Different Kind of Kid and Update

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Different Kind of Kid and Update
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Tue, 03-27-2007 - 12:25am

You see all these kids at playgrounds, pools, parks running around and having fun, and mine likes to as well, but she is a different kind of kid. It is relieving to get a diangosis, but it still makes things difficult. She was always afraid of swimming, playground equipment and the like, but she tries and really wants to be like other kids, but she struggles. She says she can't wait to go swimming, yet holds on to me and the wall even though she is way bigger than the water. She would go on some playground equipment, but not everything. Just yesterday we went to a kids event and they had those moon walk bouncy things and a bouncy slide where you go up kind of high and slide down. She wanted to go on it like the other kids, but I had my doubts. I didn't tell her that of course. In the line, which was kind of long, she kept telling me she has to "pee" and she keeps grabbing her crouch, but I know from experience, it is just anxiety. The more anxious she is, the more she does that and it is embarrassing. We get to the slide and it is her turn. She starts up the slide fine, but then panics and starts down. She has tears in her eyes. Kids are waiting at the bottom as she tries again. She is almost up when she panics, but because of sue happy people, the attendents supervisor, but are not allowed to help it. She was almost up. She tries again. I explain to the attendants her problem and that she wants to try, but when she really starts shaking, the supervisor sees and tries to get her down, but she goes back up again until I call for her. I felt like crying. I feel so bad for her. She wants to be like others, but her anxieties are too strong and they aren't even allowed to touch her or help her :( Hopefully one day she'll just enjoy herself and stop worrying.

She worries over lots of stuff and that's why she struggles with schoolwork. The neurologist has her on Risperdal and so far it isn't helping so I think she'll increase her meds. All this and I just found out I am diabetic and we are trying to get extra insurance for DD. I am going crazy sometimes.

Sorry, just had to get this all out.

Debbie

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 12:52am

Debbie,

I am really sorry. It is so hard to have the different kid in situations like this. It isn't that we mind them being different or looking autistic. We just want them to have fun and enjoy being kids. To be comfortable in their skin and enjoy life a bit.

I think for me that is the hardest part of autism and what I would cure in a heart beat. Just to let them be friggen kids for once. Normal, happy, playing kids.

Ya know, I am not sure you have ever used your name before. I know you as Stephs mom, but it is nice to put a name with it.

Sorry it has been hard. I hope something helps soon.

Renee

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Tue, 03-27-2007 - 10:14am

Thanks so very much Rennee. So this is all part of Autism huh? It has beenn going on for awhile and now it seems to be getting worse. She has these fear cycles; sometimes she isn't as fearful and other times, terribly so, like now. We were helping a neighbor open doors because her hands were full and Stephanie panicked at the last minute and almost shut the door on this woman's face. She was on a top step and I guess she got scared she was going to fall being up so high. We came up a basement step and near the top, she panicked again and felt she couldn't finish.

I know what you mean, it would be nice if they would enjoy and just be kids. I fear if she was in public school she would be ridiculed. That is not why we homeschool, but if she was in PS, that might happen. Has that happened to your child(ren)?

Thanks so much. I have to call the neurologist soon about this, she'll probably increase her meds.

Debbie

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 12:34pm

Well there have been moments where they have been teased but it is not frequent at all. We are fortunate to have had very supportive schools that do not stand for that at all. They are also big into teaching the other students about differences. This has helped. Mike does not get ridiculed at school at all anymore. The closest was a concerned little girl asking me why he yells and sometimes they ask why he has an aide.

The last time I really remember this happening was in 2nd grade and those girls spent a weeks worth of recess in the resource room helping the teacher.

There is a little boy in Emily's class that does get alot of this ridicule. However, as far as I can tell the boy has no IEP or supports. The students have no resources to learn about if he is indeed different (I think so but that is only a drive by diagnosis, KWIM?) AND the boy eggs it on as well. It is sad but he has learned to tease, be mean to the kids, lie, sneak, etc in order to get attention. He drives me batty as well and I am an understanding adult.

I do have to watch Cait in middle school. There have been moments but Cait has learned to inform me of those and I bring it directly to the school and it is dealt with. Most of the time a talk with the kids works or some consequence. Some kids are just mean regardless.

Renee

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Wed, 03-28-2007 - 12:52am

from one Debbie to another, I'm with

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Wed, 03-28-2007 - 7:45am

Hi Debbie,


Sorry your DD has been having such a hard time.

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Wed, 03-28-2007 - 8:36am

That's great Renee that he has a very supportive school, boy, does that make a difference. It is good too, as I learned by watching Larry King's show on autism, that the more you explain to the other kids about autism and all that goes with it, maybe the better the kids will respond and want to help their classmate.

Take care.

Debbie

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie
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Wed, 03-28-2007 - 8:53am

We're in this together huh Debbie? I'm glad your son was normal most of the time. That is a big relief huh?

I'm glad you have things to do and relax you. I think we all here need that. I relax by getting on the computer or get out by myself.

LOL about the mental hospital being three blocks away. Ours is 4 LOL.

Debbie T

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie
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Wed, 03-28-2007 - 9:18am

Thanks so much Pam. I wish it were easier too. She is a pretty happy relaxed kid at home; it seems to get worse when we go out even though she likes going out. I give her an A++ for trying. Yesterday we took a walk and I looked over and she was bawling. She said she lost a pine cone she picked up. She is very sensitive.

That's great he loves baths now and even took a shower. She likes the water, yet she fusses too. She'll find something everytime to get anxious about.

Yes, I like your idea of tiny steps and social stories. Thanks again.

Debbie

Debbie, Mom to my "only" Stephanie