Hannah came home with bruises
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| Tue, 10-10-2006 - 7:26am |
I got another pathetic email telling me she had a bad day and nothing more. Then I was getting dd ready for ballett and I saw three fingerprint bruises on her thigh near her hiney. I asked her what happened and she said, "my teacher did it". Then I saw the other leg with bruises as well and one bruise on the inside of her knee has a fingernail gouge, the skin is broken (but not bleeding). I was horrified. Hannah wouldn't say anything else at that point. Dh & I talked to her, you know "we won't be mad at you, tell us so we can help," ect, ect. It wasn't till after ballett that I said if she tells me what happened I could consider homeschooling her. So she told me. It was the aide actually not the classroom teacher. She picked Hannah's chair up with her in it and carried her out of the room. I didn't get the story about what happned before or after. Dh & I are so upset. I was having a hard time breathing I was so angry and sad. This aide is a single mom of an autistic boy, btw. She's been with Hannah since 1st grade. We thought she was nice. We thought it was a good idea dd was with her again. Hannah thought she was her friend. We knew something was definately wrong at school since she's been having such a bad time this yr but I wouldn't have guessed they were hurting her physically. She's had other buises before on the backs of her arms. Hannah is not going to school today, obviously. I don't know if I'll ever feel safe sending her back. :(
Samantha

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OMG! Samantha I am so sorry. That is just NOT ok! What are you going to do after today? Will she talk more to a therapist or something?
I can just never understand how teachers can bruise a child. I always think back to the Mike bad year and the amazing thing is that only a very few times did he have bruises, they were usually caused by himself (body slamming into cement) and the teacher ALWAYS felt so horrible and filled out all kinds of reports and let me know. I think in all the restraints he had he has 1 scratch on his arm from a teacher and the teacher cut her nails that night short because she felt bad and didn't want it to happen again.
The only way that Hannah got bruises on her like that was because the aide was angry and she should have taken a break.
Renee
We got her to tell what happened on video tape and we took pictures. She said on tape they tried to get her out of her chair by tipping it and knocking her to the floor. I'm so proud of her. It was very hard for her to talk on video. Dh is going in there right now to raise hell with the principal. I might take her to the doctor today. I don't know what else we are going to do. We may try to find a lawyer. Its hard as resources are so slim in Iowa. She definately isn't going back to school for a while.
Samantha
Dh talked to the principal. He knew she "shut down" and was removed from the classroom. He didn't know how. They did this to her because she wouldn't do her worksheet and she tore it up. Can you believe that?! The principal siad he was calling the investigator. Not sure exactly what that means. He couldn't believe all the teacher said in her email to me was "Hannah had a bad day".
I called the Iowa Protection & Advocacy Services inc group and they red flagged our intake. An advoacte should call me back today.
I'm going to go snuggle her now.
Samantha
This is horrifying. I feel so angry and violated for Hannah and you. You've had some great advice on here. I would call as many authorities whose ear I could bend and I would talk with the police station. I'd at least want her name on record. That lady needs to lose her job at the very least.
I always feel incredible pain when something happens to my daughter and I know you are hurting too. Here are some things to think about that might help console you. First of all, you are setting a fantastic example for her. She was hurt and her trust betrayed, but by coming to her defense you have shown her that she can trust you, that she has rights and will teach her in the future that she does not have to endure this abuse. You showed her that not only you believe her, but you took her side and came to her defense like her champion. She may have had to endure the bad aide for a time, but she will forever remember how it was handled so you are doing a great job.
I hope that lady is shaking in her boots. I wanted to say something not as clean having to do with bricks, but that is the g-rated version. Now hopefully she will know what it's like to feel intimidated, fear and anxiety from someone who has power over you.
I'm sorry this happened to Hannah, but how you are dealing with this will help her to overcome it.
Oh, Samantha. I am so sorry. Snuggling Hannah is good for both of you.
You are doing all the right things. I would take her to the doctor too, and get him/her to write a letter giving their opinion on how the bruises were created. It's good you took photos and video.
I agree with everyone here. My experience has been more like Renee's, whenever the slightest thing has happened the teacher would call me right away. In our case it was usually Eric doing something to himself also, or an incident with another child. Not the teacher or aide. I cannot imagine how you all must feel.
Sending your whole family lots of hugs. Keep the pressure up on the school and the powers that be. No child deserves that kind of treatment.
Katherine
The bruises on Malcolm's arm from the four-point restraint that was practised on him by the school we just pulled him from were huge, deep and dark, covering all of the backs of his upper arms. I understand where you are coming from. We also took photos. In our case, we basically ended up using the photos as fodder in getting them to drop their reports of our son as "violent and dangerous", which he only is when under four-point restraint! But I am not throwing those photos away.
Homeschooling rocks, gotta say. We are looking into other schools for the future, but a happy child who loves to learn has returned to our household and we are not returning him to any school until they can prove to us in advance that they will teach our son appropriately.
My problem is that the school we just pulled him from had made all kinds of promises in advance, so how do you know?
Anyways, (((((hugs)))) to both of you. Sadly, I feel the aide may not only be at fault here, esp. as you have good prior experience with her. The classroom teacher may not be creating a supportive learning environment for Hannah, where the aide feels compelled to try to get Hannah to comply to keep her job, capesh? Unsupported people panic when everything feels out of control. Me thinks the entire picture needs to be looked at here, at least that was certainly true in our case. But in our case, the more we looked, the more we realized that the entire school was the problem.
Sara
ilovemalcolm
Sara,
I agree, the classroom teacher has a big part in this too. If she goes back to school it would definately be in a different classroom.
Hannah's bruises aren't as big as Malcolm's. Your poor boy. Dh isn't sure about taking her to the doctor now. What do you think?
Samantha
Just my 2c.
How awful! Samantha...(((HUGS)))
I have no advice but I just wanted to send support your way in the form of a cyberhug.....good luck with this terrible situation.
take care,
Christie
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