Please! We need your help ASAP

Avatar for hathangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
Please! We need your help ASAP
8
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 5:08pm

Hello, In February, I received another call from the school. My son Austin had an outburst towards a teacher's aide after she grabbed his arm. My son is in the 2nd grade. He is on the Autism Spectrum with sensory issues, so this was not the smartest of ideas from the teacher.So, Austin threw a chair. At that time he had not had his final diagonses. Yet, We all knew what was going to be the outcome.He had numerous tests before this. His primary teacher has a son with Asperger's so she led us down this path after we felt like failures as parents. I do not blame any of this on her. She has been great! We were told by the principal that she does not expect everyone in the school to know how to deal with HFA kids. Their answer was sending him to the office when he had outbursts and to keep him in the office for recess. Causing his self esteem to suffer. So, Bad that the school psychologist stated that she thought Austin was depressed! Of course he was depressed they treated him like a freak! (in his own words.) They had me take him home again. I have been home schooling him ever since. We tried working with the school. Yet, He finished a week's worth of school in a day.When we would go to pick up more work there was never any in the office to pick up. So, I went out on my own and purchased my own books and worksheets. They didn't contact me up until our IEP meeting 16 days after that! Even though we hadn't officially signed anything stating we were now homeschooling him. Our state laws say that the can only suspend a special needs child for 10 days. So, I was testing them on how long it would take them to contact us.

After the IEP , The school kept sending me letters stating that we are entitled to an education for our child.Even after the district rep stated at the meeting they had nothing to offer him but a tutor. Austin has an extremely high IQ. If he was doing a week's worth of work in a day. Why would he need a tutor? Not only that, but, when we talked to the tutor she stated that she was unfamilar with high functioning Autism. So, We continued to homeschool him.

At the IEP meeting. I was told by the district rep that they have no place for Austin. They have no classes for hfa or anything similar. So, They are trying to strong arm us in accepting their solution of a tutor.
We just received a call from another district rep. that is heading up an Autism program within the district. Only this is for low functioning Autisic children not High functioning students. He wanted to meet up with us, After I asked him 3 times if they will be having a class for kids like Austin. He finally said no. They I asked why he wanted to see my son then. Well, You all know the answer, to get the district of the hook and make sure we as parents know what we are doing. I am so mad!

Why would I trust a district that has nothing to offer my son. Our neurologist found that at least 25% of their test findings were false including his motor skills level.She barely put him on the spectrum.( The reason she did was because of his tics and the fact that he collects and organizes his super hereos to extreme.) They act like their information is the only one that we are basing our decisions on.

HERE IS WHERE YOU ALL COME IN. Please tell me what your district is doing to accommidate your child. Paraprofessionals, Aides, Smaller classes etc. I need some examples to go into this meeting with. Thye think we are being unreasonable and we should just take the tutor. Do their curriculum,They Collect the money from the state and we should be happy and quiet about it.
I should mention that they removed him from the school because they are worried about the safety of others. He has outbursts due to his sensory issues and being different. Yet, They were not concerned when a boy pushed him on the playground last year. Causing Austin a trip to the emergency room and his arm in a cast.
I don't know if I am doing the right thing. It just feels right. Austin's facial tics have diminished and his outbursts are rare now. Yet,We feeling pressure from the school and district. We feel they are telling us that we are bad parents.
Please tell us what you do and what accommodations
are being made for your child.
Thank you so much! This message board has meant everything to me, When I thought we were alone.

Mitzi Hathaway

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 8:03pm

Hi, I am new here, and I really can't offer any insights for you. I can only tell you that my oldest son attended public school, and although there were no special issues with him, I found the system to be laughable. I was very young when I had him, and weren't aware of my options. I simply did the best I could. By that, I mean that he went to school during the day, while I worked, and we both came home at night and I taught him what he should've been taught in school.

Now, I am older and much smarter, and I've known since the day my second (and third and fourth) child was born that he wouldn't be attending public school. At first, I thought perhaps private school, but many of the same issues must be faced there. Finally, I realized that homeschooling was the way to go, and I felt compelled to respond to you because you've been doing it for a while anyway.

While it can be difficult in the beginning, it is so rewarding and such an amazing experience, that the difficulties become secondary. If you decide to go that route, and continue to homeschool your child, you'll find that there is no greater experience. There are days when I wonder if I can keep it up for *gulp* 15 more years, but then I remember that I was led by God to do this, and with his help, I'll succeed and my children will be better for it.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck to you.

