Someone give the teacher a CLUE? Please
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| Fri, 09-22-2006 - 3:28pm |
I had half a mind to walk in this morning, take her by the little hand, and walk her down to the office so she could read my son's file. She obviously has not done so yet. I say this because of the email I got yesterday afternoon.
"HI--JOSH RECEIVED A BLUE SLIP FROM ME FOR NOT TURNING
IN HIS FAIR STORY ON FRIDAY. I CORRECTED THESE OVER
THE WEEKEND, AND THEY STARTED THEM IN CLASS ON FRIDAY.
SO TODAY I HANDED THEM BACK AND FOUND THAT JOSH'S
WASN'T IN THE PILE. THUS HE RECEIVED A BLUE SLIP AND
HAD TO START ALL OVER AGAIN! OTHER KIDS ARE DOING
THEIR FINAL COPY ON THE COMPUTER, AND HE IS FAR BEHIND
BECAUSE HE NEVER TURNED HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE. HE
WAS CARRYING HIS YELLOW FOLDER AROUND AND LEFT IF IN
MR. DAVIS'S ROOM, SO HAD TO BE CALLED BACK TO GET IT.
HE SEEMS VERY FORGETFUL AND DOESN'T COMPLETE SOME OF
HIS REQUIRED WORK FOR FIFTH GRADE. BS"
Ummm - hello. Didn't I TELL her this the first week of school? This makes his FOURTH incomplete/lost assignment - out of THIRTEEN days of school! First two were the first week for a missing social studies paper. Third was Tuesday for not doing his spelling homework - with a note on the bottom "I reminded him to bring his homework home Friday" (Monday was a no-school day). 4 blue slips means he'll miss out on the first marking period "incentive". 4 more and he serves detention.
Meeting with the principal Monday. Watched the secretary write it on his calendar (the last appt somehow got overlooked and he wasn't there when I went in.)
Now - I'm not laying the blame totally on the teacher. But I cannot be at Josh's school every day at dismissal to be sure that anything in his desk makes it into his folder...Folder into backpack, and backpack home (which has also been an issue - it usually gets forgotten in gramma's van). If they can get it home I can make sure it's done.
He's essentially grounded - lost electronics for the weekend, and he's missing out on the HS football game tonight (standing Fri night date with his Papa). Plus the lost field trip at school. Am I going about this entirely wrong? Rewards/consequences do not seem to work with him!

It sounds like they need some kind of a system in school to help keep Josh organized. Does he have an aide?
It might be IEP meeting time.
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
I wouldn't punish him for having executive dysfunction. He needs a plan in place at school to help him learn those skills. If rewards/consequences were going to work he would have learned the skills years ago.
Just my opinion. You know him best. I'm glad to hear you are meeting with the principal.
Samantha
THANK YOU! Everyone keeps saying "what's his punishment?" I don't think it's really JOSH that deserves the punishment - though he came up with both of those on his own.
It's definately IEP time. He needs and aide and/or a teacher with half an ounce of oh, what's the word...foresight. Sure she can say "Josh - do you have your spelling words?" He'll answer "Sure" - they're in his desk, aren't they? What she doesn't do is check his folder to make sure they're in there.
Just like when he gets to daycare - daycare asks "Do you have homework?" Well - if the words are still in the desk, then he'll say "No" because he obviously has no homework to do.
My child is not lazy, slow or stupid...He's taken to calling himself all 3, and I need to find out the source so I can do some serious backside-kicking.
I wouldn't punish him for his disability. You are right, the forgetfulness is part of his AS. He can no more remember his yellow folder or organize and turn in work without supports than I can drive with out contacts or glasses. I think you should rethink the punishment of grounding and the football game.
I think rather I would sit with him and start to work out what works for him to help remember things. Ask him what would help. Get him as part of the process and being responsible but not expecting him to do something he doesn't have the skills for. You wouldn't expect a child with hearing impairment to follow verbal directions unless they were told in sign, or in a visual manner. You can't expect a child with executive dysfunction to organize with out similar supports.
I hope the meeting with the principal goes well. We struggled with this throughout Cait's 5th grade year. It is still a struggle but slowly getting better. Here are some things we tried in 5th grade, some helped some didn't.
-RSP teacher went into classroom at end of day to make sure Cait had her folder and neccessary stuff.
-then RSP teacher went into class for the 5-10 minutes when homework was being assigned so she could make sure that Cait had it all written and put where it should be, still stopped in at the end of the day to check her backpack.
-I went in 1 time a week to clean out her desk and find all that hadn't been turned in.
-Cait wasn't marked off for late assignments but it was kept track of so we documented it was an area of need.
