meeting with Principal and teacher fri.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
meeting with Principal and teacher fri.
2
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:07am

We are having a meeting for Hannah. She's been doing progressively worse minus yesterdays good afternoon (appartenly after a horrible morning). We really feel she is being misunderstood and mishandled by the teacher and aide. I think they don't see her as a child with Selective Mutism because at the begining of school she was doing great. She was speaking to the teachers and kids and raising her hand to ask questions and give answers in class. Then the school work picked up. Her perfectionism kicked in and the anxiety that goes with it and she started shutting down. I think they didn't understand the cause of the shut downs and treat her as being naughty. That just magnifies her anxiety & stress and she pulls away even more.

At home she's doing better. She has started to talk to us about her feelings about school. That's just huge for her. She told us she HAS to get a S+ and anything less is a bad grade. We understand this is just Hannah's mind set here. We don't think the teacher is making her feel that way. She saying things to us now like I can't do it right. I can't do it good enough. Before she'd just shut down and we wouldn't know why. She's also telling us things like Ms. Z took away my erasures and pencil grips and said I can have them back if I do my work. I didn't do my work, Mom.

so we are going to meet and try to get them to understand dd isn't being defiant, she needs help. And no she doesn't need less work (her teacher's offered) or more resource time. She needs counseling/play therapy. She needs teacher who understand where she's coming from so they don't unintentionally make the situation worse. I need them to understand yes she may talk at school but that doesn't mean she isn't SM and the interventions/accomidation still work. Hannah also wants a way to communicate with her teachers if she's feeling like she can't talk. I'm going to ask for pecs or something like it.

Send me good luck vibes. We don't think her teacher & aide are bad. We actually think they are really good and like them both. SM is just really hard for people to get. Dh & I still struggle with it sometimes. We really don't want to put the teacher on the defensive which I think is going to be hard to accomplish.
Samantha

Samantha
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 10:48am

Samantha,


I don't know if it is possible, or even appropriate, but my thought reading this would be for a neutral third party to be available to explain a little about Selective Mutism.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 09-27-2006 - 11:20am

I don't know of anyone outside of shcool who could talk to them. We haven't been able to find anyone to help us with her SM which has been hard. I may see if they will talk to her resource teacher from last yr. She really gets it. Thanks for the idea.

We've already given them lots of info. I sent them "Helping our teacher's understand selective mutism" and "when the words just won't come out, understanding selective mutsim" both from selectivemutism.org, and have put both of those in her perm. file. I also sent them an published article by a social worker "selective mutism and self regulation" and an article published in Time (I think) called "why Abbey won't talk". I've also sent links to frequently asked questions about SM and just today sent a newsletter all about working as a team with your childs teacher. It has some specific tips for teachers and IEP accomidations. I don't think there is anything left to send, lol. (I did space out all of the above so they wouldn't be overwhelmed)

Samantha

Samantha