MAD MAD MAD

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Registered: 03-26-2003
MAD MAD MAD
8
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 2:51pm

When it rains it pours and I am perfectly p*ssed.

I just got an email from Mike's music therapist. They are all excited about the possibility of getting regional center funding for some project for some kids (I am sure mine are not included) BUT they won't be offering music therapy in our local office anymore as of next week. But IF I want to drive him 1 hour each way for a 1/2 hour lesson I can do that. (RIGHT HE could never handle that! Plus that would blow 1/2 a saturday and 1/2 a tank of gas. I don't think so!)

He JUST started 2 months ago. They would have known then that this was a possibility. They saw HOW HARD it is for him to start new things and deal with change. THey should have told me then so I would make an informed decision, not 2 days before his last lesson!!!!!!!!!

This poor kid can't find a single dang thing to be involved in that he is successful at where adults dont s*rew him.

I wrote them back a scathing email detailing my exact feelings. They should not have messed with mom today. I also told the music therapist that I expect HIM to explain it to Mike. I am not letting him off the hook so I am the bad guy. Let him suffer the wrath of Mike. I usually go in to the lesson with him but this week I think I let Jeremy do it on his own.

GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Oh, and got pulled aside by Cait's teacher today and she is doing just horrible to at the end of the year.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 3:39pm
UGH, Renee (((((((hugs)))))))), I just hate this time of year....daily schedules are shot to kingdom come which makes it hard on everyone.

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Registered: 02-24-2004
In reply to: rbear4
Thu, 05-19-2005 - 4:06pm

Renee,

I'm sorry!!!! That's so horrible of them!! Nathan isn't interested in anything right now (I wish he was!), so I know what you mean about finding something that the kids actually enjoy doing....it's not an easy task!!

Sorry to hear about Cait too. Tyler is doing terrible now too...he now hates reading, does not like his teacher anymore, and he's NOT doing some of his work. I think it's just burnout or something. The warm weather up here, doesn't help. All the kids want to do now is play!!!

Michelle

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Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 9:12am

well, darn them! (((HUGS))) that just stinks!

I hope something will come up that Mike can get into. I'm hoping that I can talk Weston into piano lessons, but right now he's getting resistant. So, since he did pretty well w/ children's choir and it's so low key that he really gets into it and there are so many boys his age in it I'm thinking that children's choir it is.

Do you have a music teacher at your school or one of your Dh's schools that might be willing to do a music lesson w/ Mike one day a week after or before school?

poor kid!

I'm sorry to hear that Cait's not doing so well-- this time of year is crazy, everything is out of whack!

betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 10:17am

Renee:

Gosh that sounds frustrating. I think this previous post about asking a music teacher for a lesson once a week is a great one. Also, when I was in high school, I taught music in the public school system (for free - but got out of classes) to younger kids who needed to learn to integrate music/movement skills. It wasn't exactly music therapy, but I was in school a LONG time ago before they were doing this. My dad was in charge of the school system, and has his phD in special ed, so he arranged these "alternative ways" to reach kids. You might go to your local music (band or chorus) director and ask them if they had a talented student who might be interested in and benefit from doing music lessons/therapies with Mike for extra credit or to get out of class for a time!

Also, our OT office has a music therapist on staff. If we were to do OT it would be covered by insurance. Course, you might be maxed out on insurance - we're all getting there pretty quickly these days!

I sure hope you find a way to keep Mike engaged. ITA re: letting current bad guy do the dirty work, and then, you might show Mike how strongly you are planning to advocate for him - maybe he would even have some ideas or input how he could continue. Both my boys are very "into" music in very different ways. Jesse has taken guitar lessons for 5 years and he is very dedicated to it and loves it. Colin has recently discovered "Pink Floyd." (I know, odd for a 5 year old). He begs me to put "Dark Side of the Moon" on and then he lies there in the dark staring into space and "thinking." (Oh - now I bet you can really tell that I'm an old mom.....)

Good luck,

Jackie

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Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 10:18am

We have a children's choir at church but Mike can handle 0 typical group activities. I even had to pull him out of sunday school the past 2 years while I watch other kids with autism attend and have fun. It is very frustrating. He cannot handle the crowds, change, etc and ends up melting down and sometimes even becoming aggressive. It was a barrel of fun the day he decided to start throwing chairs around the parish center reception area. That was his last day of sunday school. I even tried being his aide.

Fact is I am so angry because there is NOTHING for him. I have tried nearly everything. He needs something 1:1 with someone who understands and specializes in autism AND is something he is interested in. Thus the music therapy. It took me MONTHS to find it. he doesn't even do typical music therapy, his has a major computer component and he is actually learning how to mix music. There is a special needs kids Yoga I could put him in but I know he won't like it and will have a very hard time adapting.

He does do OT, but the school waffled again so that schedule is always changing and he hasn't gone in months but I wanted some sort of outlet for him that he enjoyed and could be used for many things.

Still MAD MAD MAD

Of course, I got no reply from my emails to them.

Renee

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Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 1:49pm

man that just stinks!

I can totally understand that he can't handle the group activities. Weston so badly wants to take strings (violin or viola) at the USC strings project just like Warren. But the first 2 years it's all group lessons. W/ the difficulties Weston has w/ kids that don't do exactly what he thinks they should do and the fact that violins and violas are horribly screechy when the kids are first starting out, we decided he probably couldn't handle the group lessons.

I wonder if there is a really cool band/chorus or other music instructor at one of your local schools that would get into the whole music thing for Mike!?!? I know at our last school district there was one music teacher exactly like this-- ended up being the music teacher for the alternative high school and got these kids to produce some really cool sound tracts and special effects things. Here there is a music teacher in the grade school that loves this kind of thing-- they are really willing to take extra time to help all kinds of kids. I wonder if you or your DH asked around you might be able to find something (I know it probably won't happen right away and it's not going to help this set back but it's worth keeping your ears & mind open). I also like the idea about maybe finding a highschool student that's really into music-- they might be more cool to Mike and really be able to help him find his niche.

for quirky kids finding their niche where they are accepted for what they enjoy or can do differently w/o being rejected for oddities or differences is truely the key. We are working so hard at this w/ both our boys right now; it just is consuming my whole life!

Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 9:04am

Renee:

We got Jesse a computer program called "Acid" that wasn't too expensive, is really easy to use and is good for composing and mixing music tracks. It is actually very eductional because it can let you look at the actual waveforms of the different sounds, and for Jesse who really needs it - it shows the tempo track. Jesse has good technical ability on the guitar and singing, but he can't keep time and he can't feel where the rest of the people are playing if he's playing with someone. The computer program has allowed him to really expand upon his musical creativity without these limitations. You can then burn a CD from the program and listen to it on your own portable player. It's kind of good "listening therapy" to have him make music that he knows makes him feel good and then he can play it through headphones anywhere!

Jackie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
In reply to: rbear4
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 9:57pm
Renee,
You usually seem to have your wits about you. I don't know you, but I feel your anger. I would let the Music teacher explain it to him. Go easy on Cait!! Hang in there. My thoughts are with you!
Julie