temper tantrums?
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| Sat, 09-16-2006 - 6:01pm |
My 6 yo DS with AS has these temper tantrums that I thought he'd outgrown. Okay, so he has a 2yo sister. While they do interact, it's not constant (she always wants to be on me). He has taken to stomping his feet, talking back, and when he's really mad, screams "NEVER!" at you for whatever simple request you made. I swear, it's a meltdown a day. Or at least it seems like it. His med situation is in flux. By that I mean he's on 5 mg of Focalin and 2 mg of periactin 2x/day. The periactin is to boost his appetite (countering the focalin) and thus help him put on some weight so we can up the focalin to 10mg. He needs that as he starts to lose it in the afternoon at school. Turns out he's having disobedience issues and talking back there. I'm sure he's stomping his feet there too. So I guess the question is this: is this age appropriate/developmentally appropriate for a first grader with AS? Will this get better? Or (gods forbid) worse? And if this is what it's like now, puberty scares me. Thankfully that's a ways off yet.
Any BTDT experience? Assuming you can read through my ramble and make sense of what I'm getting at. DH isn't much help as he has little patience for that sort of stuff. I don't either, but I wonder about it and what's causing it. There has to be SOMETHING. Thoughts?
Jenni

Hi,
My son used to have major temper tantrums in school (he was then undiagnosed AS). He is 9 and we are still not out of the woods.
take care,
Anandhi
Jenni,
I think temper tantrums go with the territory. I think if he's only having one a day that's pretty good. My autistic son (age 10) has at least one temper tantrum a day unless he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do (read play w/ legos, on the computer or watch his favorite programs on tv all day)or interact with anyone. We use written schedules to help him through changes. We give lots of time warnings when we're going to move on to something new. We tell him before hand what the schedule will be. We also use lots of praise and deep hugs when he's having a hard time. We know others have used picture schedules and a timer to help the child feel more in control and understanding when the schedule will change. I try to make requests (put away your shoes, pick up your toys) when there is a point in the schedule that makes sense to do so. We have more tantrums when a request is unexpected or he's in the middle of something else. He can't just change what he's doing or think about something new on request so a tantrum is his way of dealing w/ the frustration of the situation.
If it makes you feel better, my NT 12 yr old still tantrums by shouting and stomping her feet-- we pretty much ignore her or tell her it's ugly-- this happens a couple times a week. But she said it does make her feel better to get it out this way-- she doesn't do it in public anymore (but did until she was in 2nd grade).
HTH!
Betsy
Thanks Betsy, that does help.
Today was particularly rough. The OT asked him to do something and he didn't want to so he tried to pinch and hit her. He did succeed in poking her in the eye. This morning, he tried to hit his grandmother because he wanted his gloves and gramma said he didn't need them and put them back in the house. I guess it was pretty ugly. But it's getting more and more like this. He doesn't want to do something or wants to do his own thing contrary to what you ask and he pitches the world's biggest stink and is starting to physically lash out. He did this when he was younger but we got it to stop. I don't understand why it's coming back. Is he just attention seeking? Is he seeking some sort of deep sensory input when he makes contact? I just don't know. All I can do is talk to him about it and that, well, doesn't get terribly far. He has no idea why he does it. He knows it's not nice, not a good thing to do. But the ADHD impulsivity prevents him from thinking first. In a way, I can't wait until we can up the Focalin. The hope is that it will help him stay calmer for longer. Maybe he would actually make it all the way through the school day. *sigh* But at least I know it's normal behavior to a degree. I'm just worried that it will escalate out of control and then what do we do?
Jenni
Jenni
proud Mom to Christopher and Kimberleigh
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Betsy!
I found the way to have them go without any temper tantrums. You send thier sibs away for a day and put no demands on them! Oh and get them a new lego to boot!
The other kids ended up at a sleepover at friends house. Mike didn't really want to go along. The kids stayed all the next day. Mike was in hog heaven, responsive, flexible, quiet, communicative with me if I approached him, etc. He got to spend money he got for being in the hospital and was still healing so had few demands. He was perfect. Now if only his life could be like that.
Unfortunately lots of BTDT advice. Too tired to write it all. was supposed to go to bed already.
I will tell you that I have been reading my text for class on the chapter on autism and it was really well written in some spots. One thing they really emphasize is how kids with ASD often have challenging behaviors because central to ASD is the innability to understand another's point of view.
For instance, this morning Dave was climbing down his bed the "wrong way" according to Mike. So Mike starts to yell at Dave (who doesn't listen) then starts to pull on Dave's foot and trying to bite him. When I asked him why he said that the rules is Dave has to climb down the other way (the way the bed was made) and he was afraid Dave would fall. When I explained to him that his pulling on Dave's foot could have made him fall he totally had no clue what so ever and felt really bad when I explained it to him. Also, Dave doesn't like to climb down the "rule" way because he did fall once that way and it scares him. Mike cannot get over the "rule" of how the bed was made and what is written on the head board.
Yes, it is very common for our kids to have meltdowns and behavior problems. Often we have to have specific behavior plans to help. Our kids have behavior problems for 3 main reasons I think
1. No perspective taking as mentioned earlier
2. Frustrations with communication (mike didnt know how to communicate why it bothered him until I asked the right questions)
3. Sensory overload. They just check out and get overwhelmed and can't stop.
Understanding the function and cause of the behavior as well as some interventions help alot.
Renee
I second Renee,
Often our kids freak out because of some (to us) very minor thing has happened: he is out of routine, or something got put in the wrong place at breakfast time, trying to put gloves on in the 'wrong" order, his hair feels 'all wrong'. Then he gets all upset, to the point where he cannot vocalise what the problem is, even if asked, and lashes out...
It happens here all the time.
We try to understand his triggers and minimise them. We try to structures things in a way that will work for him. If he does explode, we deal with it as quickly and efficiently as possible, but have found that that is not the time to addrewss what is appropriate and inappropriate behaviour. We do this when he is calm and receptive. Usually at bedtime. We might talk to him about something which happened that day, what he might have done to help himself, and what he might do differently next time.
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