I hope it helps you to know that our pdd-nos son was almost 5 before he completely trained himself overnight... after 2 years of doing every type of potty training known to man. Video tapes and books, dolls that peed into potties, having him nude alot, putting him on potty regularly (he would just wait til after he was off the pot!) We worked very hard on keeping anxiety and blame etc. out of the process, constantly reinforcing that he would learn when he was ready. That he WOULD learn, but we understood that he had trouble feeling when he was ready to go. That he would be able to do it and that it was OK for him to wait 'til he really could do it, no matter how old he was. Sometimes at age 8 he still has problems feeling when he's ready. Fortunately he has amazing control now and never an accident!
Malcolm let us know that he thought using the potty was kinda dumb!!! After all, diapers was a perfectly good system that was working for him, why mess with it? Also, he told us he probably would not manage to learn til after he was 6 years old LOL... He really just wasn't ready until 3 months before he turned 5, and then he did everything right all at once, including dry through the night. And we have not had any problems since.
Good luck to you. I have only heard of a handful of spectrum kids who weren't somewhat later in learning how to potty.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm in a similar potty dilemma with my 3.5 yr old (nt??). My ASD DS was easier, although he wasn't trained until 4 1/2. DS#1 trained in pre-k (he was mainstreamed 1/2 day) after he saw boys in his class wearing cool underwear, and a few of the boys started teasing him about wearing pullups. He told me one day, "no more pullups!" and never looked back.
Sam just doesn't care. He will sit on the potty AFTER he has gone. I'm wondering if he's just not feeling those "I have to go" sensations. He'll be going to preschool the first of August and must be fully trained before they will allow him in. I'm stressing alot over this.
Just wanted to say that if you can look back in the older messages of this list there is a pretty interesting thread on this topic from a few months ago. Also, I read the "floortime" list on Yahoo groups and we recently had a long discussion about this too.
I also wanted to echo the sentiment that it is fairly common for ASD kids to be later in toilet training. Our pedneuro doc told me not to get too worried until DS was 5 or 6. Since DS had a few signs, we started, also they were doing it in school and I guess we've been lucky. He's 3.5, and it has taken about 7 mos. to get him urine trained and going on his own. Now for bms he is going in the bathroom to "hide" but not sitting on the potty yet which is a step up for us. Before he would hide somewhere and go around with a full pullup. At least bms are only once a day! LOL!
DS also had trouble feeling the urge until I quit pullups cold turkey, except at night (he still wakes up wet, but I am not worrying about that at all yet). Once we ditched the pullups and pumped him with fluids he finally "got it" and now goes on his own. What also helped was using rewards for doing it. Videos, books, "being like Daddy" he could not have cared less! A PECS picture schedule on the wall of each bathroom also helped him remember what to do. Also having a stool for his feet helped. DS didn't care about his little kiddie potty, it was a toy as far as he was concerned. But he did use the seat that fits into the regular seat as long as he had the stool. He also prefers to stand on the stool and pee "big boy style."
Right now, we have the Las Vegas prize package of a "golden Thomas train" and the accompanying new video displayed in the bathroom that he will get when he poops in the potty!
I think partly it is patience and the understanding that our kids need longer to reach this goal, and partly just hitting on what will work with them. Each child is different.
Good luck! If you need the pictures for the PECS, let me know and I'll dig up the website, it's something like "do2learn" and has all the PECS for free.
Cassian only recently began taking himself to the potty this January (5 yrs 2 mos). He still doesn't wipe himself well or forgets to wipe altogether. He also often forgets and takes his pants all the way off, then exits the bathroom naked from the waist down.
We tried all potty training methods, since the age of 3, and I invented a few myself. We also went through a period of screaming and rejecting the toilet, mostly because he hated being taken away from whatever he was doing at the time. I kept taking him to the bathroom and used a lot of written signs to communicate (pictures are good for most kids, but Cassian is hyperlexic). Eventually, he went cooperatively. I think being in preschool with other kids going to the bathroom all the time, helped him make sense of the whole thing finally. I also noted a spurt in motor planning capabilities around the time he began taking himself to the toilet.
