I think it sounds good. I liked that you actualy suggested a solution instead of just stating the problem. The one thing I might change is combine the second and third sentence: I have spent a small amount of time on the kindergarten playground, and I am worried that there are not enough adults who are actually watching the children and willing to intervene when necessary.
I think it sounds good. I liked that you actualy suggested a solution instead of just stating the problem. The one thing I might change is combine the second and third sentence: I have spent a small amount of time on the kindergarten playground, and I am worried that there are not enough adults who are actually watching the children and willing to intervene when necessary.
Good Job
Samantha