-The RSP teacher wasn't able to keep up with going to Cait's class 2 times a day and checking work, tried having Cait go to RSP room at end of day for that. This didn't work either. She was also falling behind in other things due to organizational difficulties.
-An eval for an 1:1 assistant was done and Cait was given a 1:1 for part of the day for the remainder of 5th. It was the end of the day when her attention was worse and also to help organize work, make sure stuff was turned in, etc.
Currently she has an aide in her program that is in the classroom with her and 2 other students with AS. This is what happens now (or is supposed to)
-aide goes to classes and keeps notes as well of all assignments, how to do work, etc.
-aide helps students in class as needed to stay on task or if they have questions.
-kids write assignments in thier planners.
-kids go to AS support room 1-2 periods per day.
-In the AS support class the aide and teacher are supposed to check the kids planners and make sure all thier assignments are written in and the students understand the work, work is modified as neccessary and kids start on thier assignments.
-the aide sometimes writes notes in the planner as well if Cait needs something or forgets to write something in.
-Cait has a binder system to organize her papers and such,
-I go through her binders with her at night and her planner to organize and make sure that she does everything that is in the planner.
This isn't perfect for Cait. The planner has too much visual info for her. But it is a start. Plus the school isn't always consistent about getting things in her planner or getting them in her planner in a way that makes sense to her. For instance "Lab report due" well if cait doesn't know what steps to do, that general direction is useless.
Renee
"My child is not lazy, slow or stupid...He's taken to calling himself all 3, and I need to find out the source so I can do some serious backside-kicking."
I must post here a poem Cait wrote last year.
Asperger's!!!!
You may think it's a disease.
It's actually not, it's a disability that is never at ease.
You can't see it, though it's not fake.
I work so hard, though I never get a break.
I never get a “Jail-Free” card.
Because it's way too hard.
One thing you need to know.
Is I'm not slow.
I just need time to grow.
~Caiti
Hi,
When I read your story it really hit home for me. Boy do I understand!! My DS is 11 yrs old with PDD and last year especially, his teacher had no clue! So much so that I pulled him out in January and homeschooled him. My ds forgot to have me sign his reading log...which was always blank anyway, so the teacher without warning kept him in from recess. She ignored my phone calls, refused to modify his homework and failed to inform me that his aide was leaving until the day she left. My son then went 2 wks without an aide at all! Ds has a speech and language disorder...the teacher expected him to memorize 2 full index cards for a skit the class was doing for parents and other classes. Hello.....is she kidding???? That's not even the worst of it. The teacher paired ds with a child that would tease him at recess. They wound up in a fight in the school yard.....why would she do such a thing?
Anyhow, he is now in 6th grade and I cannot say the teachers are competent! However, he has a wonderful aide who for the most part makes sure he has everything. I also provide what I call a communication book. It's a notebook that I use to write to the teachers or aide and ask questions etc. It is also something I expect them to use to let me know what homework/projects need to be done etc. Without this book I would be lost!
All I can say to add to the other posts is that my ds cannot remember anything he did during the day. He cannot explain things and is often completely frustrated by the time he gets home. Homework has always been an issue. At 4 pm when he gets home he is no longer able to focus and is tired from his day. I have to sit and literally do most of his homework with/for him. Some days he is able to sit others he is not. We too have tried consequences and it doesn't change because he cannot help it! I truly believe he is not able to get control of the situation. I no longer give him consequences for not being able to remember things or for not being able to do his homework. It has only set him up for failure and frustration.
I am seriously considering telling his teachers to not bother sending home assignments because he doesn't get anything out of them most days. There's an idea!
Josh is the sort where he'll read something and grasp it instantly. He can also name every Bionicle on sight - whether in the package or out on display. We were at the fair yesterday and one of the projects someone had submitted was an assembled Bionicle collection. We were ooh-ing and aah-ing over the size of it, then Josh says "It's not right". Asked what was wrong with it and he pointed to two of the figures and said "They have the wrong weapons - he switched them".
I guess I don't understand how kids can remember things like this (Bionicle weapons) and forget a BRIGHT YELLOW FOLDER that is supposed to go to every class. One of the quirks of AS that I have yet to comprehend.
FWIW - he did end up going to the game Friday night. TV's been off most of the weekend, but that's fairly normal anyway. So in a way his "grounding" was lifted.
Meeting with the principal in the morning. Wish me luck.
Kudos to Cait - I love it.
He's just recently started expressing emotions like this. I'm hoping the "slow/lazy/stupid" is not coming from school. Some days I wish I could just shadow him without anyone (including him) know I was there - just to get a better insight into his world.
The best thing in the world though is the semi-spontaneous "Love you Mom" at night when I tuck him in. He's saying it more and more frequently without being prompted. And it feels GOOD.