Just for the record, friends of mine who are teachers/parents have told me of many cases where very bright and otherwise capable children with ASD's didn't start using the toilet effectively until age 8-10. It is scary to hear about this, but I even bought rubber pants in a pretty large size last year, fully expecting that Cassian, who is in the 97th percentile for height and weight, would outgrow pullups before we ever got him trained. DH and I were both pretty shocked when we started hearing Cassian in the bathroom using the toilet several months later. We had just become pregnant with #2, and we were joking that Cassian and his sib would be toilet training together in a couple of years.
I wish I could give you some advice, but as a parent to an 8 year old (yes, 8!) AS son who took forever to potty train (and STILL has accidents occasionally), I just want to let you know you certainly aren't alone. While 8 is rather old and I don't want to discourage you, my ds is definitely on the top end of the spectrum regarding potty training.
It wasn't until he was in first grade that he actually initiated peeing in the potty himself (and he still wears Goodnites to bed; we're working on changing that over the summer!). And he finally starting pooping in the potty by himself last summer at age 7. There was no rhyme or reason as to why he did it when he did; he actually did it out of the blue without being told, while we were on vacation at a friend's beach house, no less!
Again, I have no advice, as I had tried EVERY method known and then some, and it still has been a long, difficult road. Since every child is different (particularly our AS kids), it's so difficult to say one method is better than others. Hang in there!!!
hi.... it does "click",just takes time. One thing that help my ds was, quilted underware and rubber pants at home... we only used pull-ups to go out"bye-bye underware" and at night. the pooping part took forever...:( and I'm sure he only learned that part because he had diarhera(?) and got a nasty rash....
one other thing... my ds is almost 7, has just started to stand to pee, he didn't like looking into the toilet... go figure..once we figured that out...he had the peeing part all figured out... and he hated, never used a little potty,would say that his bum would get stuck, he also had to say good-bye... when we flushed..
Dear Pam,
I hope it helps you to know that our pdd-nos son was almost 5 before he completely trained himself overnight... after 2 years of doing every type of potty training known to man. Video tapes and books, dolls that peed into potties, having him nude alot, putting him on potty regularly (he would just wait til after he was off the pot!) We worked very hard on keeping anxiety and blame etc. out of the process, constantly reinforcing that he would learn when he was ready. That he WOULD learn, but we understood that he had trouble feeling when he was ready to go. That he would be able to do it and that it was OK for him to wait 'til he really could do it, no matter how old he was. Sometimes at age 8 he still has problems feeling when he's ready. Fortunately he has amazing control now and never an accident!
Malcolm let us know that he thought using the potty was kinda dumb!!! After all, diapers was a perfectly good system that was working for him, why mess with it? Also, he told us he probably would not manage to learn til after he was 6 years old LOL... He really just wasn't ready until 3 months before he turned 5, and then he did everything right all at once, including dry through the night. And we have not had any problems since.
Good luck to you. I have only heard of a handful of spectrum kids who weren't somewhat later in learning how to potty.
yours,
Sara
ilovemalcolm
I'm sorry I don't have advice for you.
I just wanted to let you know that I'm in a similar potty dilemma with my 3.5 yr old (nt??). My ASD DS was easier, although he wasn't trained until 4 1/2. DS#1 trained in pre-k (he was mainstreamed 1/2 day) after he saw boys in his class wearing cool underwear, and a few of the boys started teasing him about wearing pullups. He told me one day, "no more pullups!" and never looked back.
Sam just doesn't care. He will sit on the potty AFTER he has gone. I'm wondering if he's just not feeling those "I have to go" sensations. He'll be going to preschool the first of August and must be fully trained before they will allow him in. I'm stressing alot over this.
Hi there,
Just wanted to say that if you can look back in the older messages of this list there is a pretty interesting thread on this topic from a few months ago. Also, I read the "floortime" list on Yahoo groups and we recently had a long discussion about this too.
