Today, I realized something bad...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Today, I realized something bad...
10
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 10:50am

I hate my DD's teacher.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 11:00am

Paula,

That's a hard one. I'm sorry your dd has such a nasty teacher. The homework thing would really burn me up too. I think red markers should be outlawed!

I think the only thing you can do is try to win her over or find some little thing you can like her for. Kill her with kindness. Its going to be a horrible yr otherwise. I couldn't stand Kyle's teacher last yr. She was so fake. But near the end of the yr she had a really good idea to help Kyle transition to MS this yr and I liked her for that alone.

Sorry, this probably sounded like sucky advice :( I don't know what else to say though.
Samantha

Samantha
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Registered: 12-22-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 12:08pm

See! I KNEW WE WERE SISTERS! I've been trying very hard not to admit this exact same thing! I hate my DD's teacher too! I hate the fact that she's so by-the-book she has no clue how to adapt to our daughter's needs. I hate that she's as thin as a toothpick but "refuses" to allow junk food into her classroom. (Our DD did great last year when she was rewarded with small cans of soda.) I hate that she feels it's necessary to refer to herself as a "professional educator" - as if the rest of the teachers are amateurs???

But most of all, I hate that my daughter who did so flippin' amazing last year, is struggling big time this year.

Sorry, no advice...unless maybe we can get our hands on an ong? ;-)

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 1:17pm

First, I think you are just going to have to get over the badger hair and bad eyeliner. sorry.

Next, start really trying to in an objective manner to figure out whether or not this is an appropriate placement for Siobhan. Take a look at her behavior, her work, her progress. Is she making progress on her goals? Is she happy and doing well in school?

If she is having troubles, regressing in anyway, showing signs that this isn't the right placement then move her. If she is making progress, doing pretty well, happy, etc then moving her would likely do more harm then good and you are just gonna have to suck it up.

I would hate that teacher too but the main point before moving Siobhan is to determine how she is doing in the class and is it the right placement for her.

Then if it is you come here regularly and b--ch about badger head with bad eyeliner, get a good laugh and try your darndest while she is there.

Ohhhh, and naturally I know you are doing this anyway, you keep an extra close eye for any of those signs that Siobhan is struggling and this isn't the right placement and then promptly pull her. The aide is pretty useless. If Siobhan needs one and it is in her IEP then they will have to supply one in the new class and maybe they won't be useless.

Hope you don't mind my blunt honesty dear, it isn't anything you don't already know.

Renee

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Registered: 09-09-2005
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 2:30pm

Well, ahem as an ex-"professional educator" (lol, how up your own hole can you get).

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Avatar for teerose731
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Registered: 03-25-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 2:58pm
I agree with Renee's advice but was also wondering if there is someone above her ehad you can address these concerns with? Just a thought.

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Lilypie Baby Ticker

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 3:36pm

And here I was wondering where I was going to get the human sacrifice to pay the daemon I just hired to help us investigate the issue of that particular mising friend we were talking about elsewhere. Oh joy! Problem solved. ~evil grin~

~SG1_Niner

APOV on Autism

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Registered: 10-03-2004
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 4:04pm

Dearest Paula,

There can be a slight pleasure with killing a hated one with kindness and understanding. I never was able to get anywhere with the pop-tart psychologist, but I did try everything in my kindness arsenal, baby pictures of the cute boy, free fitness tips (she's into it), compliments, if I could have handled it, I would have invited her over to the house for a home visit to help her get a feel for Malcolm at home (wish I'd been more aggressive about that idea, but really in the long run ... sadly... it was the entire school environment, hard to fight against that).

Of course everyone else did give you good REAL advice. But there have been many times in my theatre life that I have HAD to work extended periods with people I hated and (even worse) completely did not respect and killing them with (fake ... ACTING!!!) kindness was a useful tool.

yours,

Sara
ilovemalcolm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 5:11pm

Hehehe


Thanks all for your replies.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Avatar for littleroses
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Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 7:54pm

My method is to write letters. I bore them into submission with notes. LOL Something as visually impactful as a negative to some ASD people can be very crushing. My dd is very visual and gets obsessed if anything is on her paper. Sometimes I use this to work in my favor. When she writes sentences and all the words shejamstogether like so, I was able to draw a (little) sad face in pencil and say, "Oh, these words don't have spaces! Let's give them spaces and they can be happy again!" She wants nothing more than to change that frown to a happy. Being in pencil isn't permanent and gives her a way have control to change it. However, if I were to just make it in bloody red permanent ink, it would be very disturbing to my dd and she would obsess over it. Luckily, no teachers have done that to her yet.

Have you thought about writing a note to the teacher to specifically address how much it's important to accentuate the positive in addition to pointing out the negative (in so many words)? I don't know how much she knows about ASD, but you could talk about your dd specifically. It's an interesting way she has of teaching there. Negative reinforcement should be used very sparingly, even it's something as seemingly benign as red ink. I do think it's good to call someone on their mistakes, but that is a burdensome way to learn to live ALL the time. Even when they play sports, they try not to get the kids to focus on their crappy plays or point out their fouls to everyone. They try to emphasize more practices.

She's probably a bit schizoid herself with that unreal perfectionist streak. I would consider at some point writing a note peppered with flattery (those stupid nonsensical socialities that work) and zing her with one concern at a time.

It's okay, you don't have to like her. Not at all. You can even have a bit of fun with her head if you wanted to. LOL

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
Wed, 09-20-2006 - 8:48pm

I so feel for you!

I don't know if I can say I hated Ian's kindergarden teacher, but I strongly disliked her. Every interaction I had with her left me angry and seething. But Ian liked her. I decided that as long as he was okay with her, my dislike of her was my own personal problem. Fortunately, she has left the school to persue teaching older children, thankfully not in any of the schools my kids will attend.

Kelly