Preschool update. I want to cry!

Avatar for googolplex
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Preschool update. I want to cry!
4
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 6:43pm

When I was typing the message about Nathan hating preschool, he was at school. When I went to pick him up, the teacher told me that he had spit at the teacher and children, and that that was intolerable. Okay, well, it was more like blowing raspberries, and yes, that's pretty awful. They acted shocked and surprised that he GASP doesn't have a full grasp of social etiquette. Yes, it was inappropriate, but he was totally stressed out, and they were jerks about it. They suggested calling the director to see if he could get into one of the 3 year old classes, but not before going on about how he'll never make it in kindergarten because he doesn't even know his letters and numbers. Idiots! He knows his capital letters, most lowercase, AND not only knows his numbers, but can ADD!! I said that, as politely as I could, and the teacher was like, "Well, you wouldn't know it from the way he's been." I'm so angry!!

So, I called the director, and she said there is an opening in the 3 yo class, at another campus, which just happens to be where Nathan's friend (my best friend's daughter) goes. I suspected he might be negative about it even so, so I asked what my options are as far as getting him ready for school, in case the 3 yo class doesn't work out. She was a jerk about it too, and went on and on about how I need to enroll him in all these different things, like Library Story Time or Soccer. He HATES that stuff. I mean, it's not simply that he would prefer to stay home and play, but he REALLY HATES it. We went into the library once while they were doing Story Time, and not only did he not want to be there, but he insisted on dragging me out. It's not just a separation thing; he's okay when the babysitter comes; I think a lot of it is just being uncomfortable around other kids. But isn't that what preschool is for??????? I said that it was my understanding that most school districts have some kind of program to help kids get ready for kindergarten, but she had no clue what I'm talking about.

I went to our school district website and typed in "preschool" and "early intervention" and got nothing. I read your reponse, Renee, about the special ed preschool (before all this), although I don't think we have such a thing. Besides, we don't have the money for fancy preschools, the parks and rec is about all we can afford at the moment. The only free program is for low income people, which isn't us. We're not low income, but most of our $$$ goes to pay the mortgage on our microscopic Bay Area townhouse. Gripe Gripe!!

So, I'm not sure what to do. I cheerfully told Nathan that they had a space for him at his friend's school, and that it's only two days a week instead of three, and he said, "I don't want to go to ANY preschool. EVER!"

I'm just so upset! I can't point to any specific things that I could say that would warrant some kind of intervention by the school district...they'll just tell me I have to enroll him in more of these programs he hates, so that he can get thrown out for being anti-social.

At least David is doing okay. Thank Goodness. And I don't have any hurricanes blowing my house down. And we've got health insurance.

Evelyn

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 7:19pm

Evelyn,

It's a long shot, but woudl you consider contacting the school district about an evaluation for Nathan, for social issues? The SD should cover kids 3-5 and it is in their best interests to ensure he can function in a school environment before K. I am thinking, that with David's DX, you could make a case for a special ed placement, which would likely have smaller classes in is own agegroup, a higher adult/child ratio, and much more sympathic staff.

I know he probably hasn't a DX, but it might be worth an educational classification for this year. I feel that taking him out of school altogether will mean a total disaster next year, and yet, his current placement is very far from ideal.

It's just a thought,

-Paula

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 9:12pm

Dear Evelyn,

Well, of course, my only child is not NT, but I have honest-to-God heard of other NT children who have trouble starting preschool and might stick out their tongue and not want to do circle time and story time. These teachers' outrage seems ridiculous and intolerant and awful to me! I would SO not want to continue my child under their tutelege. Maybe the 3 class has better, kinder, more REAL teachers? These sound like they don't know what they are doing, for sure.

Isn't this, like 4 days he's been there? This teacher goes on and on after only a few times about what YOU should be doing? How about what SHE should be doing to help, besides pointing fingers and making you feel horrible? Run screaming, yup, but look for alternative where your son can have better teachers. I don't blame him for not wanting to go back, he's got some sense there, he can maybe tell they are yips. But he might really LIKE a good set of teachers AND preschool if given another chance.

I do know that every once in awhile, there are just some bad teachers out there... been there, done that.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-23-2005 - 11:38pm

I was going to suggest the same. Get him evaluated and then at least you can find what is available. Actually that is how I figured it out. I was having Mike evaluated and they offered it as an option while he went through the evaluation process.

A lot of times they won't have that info easily available.

Good luck.

Renee

Photobucket
Avatar for cathby
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2003
Sat, 09-24-2005 - 8:23am

Hi Evelyn,

I agree with the others.

My friend has two boys, the older is autistic. The younger is just quirky. There is a def. social delay, a lot of it stems from the interactions with his older brother (e.g. trying to initiate play and being ignored). So the younger is in special ed pre-school (the bulked it up with lots of typicals just for him, way more than 1/2) and he's doing great!

And yes, there's plenty of crying that goes on in typical pre-school. But it doesn't sound like these teachers are very accomodating.

HTH,
Cathy