Vaccine confusion and guilt

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Registered: 01-19-2005
Vaccine confusion and guilt
13
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 9:21pm

I hesitate to post this, but just need to get this out of my system. This is controversial and I don't want to upset anyone, but I just need support and to vent. I also need regular "dr. mom" advice and "asd mom advice."

About 2 weeks ago Eric had is 4 yr. check up. The booster for the MMR was on the agenda. I was ambivalent, and had decided to ask her to divide them up. DH went with us, I was hoping he could back me up if our ped had a problem. She did. We eventually caved, after first telling her we would postpone until we had thought it out. The reasons we gave in are several, there is the mumps problem going around now, although it seems in the midwest, still. Also, he had the others already. If the damage was done, it was done. We don't feel the vaccines "cause" autism per se, but we have seen evidence our son gets really sick whenever he has them. I think whatever genetic tendency for autism is there, gives him a weak immunology and environmental triggers, even something much less hostile than a vaccine, upsets his delicate balance. It doesn't "cause it" it just activates it or makes things worse, if that makes sense. I strongly felt this, but caved.

So, we go home DS seems ok. Not like with every other vaccine where he has had a fever and been SCARY SICK, if you know what I mean. He was relatively ok. But, he started drinking and peeing, and peeing, and peeing, and drinking etc. and this has gone on for two weeks. I gave him an epsom salt bath, he didn't want to get out. We've been doing this every night, which is ok, but I wonder if it is sign too. Now this week he has gone for 4 days w/o a bm. He's been "trying" and said he had to go. But nothing. Plus he's been sleeping much longer. Even gone back to afternoon naps! Although he seems energetic otherwise. Today he finally had a bm and it was a terrible struggle, poor baby. He kept asking me to help him. I felt so terrible. It's not due to his diet, he's drinking tons, lots of fiber. He's also taking his probiotics and digestive enzymes.

So my DH says he's convinced it's the vaccines. He's ready to go the DAN route,despite the cost. I am on the fence, though I am the "researcher" in the family and the "granola head" if you know what I mean. With DH this kind of came out of nowhere, it seems to me. And that puzzles me. I think he just empathizes with Eric so much and his pain with the bm thing, and decided we'd do whatever it takes, which is sweet.

We had previously (like 3 mos. ago) made an appt. with a pediatric GI bc of Eric's general, historic, bm problems. That appt. is this week. This doc says 1/3 of his practice is ASD kids (but he is not a DAN doc), so I am hoping he will be helpful then after seeing him, maybe we can make a decision.

But I feel so guilty about the stupid shots. In my heart I didn't want to do them. I wanted to space them out so he didn't get hit with all that junk at the same time. I should have pushed the ped. But at the same time, don't want him to get the mumps, or worse. I hate this stuff. On the other hand, Eric handled these better than when he was younger, perhaps bc he had all the vitamins supplements and was in great health prior to having the vaccines, which was not the case in the past before I knew.

Don't know what I am asking except, don't you all find all this stuff so confusing? It just seems like every area of the ASD puzzle requires so much parental brain power and determination. I feel like a failure so often and now I feel like some spineless wimp too.

Thanks for "listening".

Katherine

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Avatar for insideout418
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:17pm

(((((Katherine))))))


I don't have much to say, but it does sound like you need a few minutes on the mini-tramp tonight ;)


I'll be there for ya anytime you wanna vent.

Follow me
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 10:30pm

Katherine,

I do find it confusing and I don't know if I have made the right choices in the past.

I understand the husband thing. I think they just need to feel like they are doing something. Maybe it is knee jerk, maybe it is thier way of dealing with it. My Dh has done things like that too. Though he is supportive, I am the "granola head". For a while he was convinced Mike's problems were shot related and insisted Dave's shots be separated, now he won't even hear of it thinking there is no basis for the whole thermerisol thing.

I say don't beat yourself up. Most likely he was able to take it much better than in the past and this is just a little glitch. Plus he likely isn't due for anymore shots for a long time and hopefully by then we will know more about it.

OH, and I go whimp all the time. Don't beat yourself up on that either. If I didn't whimp I would have insisted on more testing when I was at the doctors office that one friday night, but I let him intimidate me.

UGH, the life of a mom. One day at a time.

Renee

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Registered: 02-20-2001
Sun, 04-23-2006 - 11:32pm
(((((Katherine)))))) Don't be so hard on yourself. I almost had to make that same decision last week when bobby went for his 4 yr checkup, but oddly enough they never mentioned any shots?!?! I am still confused by the whole thing.

 


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Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 9:41am

Hugs for all of you.

You may want to consider increasing his probiotics and maybe adding some vit. C and vit A. The vit C will help with the tiredness and the vit. A is good for the measals.

Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 12:05pm

We had the same issue with Liam's 6 yr old check up a few weeks ago.

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Avatar for littleroses
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Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 1:04pm

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Registered: 05-11-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 1:33pm

"It's so hard to know what the right thing to do is. You can't be faulted for what scientists don't even understand or agree on."


I totally agree!


June08siggy

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 2:18pm

Thank you everybody, you did make me feel better and I do need to focus more on the positives. I will try to increase the vit c and probiotic too, which may help.
As for my ped, at the checkup when I was questioning the shots, I did remind her of his reactions, but she had kind of forgotton and I think that for the worst one, her partner was the on one on call, not her. (Don't know anything about reporting issues.)

She did say to call her if he had a reaction this time, and she did tell me if he had a reaction it would probably be in 1-2 weeks after the shot, which it is now. I called and talked to the nurse, but I did tell them this is not like the other times (one time he even had febrile seizures.) This time it's more the digestive troubles and he just seems so tired and run-down, no fever, rash or anything. They just gave me tips for constipation, which I already know.

Anyway, it makes me feel better that you all have dealt with this too. You gals are great!

Love,
Katherine

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Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 2:47pm

Here's what I would do - make the appointment, get the tests done, and then you will know if you are barking up the right tree. IMHO its much easier to move on knowing rather than not. If this turns out to be a vaccine-related isssue, then you will be on the right track going to a DAN Dr. Being a parent, incharge of other little lives, is a HUGE stress, esp when there are issues like this involved. You have nothing to lose by going to at least find out if there's anything a DAN DR can do (except for $$)! In issues related to my kids' health, I have to say I have definitely become of the persuasion that "Its Only Money." Seriously, if we hadn't gone to find out what was really going on w/ our twins (7 yr old ID twins w/ PDD-NOS/mercury poisoning) and spend the 500$ or so on tests and visits, we would still be in the same, stagnant-but hoping-they'll-grow-out-of-it phase. Now we can actually treat the issues from the knowledge, undeniable evidence, from their lab tests. It is so freeing just to know what has been wrong all these yrs, and even if they don't fully recover, the improvements we have seen thus far thru treatments have been like a miracle.

Just my 2 cents... ;)

Hang in there, go w/ your gut.

Meg

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Registered: 04-01-2003
Mon, 04-24-2006 - 2:57pm

Ps -- If you haven't read these already I highly recommend:

"What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Children's Vaccinations" by Dr. Stephanie Cave (every parent shoud read this - she's a pediatrician who vaccinates, but on a different schedule than most peds)

and...

"Children With Starving Brains" by Dr. Jacquelyn McCandless (If you have a child w/ ASD, this book is sooooooo helpful - there are so many things you can do without even needing to see a Dr - in the way of diet, vitamins, etc)

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