Hi, I'm new hear and would like opinions
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| Sat, 06-11-2005 - 9:48pm |
I have this wonderful, bright, exuberant, fun, and eccentric child. She is 2.75 and I think she's absolutely amazing. I wouldn't change anything about her (as long as I've had enough sleep), but she's just 'different' than other kids her age that we encounter, and I've started to wonder whether I should look into early intervention assessment. I plan to homeschool her, so I might be the only to pick out differences for awhile.
The idea that she was 'different' started at park days and trips to museums and the zoo. There was nothing specific, just this feeling that she wasn't like the other kids. Lately its clarified into traits that I can pick out and describe. She has symptoms of OCD: touching every post along a path, needing to follow the same path through the zoo, routines that can't be altered. Like, when we go to the library she walks up the ramp and tells me to walk up the stairs. If I forget and just walk up the ramp she will not go into the library until I go back down and come up the stairs.
She also has this obsession with being a 'baby puppy'. For the past 3 months or so she spends a lot of time during the day (though its starting to taper down a bit) pretending to be a baby puppy. Often she won't answer me unless I call her "baby puppy" and clap and whistle the way I do to the real dogs (gotta love that in the grocery store!). She will tell me things like "say 'baby puppy sit'" and repeat and repeat and repeat it until I order 'baby puppy' to sit. Then she'll sit at my feet and lick my leg. She barks and paws at other children and doesn't stop even when the other child is clearly frightened. My friends think its funny, and I did too for the first month. Now I'm starting to wonder.
She doesn't play with other kids, really. When I leave her at the child care room at our gym she just plays in the corner by herself. Whenever I go to pick her up there are a bunch of kids climbing on the playsets and Kivrin is sitting in the corner building with blocks, or playing house with the kitchen stuff by herself. If she does play with other kids she just tells them what to do until they get bored and go away.
With me, and other adults she's perfectly social though. She makes eye contact and shares interests. Although she will play by herself for an hour or more she'll often come and drag me by the hand into the living room to play with her toys. She needs me to do what she says though and gets really upset if I do my own thing (like draw with a different color crayon or use the wrong truck). She also has a friend that is a year younger than her that she really likes. Kivrin gives her hugs and kisses and asks to go see her on a regular basis. She calls her "Leia, my real friend" to differentiate her from the other friends who only she can see. Like the one who lives in her playhouse and only eats hot pockets. We don't even eat hot pockets.
And I know her development is somewhat asynchronous already. For instance, she has a few sight words she can repeatably recognize, but can't say the alphabet. And she can count to 30, but only if she thinks I'm not listening. However she can't dress herself despite repeated instruction and won't use the potty (although she really enjoys going through all the steps from finding her step stool through washing her hands). And she just can't seem to follow requests unless I stand over her and remind her of each step as we go "remember, we're picking up your socks. Remember you need to pick up all the socks." ect.
Now, I'll admit up front that I'm a little over sensitive about her. She's hypoglycemic (phhi if you know what that is) and she could easily have died when she was 5 months (point of diagnosis) and I've always felt that is was partly because I didn't push the doctors hard enough after her first seizure. I tend to get a little stressed out when I think there's something not right, so if you think I'm overreacting please tell me so. I'm sure her doc will, but I can't get in until next month.
Thank you in advance.
Mary

Thank you for your insight.
So, you don't think its important to have her evaluated at a preschool age? I understand that lost's of toddler/preschool behavior can seem like AS behavior to an adult. I just want to make sure that I do everything I can for her, especially since I plan to be her main teacher for a number of years to come.
I know I'm probably just obsessing. It's just that she reminds me soooo much of my nephew when he was younger, and although he hasn't been diagnosed at this point, (just finished 3rd grade) every description I see of AS boys at that age seem to be describing him. I've always had a certain affinity to him. He's so smart and just can't seem to connect with the rest of the universe. Of course, I could stand with hearing fewer hours of Yu-gio talk on my long distance bill, but I think he's an amazing kid. Unfortunately he's just not doing well in school, despite what I know to be a brilliant head on his shoulders and my sister is not open to any discussion about him or his behavior. So, although I'm aware that I might be just overreacting to normal differences in development, I don't want to make my daughter's life difficult by ignoring obvious issues. KWIM?
