Be brave, and for the benefit of the child don't keep your mouth shut.
Nothing shows greater improvement than early intervention.
Tell them, what can they lose if they have the child evaluated per the doctors recomendation. Best case scenario you know for sure the child is a-ok and developing normally. Worst case scenario - you get an early start on intervention and helping a child who may have some challenges since early intervention in all cases is shown to have the greatest improvement.
What happens if you don't get the eval? Well either the child is fine and things turn out ok, or you wait until things are really wrong and then spend the rest of your life kicking yourself for not getting intervention sooner.
Tell them the story of Mike if you like. I am ok with that. Story of denial of not wanting to admit my son had the same challenges as his sister. The story of how now a child with a 120 IQ is in a special education class with a 1:1 aide, can barely handle a mainstream class, is just starting to be able to do some typical kid activities with lots of support because his mom was too stupid to admit to what the trouble was when he could get early intervention.
Don't keep your mouth shut because that is what the other mom's want to hear. Those kids best chance is now.
I think you responded perfectly in the situation and shouldn't feel bad. It is hard for parents with typical children or parents who don't know yet that their child is special to accept what you are saying but it is neccessary.
You are right to point out red flags if you see them. The mom then has the choice to act or not. However if you don't call it, it becomes your choice, and that isn't fair on the child.
I don't think you did anything wrong, either. My feeling about message boards is that anytime someone posts on one, they have the option of either agreeing with any responses they get, or politely ignoring a response they don't like. I personally like it when others are honest with me. I try not to be offended, but to just take any advice with a grain of salt. As someone else said already, early intervention is so important. I think that you did that mother a favor. Hopefully, her child won't have any serious issues, but I don't see anything wrong with her getting a second opinion--just in case. Anyway, I applaud you for pointing out to that mom what could be a "red-flag". I hope that someone would do the same for me.
Amy~mom to Natalie (9 yrs.) and Lily (3.5 yrs, hypotonia, pdd-nos, neuropathy, multiple food allergies, my little mystery girl)
(((HUGS)))......I totally agree with everyone......you did the right thing. When son was 4 and at his first preschool, his teacher told me that she thought he was developmentally delayed (right before he was kicked out of that school).....I thought she was insane.....he was (is) soooo intelligent, how could he be delayed?! But I did have him evaluated. Unfortunately I did it through the school and they did not come up with anything and son continued to get worse. I SHOULD have followed up with his pediatrician......but I didn't until 3 years later......we'll never get those 3 years back.....
I think your issue with the whole deal is the same as mine:
It's not with the original poster. It's with all the other moms of NTS who don't know what they are talking about and who live in a happy little bubble of perceived perfection. They don't want their world tainted with this special needs stuff. It's too close to home. If it happens to one of the group peers, it could happen to them. So they discourage this woman from seeking answers. Don't bring the truth home. It could happen here.
You know better, and so does the psychologist, but they can't allow you guys to lower the tone around there -introduce *negativity* -God forbid, by speaking the truth.
No reality please: We're NT! So they all stick their fingers in their ears: "La La La La La La La La. We can't HEAR you!!!!" And many voices drown out two... It's sickening.
I know: Why don't we all go over there and teach them a lesson?
Pages
Be brave, and for the benefit of the child don't keep your mouth shut.
Nothing shows greater improvement than early intervention.
Tell them, what can they lose if they have the child evaluated per the doctors recomendation. Best case scenario you know for sure the child is a-ok and developing normally. Worst case scenario - you get an early start on intervention and helping a child who may have some challenges since early intervention in all cases is shown to have the greatest improvement.
What happens if you don't get the eval? Well either the child is fine and things turn out ok, or you wait until things are really wrong and then spend the rest of your life kicking yourself for not getting intervention sooner.
Tell them the story of Mike if you like. I am ok with that. Story of denial of not wanting to admit my son had the same challenges as his sister. The story of how now a child with a 120 IQ is in a special education class with a 1:1 aide, can barely handle a mainstream class, is just starting to be able to do some typical kid activities with lots of support because his mom was too stupid to admit to what the trouble was when he could get early intervention.
Don't keep your mouth shut because that is what the other mom's want to hear. Those kids best chance is now.
I think you responded perfectly in the situation and shouldn't feel bad. It is hard for parents with typical children or parents who don't know yet that their child is special to accept what you are saying but it is neccessary.
Renee
Honey, you did the right thing.
You are right to point out red flags if you see them. The mom then has the choice to act or not. However if you don't call it, it becomes your choice, and that isn't fair on the child.
Boy, that was heavy!
So, how about them Knicks?
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Tina, I think you did the right thing.
I don't think you did anything wrong, either. My feeling about message boards is that anytime someone posts on one, they have the option of either agreeing with any responses they get, or politely ignoring a response they don't like. I personally like it when others are honest with me. I try not to be offended, but to just take any advice with a grain of salt. As someone else said already, early intervention is so important. I think that you did that mother a favor. Hopefully, her child won't have any serious issues, but I don't see anything wrong with her getting a second opinion--just in case. Anyway, I applaud you for pointing out to that mom what could be a "red-flag". I hope that someone would do the same for me.
Amy~mom to Natalie (9 yrs.) and Lily (3.5 yrs, hypotonia, pdd-nos, neuropathy, multiple food allergies, my little mystery girl)
delete
Edited 2/19/2008 9:33 pm ET by littleroses
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So I should be gettig the kids in the car to take Bobby to speech but I am still simmering over this whole thing.
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(((HUGS)))......I totally agree with everyone......you did the right thing. When son was 4 and at his first preschool, his teacher told me that she thought he was developmentally delayed (right before he was kicked out of that school).....I thought she was insane.....he was (is) soooo intelligent, how could he be delayed?! But I did have him evaluated. Unfortunately I did it through the school and they did not come up with anything and son continued to get worse. I SHOULD have followed up with his pediatrician......but I didn't until 3 years later......we'll never get those 3 years back.....
Christie
I think your issue with the whole deal is the same as mine:
It's not with the original poster. It's with all the other moms of NTS who don't know what they are talking about and who live in a happy little bubble of perceived perfection. They don't want their world tainted with this special needs stuff. It's too close to home. If it happens to one of the group peers, it could happen to them. So they discourage this woman from seeking answers. Don't bring the truth home. It could happen here.
You know better, and so does the psychologist, but they can't allow you guys to lower the tone around there -introduce *negativity* -God forbid, by speaking the truth.
No reality please: We're NT! So they all stick their fingers in their ears: "La La La La La La La La. We can't HEAR you!!!!" And many voices drown out two... It's sickening.
I know: Why don't we all go over there and teach them a lesson?
Just kidding!
...maybe ;)
-Paula
(who's with me?)
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Count me in. If you want us, we will come.
Renee
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