We've moved - update

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Registered: 03-27-2003
We've moved - update
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Tue, 04-11-2006 - 11:11am

Yes, I feel a bit frazzled. So does everyone else I'm sure. Sam (AS, nearly 7) is all in a tizzy at school and melting down alot at home. We've moved from the 3rd floor to the 1st floor. Sam was able to choose his room colors...etc and was there to see the new place come together so it wasn't as big of a shock as moving to a whole new bldg....but still. He's completely stressed out at school right now too and his teacher complains everyday about something or other; I'm pretty tired of her and the school right now.

We were supposed to have the meeting to go over the FBA the last Fri in March, before moving day, but Sam hadn't been feeling well and got sent home the day before and didn't sleep well either so I kept him home and had to reschedule the meeting. Last week he was throwing rocks on the playground again at recess. This time at kids. He told me it was because another child was doing something he wasn't supposed to but it doesn't connect with him that he can't react like that. His impulse control is almost completely gone and he can't sit still at all, even at home. This weekend we had friends over and it was the first time that the mom saw Sam like this. He was rocking during dinner, flapping his hands, making noises....etc. I think she finally got how bad it can get.

I contacted an advocate. She suggested I get a copy of the FBA before the new meeting so I wrote that letter and got it in the mail. I'm curious to see what it'll say. Our neuropscyh eval is next week during spring break and the Dr. agreed that she will go observe Sam the during the weeks after the eval while she is writing the report out. I'm ready to move him to a different school all together, but I'm not sure that our city has anything better to offer in the public system. Part of the problem at recess is a lack of staff (only 3 people for the entire school!) They know I will not allow them to keep him inside everyday so they expect him to hold one of the monitor's hands!! Yeah right, totally unfair to him and not going to happen.

Also, Sam's teacher suggested during the first rock throwing incident that he be held back and that sending him to 2nd grade would be like "sending him to the dogs." She also wrote in the report for the neuropsych that he's well below grade level in reading/writing, which I already knew. Now she says that he has learned so much (which he has) and that his behavior is his biggest issue and that keeping him back won't do anything for that. She says she spoke to the teacher in the 1st grade inclusion class and she didn't think he'd benefit from staying back. So I'm getting the impression that noone wants him in their class (I can't say I blame them) But why would we pass him on if he's working below grade level when the current situation he's in now is causing him stress enough to act out in class to avoid having to read/write or do anything independently?!?!? Especially when 2 weeks ago she thought it was a bad idea? An extra year in 1st grade might give him more confidence and maturity. He's till mixing up b and d, some letter sounds and his formation of some letters in still very immature despite OT in the area all year and early reading intervention. I know that an LD might have something to do with this (can't wait for the neuropsych!!!) but I don't see how passing him on would help him at all.

Sigh....we all need spring break!

Chrystee

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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-11-2006 - 10:36pm

Chrystee,

(((HUGS)))) Hope all gets settled soon. Still, 1st floor is better than 3rd as far as ease goes.

You may want to look into different types of placements for him or an aide. He obviously isnt getting his needs met where he is and not sure another year of it will do the trick. With special ed kids like ours it isn't just a matter of needing more practice, they need things taught a different way. He is likely a bright guy and it isn't being taught in a way he can learn so some changes need to be made.

I am not saying a day class is the way you want to go, but when Mike was in 2nd we had to make some tough decisions and it was the best decision we ever made. He was getting harder and harder to manage in school in a typical class and it was because the typical class was just too stressful and overwhelming for him.

There may be some other options in your district as well. Some have specialized programs for ASD kids, there are some areas that have specialized schools, or perhaps even the support of an aide in a typical class.

Good luck. I am glad you have an advocate. That will help alot.

Renee

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Thu, 04-13-2006 - 12:13am

There are ASD classes in outr district, but they are for lower functioning kids which I don't think would be a good match for Sam. So far as I know, those are the only options other than Sped. inclusion. I'd love to find a Sped inclusion teacher who has experience with AS. With a knowledgible aide that could work out.

He's sooooo stressed out right now. Something needs to change for next year, because this isn't going to cut it at all

Chrystee

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Thu, 04-13-2006 - 3:09am

Dear Chrystee,

Well, I know everyone seems dead set against our bright kids being taught with lower functioning children, and Malcolm's recent school change we made specifically to try out him being with higher functioning children AFTER being with mostly lower functioning children for over a year. BUT the ASD school was much less stressful for Malcolm and he did learn lots. It's just that the academics moved so much slower than his eager brain and academic ability warrants, and his social skills seemed so far ahead as well.

It's such a tough balance. Right now, I almost want to send my son back to lower functioning school, so he can be happier, BUT we are going to try every thing we can do to help Malcolm be successful at higher challenge first. All the same, Malcolm is still in private special needs school with small class of only 10 students and several teachers, hardly a mainstream or even SPED inclusion room.

I do understand the theory behind inclusion and I know sometimes it's a great thing (?), but feel this can only help our kids if they are capable of maintaining decorum in the class, paying attention and doing assignments and learning, making friends and observing how other kids interact, so they can learn how to behave, etc. If they are too stressed out to function at all, what are they learning?

(((((hugs to you and Sam)))))

Sara

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Thu, 04-13-2006 - 11:40am

Sara

I so agree with you about the stress and working independently...etc. The ASD class I speak of is for nearly non verbal kiddos and Sam is so very outgoing and personable. I just think that in this class in his current school he'd lack the kind of social interaction he craves. He'd certainly be a great peer for these kids, but I'm not sure he'd get anything out of it. If another ASD class in another school in the district has different kids with different teachers I'd consider it (and check it out thoroughly of course!)

I really am starting to think a private placement is the best place for him since homeschooling just doesn't fit our family's needs. I'm frightened by the whole process of making this happen! I'd really just rather pull him out of public school and enroll him in a private one, but we can't afford that. I'm taking baby steps to figure this whole thing out so I don't completely shut down. I can't wait to get the neuropsych results!

Thanks for your words....they're always helpful!

Chrystee

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