What is considered an obsession?

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Registered: 07-23-2003
What is considered an obsession?
5
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 10:19am

I'm confused about something and hope that someone can clarify. I keep reading about abnormal "obsessions" with toys or a certain toy, such as trains or lining toys up. But then I read someone saying that their child liked to play with remote controls and cords. Don't most kids like to play with remotes and push the buttons? My dd likes to and she likes to play with the remote and cord to the controller for my dh playstation. She will sit for about 15 minutes sometimes and play with it. Other times, it's a minute and she'll put it down and go to some other toy. Other times she'll walk right past it and play with something else. I think her attention span is that of a normal child. My question is: When is it considered an obsesssion or that they are a fanantic about it (I can't think of the right term)? For how long do they play with a certain thing for it to be considered abnormal?

Thanks in advance.

Amy

Mom to Daughter born 9/23/04

Mom to son born

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 11:32am

It depends on the age. If I remember your daughter is about 1? At that age they have recently gotten mobile and it is developmentally appropriate to check out the world. That is what they are supposed to do. So checking out buttons on remotes would be considered ok. Where it becomes an obsession is if it become unusual in intensity or focus. It the 2 or 3 or older child still obsessed with remotes? Do they tantrum when you take it away. Do they continually go back to it?

I would dare say all people have some little autistic like quirks, but it is when it becomes disfunctional that it is autistic. Common, every mom in the world rocks thier new born baby to sleep. Rocking isn't just an autistic thing. Why are swings fun? Actually my autistic son refused to be rocked and would scream if I tried from a very early age. Small children may enjoy looking at lights go one and off or the fan go around, but if they insist on doing it and it becomes a behavior problem or they don't play with other toys, then it is a problem.

If she won't play with other things, consistently makes bee lines to the remote or continues on with this interest and doesn't move onto interest in other toys, then I would at least say, hmmmm something to keep an eye on. But as of right now it sounds typical.

Renee

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Registered: 07-23-2003
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 11:40am
That helps, thank you! Yes she is almost one (Friday) and the things you described such as going straight to it, getting very upset if it's taken away, or not playing with other toys, does not describe her at all. She is a very curious little girl (as she should be) and she doesn't intensely focus on one object for long periods of time. She plays with it for awhile until she's done "exploring" it, and then moves onto something else, another toy, etc.
I get so paranoid because she's at that age where signs typically "appear" so to speak, so now I'm watching like a hawk, and I should really sit back and let her be a toddler.
Thank you!

Amy

Mom to Daughter born 9/23/04

Mom to son born

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 12:28pm

Renee gave you some good advice. My two cents:

If you have to ask what an obsession is, I would venture an educated guess that your daughter does not have any! If she had an obsesion you would *know* about it. You would be planning to accomodate or avoid it so that you can get on with your daily plans.

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Avatar for googolplex
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Registered: 03-31-2003
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 12:39pm

I can only answer that from our point of view, from what our son did/does. He's a second-grader, and his obsession is Legos and Bionicles. Okay, so? What 2nd grade boy doesn't love Legos? Well, David has virtually no life outside of his Lego fantasy world. From what I can tell, he has very few thoughts that aren't somehow related to Legos. He has trouble getting to the dinner table, or to bed on time, because he HAS to build something. You can't just say, "No, you may not." He would be so traumatized if I took away his Legos, that he'd be unable to function at all. He doesn't ever want to do any after school activities or go anywhere on the weekend (except the Lego store, or the SF Exploratorium), and he never wants to go outside. He just wants to build Lego things and then play fantasy things with them.

It's hard to say really, when an interest crosses that line into obsession. I think when you, the parent, start to feel like you are a slave to it, then that is a big clue. If you can't walk into a room because of all the lined up toys (or because of the child who is banging her head on the wall because you *moved* her lined-up toys), then that is a clue. If no one in the family can have a conversation, because you are constantly interrupted by your child talking non-stop about remote controls, then that is a clue. If it's a beautiful day out, and all the other little kids are outside chasing butterflies, and your child is inside pushing buttons for the second hour in a row, that is a clue.

From what you say, I don't see a problem in your dd's interests. It sounds like she's pretty young (preschool?) but you don't say. Anyway, I hope that's somewhat helpful.

Evelyn, mom of David 7(AS) and Nathan 4

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Registered: 05-16-2003
Wed, 09-21-2005 - 2:37pm
As my developmental ped. described it to me, it's an issue if the child gets "stuck" on something. I know that may sound vague, but it made sense to me!