years old, and was diagnosed with AS (he's mild on the spectrum, but on it nonetheless) when he 5. He's been receiving services at school since his diagnosis. He understands the reasons that he's receiving each service as far as specifics go (Ex. OT helps him with motor skills for coordination)

Now he's got to the age where he's been getting comments from other kids about his "weird" behaviors, etc...it's breaking my heart :( He's had kids say things to him here and there, but I think now even he is seeing that his behavior isn't that of the other kids. I am thinking that now is the time to explain his diagnosis to him, but I don't know how to approach the subject with him. I don't want to come across negatively, and am concerned how it will effect his self-esteem if I don't explain things to him properly. I certainly don't want him to think anything is "wrong" with him.

He's a smart kid, and I think the more knowledge he has, the better he will thrive. Does anyone have any suggestions of books I could read on this particular subject, or any advice would be greatly appreciated.....Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 10:35am

I have told both of my children and thier siblings know as well. I think it is important for them to know and be ok with it. We teach that it is just a difference. That all people are different and have strengths and challenges and that is ok. This applies to ALL "disabilities" making sure to always emphasize the positive. That all people are on the world for a purpose and everyones life has meaning and importance. We know lots of people with more significant disabilities so that is easy for us. For instance, Margaret, a woman in a wheelchair with CP and other disabilities is at our church and a friend. She is also an artist, she drives herself and has a wonderful faith.

Mike said to me the other day, "Asperger's is what makes me so SMART!" They know there are challenges to but I don't think he completely relates that to AS, lol. Because he doesn't realize how his behavior affects others so it is always others just being mean to him and someone elses fault. I also don't think he really notices that not liking crowds, eye contact, etc, is different totally.

One thing we used to help explain is books. There is this great book you should read with your son called "Asperger's Syndrome the Universe and Everything" by Kenneth Hall. He wrote it when he was 10. He is a very smart young man with AS and has a very positive outlook. He also explains it in a very kid friendly way. I would say that everything Mike understands about AS is from that book. He totally related to Kenneth and said "I DO THAT!" but I am not sure he understands that is different from what typical kids do.

For my dd we bought "Buster and the Amazing Daisy" which is a fictional story about a girl with AS that was alot like her and what she was going through at the time. She was really able to relate to that.

Cait is 11 and becoming a great self advocate. She talks openly about her AS and doesn't see it as a bad thing, just a different thing. She is always interested in learning how to do things better, but appreciates herself too. She is very excited to be going to an AS classroom next year and having a classroom full of kids just like her. (well mostly, she is the only girl).

Welcome, by the way.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2004
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 2:19pm

Hi Renee,

Thank you so much for the book information. I had heard there were some books out there that were more or less for the kids, but I wanted some recommendations before I aimlessly wander the bookstore....although, I can have fun doing that too...lol

Thank you for the welcome, I've been reading others posts, and hope I can contribute in discussions :)

Thanks again...

and to all.....Happy Mother's Day!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-06-2005 - 2:53pm

If you want other recomendations, My kids really like the asperger adventure books. "Of Mice and ALiens" and "Blue Bottle Mystery". There are some other new ones out I have to get that they have been asking for. They are not bad for kids books actually. About the reading level of a Magic Tree House book. I have read them and enjoy the stories too. The hero gets to be an aspie too!

Renee

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