He cried at the movie!
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| Mon, 05-30-2005 - 6:49am |
I sat down for a couple of minutes yesterday and noticed "White Fang" was on the telly. Peter had been caught by it; he was standing watching with his back to me.
So it was at the point where Ethan Hawke had to send the dog away because he was leaving town. The dog wouldn't leave him, and he had to threaten it with a stick. Having been abused formerly, the dog scarpered and Ethan's little heart broke. Sad and all that; I continued folding laundry.
Peter turned to me, he face was red and contorted. He was distraught. I caught him just before he ran out of the room and tried to understand what made him sad ("all of it").
So I told him to sit with me while we watched the rest to see what would happen. Sure enough, Ethan Hawke decided not to leave town, but to stay and restore his burned out cabin. The dog and he were joyously reunited. Roll credits.
Peter started to cry inconsolably again. In fact he was weepy for most of the rest of the day.
I'm confused. I mean; I am happy that he "got" it enough to cry, but upset that it made *him* so upset, and concerned about how to teach him the difference between empathy and morbidity.
Any ideas?
-Paula

I think it is way not true that ASD kids are not emphathetic. It's just that their senses are sometimes confused and often overwhelmed, making it difficult for them to read non-verbal communication and often they miss what is going on with other people in the moment because they are so busy translating and working on their own survival. Therefore they cannot be empathetic to what they cannot "read".
My son Malcolm (age almost 8, PDD-NOS) has a very big heart, and a movie does not require the back and forth and myriad sensory input that every day life does, henceforth it's easier for him to follow what is happening. Therefore it is easier for him to emphathise with the story. Malcolm responds big to loss of loved ones, parents for example, but it has been a while now since he lost it in grief over a movie. He knows it's made up, a fiction, and he's not as susceptible now.
What he has a harder time with now in watching movies is scary suspence. He used to duck under the seats during suspenceful parts in movies and ask me to let him know when it was over. Now he will grasp my arm and whisper "I'm scared", but he can tolerate the suspence, and whispers "Whew!" when the resolution comes. He actually does the same thing when we are reading books with scary parts. And at least he whispers now, we had some interesting moments in movie theatres when he really wasn't able to modulate his voice. He told me recently that it's a little fun to be scared sometimes ... a good sign, in my book, about his ability to hang on in chaotic, suspenseful moments, something we work on in RDI training.
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Awe, poor guy!
I understand Paula. That is really something I can see Mike doing. It is hard to tell when something is really going to affect him and he can get stuck on it for a really long time. What makes this one thing different than others?
Bad example but can't think of another right now. A few years back John's great aunt died. The kids had met her briefly 1 time and we were going to the funeral. This stuck with Mike forever after, way beyond what was normal. A year later were were at a church that looked similar and it reminded him of the funeral and he started to cry because he missed her. But this is the same kid that can watch heads flying in lord of the rings without flinching.
He has been that way with an occasional movie too. hard to determine what will set it in motion and what won't. Heck it is hard to determine with accuracy how he is going to respond to lots of things. But we take them one situation at a time and try to help him best way we can in each one that comes up.
Renee