Starting to have problems again
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| Thu, 10-05-2006 - 3:15pm |
And here we go again...
Haley has been having issues at school for the past couple of days... mostly in the lunch room. Today was a bad one apparently. I got a call from the counselor a bit ago. Apparently Haley and possibly a few other kids were ripping up napkins and the lunch ladies made them clean up the mess. Well Haley apparently got very upset and started the clawing at her arms, biting herself and such. This is how she expresses her anger she says. So she was brought to the counselor... very nice lady btw. She said that when she was talking to Haley and asked her who specifically she was angry with, she said the other kids that got her in trouble and was talking about eating them and using their bones as toothpicks. And the reason she is biting herself is because skin is meat and she needs to eat meat. I have NEVER heard her talk like that EVER!!!!! That sounds like something she probably heard on tv and if I find out where it came from, it will be the last time she ever watches it. I just can't imagine where she heard it though.
I just don't get it though. Everything was fine and now all the sudden it is like we are going right back to where we started! I am going up to the school next week to speak with the counselor in person. Her appt with her behavioral practitioner is next week as well (same day actually) and I will call her social worker tomorrow. Won't be able to reach her right now.
Now I need to cool my jets and get into a different frame of mind before Haley gets home in a half hour. I want her to tell me what happened and where those things came from that she said but I don't want to jump on her the second she steps off the bus. She may need a higher dose of her meds or possibly a different med. Not sure. Will have to talk that over with her practitioner. I wish I could call her right now but since she had a death in her family, I may not be able to get in touch with her til next week.


Sorry...I have no advice. But I'm sending lots of ((((((((((cyber hugs)))))))))) your way.
Amy
No point in getting hard on Haley. I know it is easy to say as I have BT too many times. I think having too many kids under one shelter is the one causing these kids to have sensory overload. Why don't you revisit her IEP and add a line so she can eat somewhere that is calm and can join the kids after lunch. Some piece of mind for you. I find that NT kids do such things but can keep up their cool when they are caught. Our kids just fall apart and then they start to think "right and wrong" and are hard on themselves.
hugs again,
Anandhi
Thank you both. I asked Haley what happened and she really doesn't want to tell me much more than I already know so I just let it go for now. I don't want to push right now.
That is a good idea about adding to her IEP that she eat somewhere more quiet. I will talk with Haley about it and set that in motion. As far as I can tell, the lunch room is the only place she is having these issues so that may be our best option.
Thank you again. *hugs*
Jill
Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
I agree with the advice you were given. I think Haley would benefit from having a more quiet place to eat. It sounds like she was overwhelmed with the situation and just didn't know how to respond to the questions that were asked. I know that Lily sometimes says what I consider to be bizarre things and I am really trying to not get freaked out about her comments. It's really hard though. I'm sending cyber hugs your way ((()))
Amy, Natalie and Lily's mom
If you figure something out, let me know! My son says similar things about "eating" people he doesn't like. I went to preschool with him yesterday and right before my eyes he BIT the teacher on the butt! I said, "Oh no! Don't bite!" And he replied, "I'm not biting. I'm eating her bottom!" I should have kept my mouth shut. He also wants to cut off body parts...his own...when he gets really out of sorts. I, personally, think it's terrifying. And I know he hasn't seen any of this on TV as I monitor closely what he watches.
BTW how were you all able to get behavioral analysts/counselors, etc. Is it paid by state or school district or OOP?
Lisa
I will definitely let you know if I find anything out. ;) It is scary to hear them talk like that.
Our counseling services are paid via military insurance. I am so grateful for that as we wouldn't be able to afford it on our own. She sees a social worker for basic therapy, a behavioral nurse practitioner for medication and diagnostics and then she also sees her school counselor each week as part of her IEP.
Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp
Thank you all so much. I'm talking things over with Haley about the lunch room thing and will be requesting a CSE meeting about it I'm sure. Although, apparently this is also becoming a problem in gym so there is apparently more to this than I thought... although it is the same kind of problem.
In gym and the lunch room, the class is graded on their behavior on a scale of 1 - 10. If a couple of kids act up, the class's grade goes down. Haley has a hard time with it because she is all about things being fair. If the class gets a low grade, she takes it very personally and if she was well behaved, she gets angry because in her mind, it isn't fair. We have been talking about this.
Yesterday was a better day for Haley. And I am actually a little impressed with her. She told me she had another angry episode in gym. Was minor but it still happened. The class got a 6 yesterday because some kids were not behaving (Haley wasn't one of those kids.). Anyway, she got angry about it. I have talked with her about that a few times now that these class grades have nothing to do with her personally so she shouldn't look at it that way.
Haley said she requested to go to the school counselor to talk about her angry episode. That impressed me a lot because that means she is recognizing when these things happen and that is SUCH a good thing!!! She recognizes when it happens and she recognizes that it isn't a normal reaction. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
One of the lessons the social worker talked to her about was dealing with anger that comes from not getting what you want. That sometimes it is best to just accept the answer, say ok and let it go for now. To come back later to talk about it if necessary. She had a good grasp on that but seems to have forgotten it so we will be revisiting that.
Now to just get this back under control. That's the hard part.
They have a four day weekend this weekend so that will give Haley a nice break. I'm hoping we can work on this a bit over the next few days and Wednesday will be another good day at school.
Mom to Erin (19) and Haley (10yo Asp