Shelli

Avatar for sheila3xblessed
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-20-2005 - 8:51pm
Honestly, I say don't attend the meeting (why even bother--it won't accomplish anything and they will only make you mad), inform them that you are no longer considering a public school education and will not be in need of their services, ignore their attempts at further contact, and keep homeschooling him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 1:36am

Sheila,

In this case they may not neccessarily be able to do it this way. Also, it is not good to burn bridges you may need down the line. If a public school believes a child has a significant disability but the parents are refusing to treat, they may have to call social services per law. If you refuse to at least meet with them and ignore thier calls this is a possible route they may take. Too long to go into here, but they may actually have to legally.

Rather a better option is to go with what IDEA neccessitates. I am tired and didn't read the whole first post well I think now. Do you want to stay homeschooling? or Do you want the school to provide an appropriate education? I thought the later since you were askign what other parents are doing.

The fact of the matter is, if they don't have an appropriate program then they need to provide one. If the home tutor is an appropriate program then so be it. However, for a kid with HFA who needs work on social and behavior skills I highly doubt a tutor constitutes FAPE (free appropriate public education). Often what is done in cases like this where the school does not have an appropriate placement then the child is placed in a non-public school at the districts expense. There are specific schools for kids with HFA/AS in many states. If not one like that there are often similar schools or schools that will take him. If that is not the case, then they can look in neighboring districts. Many states will provide a way where a child can go to a program in a neighboring district if the home district pays for it. or similar. In CA we have SELPA's for this. (special education local plan area) they had something similar in MA when I lived there.

My son is a lot like that. He couldn't handle mainstream school in 2nd grade due to the stress but is very high IQ. We got Lucky and creative for this year. He is in a learning handicapped special day class with his own 1:1 aide. originally the aide was there so he could go to mainstream classes for his academics but the special day class (SDC) was his homeroom/safe area. However, he wasn't even able to handle that much mainstream. So they put him in the 3-5th grade SDC full time. Since he was in 3rd he was able to be grouped with some of the 5th graders who were at his grade level academically. When there isn't a group available at his academic level (he is higher than the rest of the class) he works 1:1 with his aide or does earobics or works on one of his other objectives. the LH (learning handicap) class worked out well for him because despite being the highest academically in class, the rest of the class is higher socially, behaviorally, etc and provide good role models for him in that way. They also "get" Mike. It doesn't matter if he is different in that class. He doesn't get teased, etc. They are all different but the other kids understand. He is much happier there.

HTH

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 1:40am

PS, I forgot if you do want to homeschool him, I am sure you can meet with the team and tell them that they don't have a program to meet his needs and you want to put him on a home contract. Often you can keep him on an IEP while being homeschooled and he can attend school for speech or what ever extra services. Try to work with your schools on that. If not tell them you want to exit him from an IEP. Since he will be homeschooled and his IEP is for behavioral, not academic needs you don't feel he would need one.

Each state has ways to do the homeschool thing. We even have a program set up through our district here. I would recomend going about it that way and not just ignoring them. THey are a state agency and they have a responsibility to follow through legally. They won't be able to just let it drop even if you ignore them. I imagine they could even involve truancy officers.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2005
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 4:35pm

Mitzi,
First off, good luck. You sound like you have a leg to stand on. My 4.5 yo HFA/AS daughter was just dx'd 5 weeks ago, and has been in our school dist. ECE program for 4 weeks. I am amazed at what they have done in only 4 weeks! I have been told that we live in the best school dist (Illinois dist 203) for special needs kids. There are many classes that have kids much worse than Arianna, she is mainstreamed; 10 "community kids and 5 special needs kids. There are 4 teachers in the room, as well as O.T., P.T. and Psychologist in and out.

I feel so lucky to live where we live, mainly because right now I would not be a good advocate for her. I am learning everything I can, as fast as i can, but I don't feel like I need to step in with the school. I hope your son gets the help he needs. You could always move...

Julie

Avatar for hathangel
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 5:41pm

Thanks Renee,
I have not ignored them. Yet, When the district rep. stated that they had no place for Austin I just didn't know where to go from there. I have read the laws and other posts here and I decided that my son was getting short changed.

