Grandma with question
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| Tue, 05-17-2005 - 11:30am |
Hello, everyone,
I do lurk this site often and have found many useful resources, so first, thank you. I originally posted this on the autism board, but it appears that this board is more active presently. My question:
My DGS is almost 3 (July) and was diagnosed as mild to moderately autistic this past January.
My DD is a single mom, and fortunately, has found a daycare giver who is experienced with autistic children and adults. She has DGS each weekday and he is the only one at her daycare during the school hours, and even at that, only has 1-2 other children before or after school. He has speech and occupational therapists visiting him at daycare several times/week.
My question for my DD: She gets so worn out and weary from his hitting her. He hits her for no particular reason when she's cooking, on the phone, playing with him, whenever. Or if they are just relaxing together, he may just suddenly grab a handful of her skin and pinch her very hard. This is really wearing on her at the end of a long day at work.
Do you have any suggestions? She's tried one suggestion from the therapists that she simply hold his hands firmly, but she hasn't seen any results from that other than him becoming angry about it.
BTW, I live across the country from her and am moving back there to be closer and more help in July.
Thank you.
Red


Well, it is hard to say via computer what the appropriate behavior plan for the boy would be. Alot depends on his level of language and understanding and the function of the behaviors.
I am wondering why a 3 yo child with autism (however mild or moderate) is not recieving more services than speech and OT. For young children with autism the general recomendations are at least 20-25 hours per week of therapy. There are many different options but really something like ABA, floortime, TEACCH should be happening as well. It can be in home or in a school setting. Most kids with autism at 3 are in specialized preschool programs. With these kinds of services your dd should be able to access the kind of behavioral support she needs.
You mention that she is "Across country" and I notice in your profile that you are on the east coast. Any chance she is in California? If so then she needs to seek regional center services. They have as one of thier services in home behavior therapist/ support that would be good for her to access.
In general, she needs someone who can help her take some data and determine the function of his behavior (is he trying to communicate needs, escape something unpleasant, gain attention) then help her come up with a positive behavior plan to help him come up with better means of getting what he needs than hurting her.
Behavior is often communication. He is trying to communicate something he doesn't know how to communicate in a more effective way. There could be many functions of his behavior and often it is out of frustration of not being able to communicate effectively. Simply holding his hands down isn't helping him obviously. It may stop the behavior at the time but he needs to be taught a more appropriate way to communicate his needs.
Good luck, and thanks for being a wonderful grandma!
Renee
Hi Red,
I would definately have your DD look into getting additional services, like ABA, TEACH, or floortime. A child with mild-moderate autism should qualify, and these programs can teach an autistic child to stop hitting and doing other aggressive things. I wonder if the child is trying to communicate through these aggressive acts anyway, which in and of itself could be a positive sign. If this is the case, a therapist could build on this tendency and teach the child a more productive way to interact/communicate.
Does your DD also get treatment for her stress? Counselling and possibly medication (antidepressants) could really help her cope. You moving nearby will also likely help her a great deal. It is very hard to gather a support force when your child is autistic, so family is very important. Perhaps one of the hardest things mothers of young autistic children have to learn is how to take care of ourselves. Getting hit and pinched by your child constantly is only a small stressor, considering the constant worry and sadness we feel because our children may never really grow up and be like other people.
Good luck to you and your DD. It is great that you are such a strong support for her.
Suzi
Because each child with an autism spectrum disorder has such a wide range of strengths and weaknesses, it's very difficult to know how to help your DD and DGS.