New here with a ? about copying behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
New here with a ? about copying behavior
2
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 7:00am
Hi,
I've been reading this board for about a month now. My almost 4 year old will likely be diagnosed with PDD-NOS shortly. Although I have come a long way I'm still have a pretty rough time with this and coming here reading all the different challenges and joys really does help. We never knew my ds had a problem until he started school this fall. He stuck out as extremely different from the other kids right away (whereas in home/parties/music class/playdates he never did - him being our first we didn't know what to look for).
One of the things that has come up recently is that he thinks its funny to copy undesirable behavior. DH accidently dropped a glass of water so ds looks at him, runs and gets a glass full of water, and drops it and says i did it too. This has happened a few times now - at home and school. I don't feel like I'm getting through to him by just talking about it, making him clean it up, and timeout. I don't know if he wants that attention, just thinks its funny or if it really is about him doing it too. I should mention that he does like to do everything "by myself". Does anyone have any suggestions/ thoughts?
Thanks,
Sonya.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Mon, 10-03-2005 - 8:16am

Dear Sonya,

Yup, possibly PDD behavior. Remember, if there is a PDD, your son does not pick up social cues. BUT he is copying behavior, could be worse! From copying, eventually comes learning. Time-outs likely won't help. He's still young enough for sippy cups? Preventing a new inappropriate behavior before it starts will probably work better at this point. Tell him you will give back the big boy cup when he stops spilling, use no anger, just matter of fact voice.

I would say it IS "I do it, too", esp. necause the event was interesting and got alot of attention, which gets through to PDD kids, KWIM? More charged events are more noticeable. Also, there IS a slapstick element to this activity, our kids LOVE slapstick! You want to somehow highlight (play up) the POSITIVE behavior you want, such as carrying a full cup of water WITHOUT spilling it, drinking it or pouring it down the drain, than LOTS of celebration and praise.

Good luck to you, maybe others here will have more concrete advice.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2004
Tue, 10-04-2005 - 6:51am
Hi Sara,
Thanks for responding. I will try to role play accidents and what the appropriate response should be. He's just so fast when there is a real accident. Before I know it, he's had his accident! He is also starting this new thing of touching EVERYTHING which isn't as much of a problem at home but is at school. His teacher is frusturated because there is no anticipating when he'll grab something and use it inappropriately. I have a fear of him being kicked out of school. On the positive side, his teacher said he's started to talk to other kids!
I look forward to gettting to know everyone and learning from you.
Sonya.