They only offered us a tutor nothing else. To be honest I would have to quit my job just to have him tutored one hour a day. My husband works nights. I also have a daughter in middle school that I car pool to school and her activities.The tutor called 15 min before she wanted to stop over. I was on my way to drop my daughter off, My husband was just waking up and I had to be at work in an hour! When I tried to reschedule she had nothing for 3 days. Then she said that she often doesn't know if she can fit in a student until that morning. I don't know about you, But, I have to have my days planned and Austin needs schedules and structure. He likes to know exactly what is going to happen. THis kind of setup would not work for a HFA child! That's when I knew that they knew nothing about kids like my son.
At the meeting, the school recommended that we home school him for awhile. When we agreed, They then stated that they were worried about his socialization! What would a tutor help socialization? To be honest I was tired, my son was stressed and I thought this was best at the time. I was being called every other day to come pick him up.

I guess I am just looking for ideas for next year. I can't keep him in a box forever. Yet, I can't have him being picked on and in the office forever either. He is not a violent kid. He is very sweet.Full of hugs and kisses. He just can't handle 30 kids in a class. I have been told more than once that the district has no small classes for kids such as him. They will not put him in the special needs class. So, I am lost.

I should mention that our district is one of the largest in state of Oregon. They provide services for every other disability. I believe that they should accommidate him as they do any child that is physically handicapped or mentally handicapped.
While sadly many of the special needs children they do help will never be independent or employable. My child will be able to hold a job or even be able to own his own company if you listen to him! :)

Yet, they are dismissing him. Is the Autism Spectrum so new of a disability that the schools don't know what to do? OR do they think it is a behavioral issue. It is not.You can't tell my son not to have a anxiety attack or outburst anymore than you can tell a child in a wheel chair to walk. I have just come to that reality. I believe that many uneducated people still think HFA and Asperger's are due to bad parenting or are a behavioral issue. I have come to realize that the one's looking after our children do not know enough about their conditions.

I guess I am looking for ideas along with solutions that other districts in other states are providing for your children. I know some are much more informed and are adapting to their needs much more than ours is.
Thanks to all for your advice.
Hugs,
Mitzi

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-21-2005 - 11:01pm

They are short changing you. I had read some advice to ignore them and I wanted to be sure you knew that wasn't a good legal option.

My main point though is that if the district isn't going to work with you, I would explore nonpublic placements in your area. Contact your local ASA (autism society of america) and ask them what for contacts or what resources, schools are in your area. Parents always are the best resources for the and the ASA is parents typically and usually will know or know who you can contact.

It is pretty standard and I am sure I can find exact the IDEA quote that if a district cannot provide appropriate placement in district, then they must pay for him to go out of district. It is part of FAPE (free appropriate public education). A district MUST provide FAPE at no cost to the parents. If they don't have a FAPE offer in district then they have to pay for out of district placement. Tutoring is NOT appropriate for him. Oh let me count the WAYS!!!

Your son is 7? there is a online resource of a book published by the national association of sciences that makes recomendations for young children with autism spectrum disorders. This would be a great resource when arguing what "appropriate" means for him. 2 main points. Kids with autism spectrum disorders regardless of which ASD need early intensive education. Education should be at a minimum of 20-25 hours per week. There is way more but obviously tutoring doesn't cut it.

Renee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 05-23-2005 - 7:20am

Hi Mitzi,

I'm sorry you are having to fight so hard but good for you for doing it. My son is in 4th grade now. He was in second when he was dx. Its took us untill 4th grade to get the everything he needs. My ds spends part of his time in the resource room for small group or one-to-one instruction. He is very smart but is so distracted by the regular classroom he has a hard time getting the work done. When he's in the reg. classroom he has a study carol, painted black per his request because the wood grain distracted him, set apart slightly from the other desks. He also has a second desk next to the study carol set up with organizational shelve for his subjects. He has a move-n-sit cushion on his chair and a weighted backpack to use as needed. Ds also has 2 sensory breaks during the day. He has his own Alfa-smart to use for writing assig. due to dysgraphia. For social skills they've set up a friendship group that meets 1-2 times a month, he meets with the principal once a wk and another child, and he gets direction from an aide at recess. He gets OT for a half hr once a wk to work on sensory issues for self regulation.

Good luck to you. Let us know how it all works out!
Samantha

Samantha