Thanks again.
Mary
Hi Mary,
Welcome to the board. I have to say, I tink you should have her evaluated. It is always wise, IMO to follow a gut instinct, and if you feel something is not quite standard, to follow that feeling through. The earlier interventions can start, the more effective they will be.
My son Peter (HFA) used to have a lot of similar behaviours to the ones you described. Even now, at almost 7yo, he prefers to speak Pokemon than words. (Yep. Interesting in the grocery store...).
I also see shades of my daughter (borderline AS) in your descriptions. She preferred adults to children and would happily play alone for extend periods. We did push hard to get services for her througt the school district when she was turning 3, and I am really glad we did. Speech therapy, OT and special ed services in a regular school environment really helped her to progress at an accelerated pace. Now she has just turned 5, and will join a regular class for K in Sept.
Good luck with Kivrin (Great name! Where is it from?). Feel free to ask any questions you need and please let us know how it goes.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Hi, Mary!
I too think you should go with your gut and have Kivrin evaluated.
Mary, I too have a 2 year old that has the personality of one with AS. We've known since she was born there was something 'wrong.' We looked into ASD, but she just didn't match up with classic autism. I planned on homeschooling when we got married, but since found that it would be neccesary because of her special issues. My mom always said she was perfectly normal, I acted just like she did. Well, a newborn who screams until she is put down, as I did, is not normal. A school aged girl with no friends is not normal. A teenager who does nothing but read books and talk a mile a minute about special interests is not normal. A college student who would rather stay in her dorm room and write papers not due for another month instead of go see a sappy pointless movie such as Titanic with her dormates is not normal. So I didn't accept my mom's advice, and had an evaluation done with Early Childhood Intervention.
Here's what I found: she was delayed in fine and gross motorskills and they didn't know what was causing her behavioural issues. They accepted her as a patient, and began weekly sessions. Six months later she saw a behaviourist who DX her with sensory integration dysfunction, but said she doesn't think Kailey has a PDD, which means she's not autistic. My mom saw a special on AS and called me saying that those children acted just like I did, and the adults were remarkably like me. I have taken the 'tests' online and read several books and tons of online info, and everything points to Kailey and I having AS. So, I am studying as much as I can about AS and how I can help my daughter (and myself, I might add) develop her good qualities and improve on the bad. It doesn't take a diagnosis to do that. She has an apointment with a geneticist in July to rule out other conditions that have similar symptoms. She may never get a true diagnosis, but that doesn't lesson the amount of help I can give her.
I hope you continue to try to find how to help your daughter. Growing up I knew there was something different and I looked for help, but there was none. Congratulations on recognising her needs and trying to fill them.
Sarah
Thank you Sarah! It's funny, but until I read your post I don't even think I'd admitted to myself that part of my concern for my daughter springs from my fears that she will repeat my childhood. I was another of those grade school kids with no friends and no real understanding of why. I preferred my own company because I just couldn't seem to fit in. Despite being put in the gifted program in 3rd grade I didn't understand how to *do* school. I hated every minute. When I see Kivrin with other kids in her peer group I just get this feeling in the pit of my stomache that she doesn't know how to be with other kids and I get scared for her.
I really love her the way she is and I don't want to change her. I just want to give her the best chance at a great adulthood someday, and a satisfactory trip to get there.
Mary
I just want to thank everyone that replied to my post. I really appreciate the advice and shared information. I've talked with my husband about it and I think we're going to go ahead with an assessment. Because Kivrin's endocrine problem carries a 40-60% chance (sample sizes are pretty small so there's a large variance in studies) of learning disabilities that tend to show between now and age 6, the protocol would allow us to seek an appointment with a neuropsychiatrist after her 3rd birthday (on the insurance company I mean). I'll talk to her specialist about it in July. In the mean time I'm going to keep reading and observing and lurking around here (if that's alright with everyone).
Thank you again. Your insights have been very helpful to me.
Mary
You are welcome! Have you ever taken the aspie quiz and the Baron-Cohen ASD test? They are free online.
I'd give links, but I have to go-