DS not PDD/AS, but fears strangers/adult
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DS not PDD/AS, but fears strangers/adult
| Fri, 04-07-2006 - 3:09am |
Hello, I am a long time lurker/poster because I have an adopted brother (going on 10) with Asperger's.

Hi Melanie,
I would try a rewards system: maybe a sticker chart or tokens; such as pennies, pokemon cards, marbles, whatever he is interested in. I woudl prepare him in advance. For example; I might plan the greenhoues trip by saying "We are going to the greenhouse. and we may meet some new grownups. "If a new grownup talks to you, you should..." I would start with a real simple one: "smile". That works for about everything and doesn't require him to formulate a correct verbal response on demand, which may be the issue he is having. "If you so this, instead of blowing raspberries you get -x-."
He may need some prompting, -the raspberry blowing is probably a defense mechanism. But it you make the rewards pretty generous and frequent at first, you can whittle it down over time, to one reward for two instances of appropriate behaviour, then one for five, ..smaller rewards etc etc.
The idea is to offer the correct behavior and immediately reinforce it when it happens.
Once he has smiling down, you may want to work on more specific responses; one at a time: "If someone asks your name, you smile and say "Vincent"". "If someone asks how old you are, you smile and tell them "4". Keep the smile as a constant; -it always works, and build on it on a response-by-response basis. It sound laborious, and it is a little, but using little building blocks will help him to internalize, and take some of the pressure off him. Also, once he starts to get the hang of it, the process will go faster with each additional case.
Lots of praise and comments on what a 'big boy' he is, will go a long way too, and when people start to respond positively to him, which they almost always will to a smiling kid; you have additional reinforcement built right in.
I hope this help (I hope it *works*! -let me know.)
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Good ideas paula.
I was thinking a social story and giving him another response rather than rasperries, lol.
You want to be careful to teach him politeness but not neccessarily to be nice to all strangers. Having a healthy fear of people you don't know is not a bad thing for a child. However, if it is to the point of not being able to go places, then it should be addressed.
Perhaps, something like when mom is with you it is ok if a stranger says hi. You don't have to have a long conversation but the polite thing to do is say hi back. Or you can even give him a phrase like "I'd rather not talk right now" instead of rasperries.
The other day a mom of another autistic boy at our school stopped me in the hall. She knows Mike and was in the library with her son's class when Mike was there. Mike's aide wasn't and he was having a hard time finding a book and a teacher asked this mom to help. She was a bit nervous at what response she would get, but she went and asked him and Mike said "I really want you to go away right now". This mom understood. She wasn't unnerved by his rudeness but knows he has a very hard time with new people and was using his words appropriately. She had to stop adn tell me because she was proud of him.
I would say exposure and preparation are likely the best. Go to grocery stores when they will likely be more empty. Even give him headphones to listen to or a game to play so other adults won't be so inclined to talk to him. Prepare him for how he will respond when you are there and reward him like Paula says for doing it.
Renee
Renee,
Good point on the stranger thing. Of course you should teach him a diferent response for when you are not there.
I was herartened to hear that Mom was proud of Mike. I am too! He handled that situation very well.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com