Should we have another baby?
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Should we have another baby?
| Tue, 05-31-2005 - 3:11pm |
Hi everyone!
I posted on the autism board a few weeks ago and only got two responses. One of them suggested trying this board! My question is, have any of you chosen to have another baby after your child was dx'd? If yes, what happened? We have an 8 yo son with AS and a 5 1/2 yo son with HFA. We would LOVE to have another baby, especially a girl, but we are TERRIFIED of having another child on the spectrum. I also worry about the big age difference there would be with my boys and the new baby, so I'd love to hear from families with that experience too.
Thanks,
Traci

Well, now that is a decision you will have to make. On the one hand, since you already have 2 kids on the spectrum your chances of having another are much higher than the rest of the general population. Then again 3rd time might be a charm. It was for me.
My friend just had her 5th child about a year ago. Her oldest is ADHD and her next 2 are both ASD. Her 4th was a girl and is perfectly NT, and her 5th is a boy and also very NT.
I have 4 kids. My first 2 are AS/HFA, my 3rd is very NT buy has some vision processing and sensory issues, and my 4th is ADHD and diagnosed PDD-NOS, but it is really borderline.
I wish there were better answers to give but there aren't. I know lots of mom's who go through that same struggle. Some have chosen to have more, some have not. I guess it depends on how many kids a person wanted in the first place, and how they feel about future ASD kids as a possibility. If you want a child because you wanted more than 2 all along and would prefer a typical but would be ok with an ASD child then why not.
Renee
If we did have another child on the spectrum I would be devastated, but I do know that that child would be receiving the best services by the time they were probably 18 months old, with all of the knowledge and contacts that I have gained over the last several years.
The rate of autism is 1 in 166 births -- has anyone seen research regarding the figure in families that already have a multiple incidence?
I imagine that having a NT child would be such an amazing experience for both my husband & me as well as for my boys. For those of you with NT children as well, do you think that child (or children) made a big difference in your family?
I have two on the spectrum, and one NT. My NT is our middle child, a girl, and to say that the autism has had an impact on her, would be an understatement. To be honest, I often feel very guilty. She takes the weight of the world on her shoulders, especially when it comes to caring for her siblings. She's only 6, but she understand autism, and how it makes her siblings different from other kids. It's not easy for her, and not always easy for her autistic siblings. (Imagine being a 7 year old boy trying to learn how to ride a bike, and your 5 year old sister simply hops and and takes off.)
We would desperately love to have more children, but we're not willing to take the risk.
I'm certainly not going to tell anybody to not have more children because of the possibility of autism. My hat goes off to anybody with the courage to even consider having more children after being in this position.
Whatever you decide, I wish you the best...there's no easy answer to your question.
Amy W.
the info I have seen on reoccurance is that your chances are higher if you already have one child on the spectrum and even higher if they are boys. (I have read stats from 25-50% chance for another child to have if your first does)
As for me, I have one boy borderline PDD and another who is perfectly normal. We started all the evaluations and stuff actually right after I had our second child. We would have had another child as well, but I have so many complications in pregnancy that we felt we would be seriouslly pushing our luck to try again (20+ weeks of bedrest between the 2 I already have was quiet aenough!).
Hi Traci,
Well, I was the one on the other board who suggested you post here. :)
I don't know the recurrence rate...but I do know that your odds are higher if you have a child on the spectrum already. I did read or hear somewhere that if you have a GIRL on the spectrum (since it's comparatively uncommon) than your odds of having another affected child are higher. I do know several families with more than one child who is affected.
On the upside, you would be knowledgable and perhaps better equipped. On the flipside, I don't think that I could do it. My youngest is 16-months old and it's very stressful watching her develop (typically so far) since my DS was typical at that age too. The thought of "loosing" her is too much to bear. So I will be grateful for what I have (I also have a typical DD who is 7.)
Cathy
Traci,
This has been a question for me also. My oldest is AS and my middle child is now loosing her words (1 1/2)OF course, there is a concern that she has autism. I have a one month old, so I haven't the opportunity to choose yet if I want to risk having another autistic child. I am interested in adopting, though. Have you considered adopting? If you don't go through a regular adoption agency you may be able to adopt cheaply. Then you could get a child closer to your other childrens' ages.
Sarah T (PTSD,SID,AS)
Kailey (AS,SID)
Bethany
Taryn