I also wanted to echo the sentiment that it is fairly common for ASD kids to be later in toilet training. Our pedneuro doc told me not to get too worried until DS was 5 or 6. Since DS had a few signs, we started, also they were doing it in school and I guess we've been lucky. He's 3.5, and it has taken about 7 mos. to get him urine trained and going on his own. Now for bms he is going in the bathroom to "hide" but not sitting on the potty yet which is a step up for us. Before he would hide somewhere and go around with a full pullup. At least bms are only once a day! LOL!
DS also had trouble feeling the urge until I quit pullups cold turkey, except at night (he still wakes up wet, but I am not worrying about that at all yet). Once we ditched the pullups and pumped him with fluids he finally "got it" and now goes on his own. What also helped was using rewards for doing it. Videos, books, "being like Daddy" he could not have cared less! A PECS picture schedule on the wall of each bathroom also helped him remember what to do. Also having a stool for his feet helped. DS didn't care about his little kiddie potty, it was a toy as far as he was concerned. But he did use the seat that fits into the regular seat as long as he had the stool. He also prefers to stand on the stool and pee "big boy style."
Right now, we have the Las Vegas prize package of a "golden Thomas train" and the accompanying new video displayed in the bathroom that he will get when he poops in the potty!
I think partly it is patience and the understanding that our kids need longer to reach this goal, and partly just hitting on what will work with them. Each child is different.
Good luck! If you need the pictures for the PECS, let me know and I'll dig up the website, it's something like "do2learn" and has all the PECS for free.
Katherine
Pam,
Cassian only recently began taking himself to the potty this January (5 yrs 2 mos). He still doesn't wipe himself well or forgets to wipe altogether. He also often forgets and takes his pants all the way off, then exits the bathroom naked from the waist down.
We tried all potty training methods, since the age of 3, and I invented a few myself. We also went through a period of screaming and rejecting the toilet, mostly because he hated being taken away from whatever he was doing at the time. I kept taking him to the bathroom and used a lot of written signs to communicate (pictures are good for most kids, but Cassian is hyperlexic). Eventually, he went cooperatively. I think being in preschool with other kids going to the bathroom all the time, helped him make sense of the whole thing finally. I also noted a spurt in motor planning capabilities around the time he began taking himself to the toilet.
Just for the record, friends of mine who are teachers/parents have told me of many cases where very bright and otherwise capable children with ASD's didn't start using the toilet effectively until age 8-10. It is scary to hear about this, but I even bought rubber pants in a pretty large size last year, fully expecting that Cassian, who is in the 97th percentile for height and weight, would outgrow pullups before we ever got him trained. DH and I were both pretty shocked when we started hearing Cassian in the bathroom using the toilet several months later. We had just become pregnant with #2, and we were joking that Cassian and his sib would be toilet training together in a couple of years.
Suzi
Pam,
I wish I could give you some advice, but as a parent to an 8 year old (yes, 8!) AS son who took forever to potty train (and STILL has accidents occasionally), I just want to let you know you certainly aren't alone. While 8 is rather old and I don't want to discourage you, my ds is definitely on the top end of the spectrum regarding potty training.
It wasn't until he was in first grade that he actually initiated peeing in the potty himself (and he still wears Goodnites to bed; we're working on changing that over the summer!). And he finally starting pooping in the potty by himself last summer at age 7. There was no rhyme or reason as to why he did it when he did; he actually did it out of the blue without being told, while we were on vacation at a friend's beach house, no less!
Again, I have no advice, as I had tried EVERY method known and then some, and it still has been a long, difficult road. Since every child is different (particularly our AS kids), it's so difficult to say one method is better than others. Hang in there!!!
Laurie
Laurie
Thanks for all your support and good advice.
hi.... it does "click",just takes time.
One thing that help my ds was, quilted underware and rubber pants at home... we only used pull-ups to go out"bye-bye underware" and at night.
the pooping part took forever...:( and I'm sure he only learned that part because he had diarhera(?) and got a nasty rash....
one other thing... my ds is almost 7, has just started to stand to pee, he didn't like looking into the toilet... go figure..once we figured that out...he had the peeing part all figured out... and he hated, never used a little potty,would say that his bum would get stuck, he also had to say good-bye... when we flushed..
good luck...