How do you deal with impulse control?
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How do you deal with impulse control?
| Thu, 03-23-2006 - 12:49pm |
Sam(AS, 6.75) likes to knock hats off of people's heads, sometimes my glasses off my face and other very annoying sometimes hurtful things (like bopping people with his lunchbox.) Sometimes it's during rough play or a disaggreement. But often it's out of nowhere.
We talk about keeping our hands to ourselves, personal space, have social story about that one.....but with impulse contral part of the problem I'm not sure I can really do much until he matures in that area more.
How do you handle this with your kids? Have any ideas that have helped for specific situations...etc? Sometimes I feel like I've talked the subject to death since we've been dealing with some of these things for years and years now.
Chrystee


Chrystee,
Sometimes demonstrating your point in a controlled and loving way is the best way to drive it home. After I discovered Peter had pulled out half the whiskers on our kitten's face, I took him aside, and then quite deliverately pulled a hair out of his head. Of course it hurt. Peter said "Ow!", gave me a Hurt Look and rubbed his head. Then I asked him to imagine how much more it would hurt if he was younger and the hair was much, much bigger and on his face, I explained that he had hurt George that way; -not just once, but many times. He got the point. I had tried explaining and trying to have him imagine, but until I actually demonstrated, it was all useless.
I don't know if you can contrive a situation where you can put Sam on the receiving end of his own kind of prank, or do something to him, which he would find similarly irritating, so he can see firsthand what it is like to be on the receiving end of these kind of pranks. Do it with no forewarning, but in a place and at a time where you can have a good old chat about it afterwards, because it can't be a "react in anger tit-for-tat", type of thing. It have to be thought through, planned and executed carefully and with love.
My 2¢. Others may have different ideas.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Teresa
We found, for David, that all the different behavioral modification techniques, positive discipline, negative discipline...you name it...was completely useless until he was put on a medication that helped him have the *ability* to control his impulses. I'm not saying that's the situation with Sam, but it was for us. Before David went on Trileptal, he would do all kinds of weird, inappropriate things. He'd suddenly start laughing, and grab the end of the toilet paper and run around the house with it. That kind of stuff, and much worse. The usual discipline things (reward charts, time outs, etc.) were a joke. Not just that, but they reminded him that he couldn't live up to my expectations, even if I made it as positive as I could, so it often made things worse. I know this isn't the case for most kids, but if you get to a point where NOTHING is working, you may want to consider the idea that he is not *able* to control himself. I spent WAY too long wondering what I was doing wrong, and I wish I'd known earlier that he wasn't just being defiant or stubborn.
Just my 2 cents.
Evelyn