I'm stressing a bit here with Stanford.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
I'm stressing a bit here with Stanford.
Tue, 03-27-2007 - 2:36am

I got the paperwork from Stanford that asks me questions regarding Chris. I have had the paperwork but have avoided it for days. I have avoided the forms the school has given me also. It makes me nervous as I don't want to answer the wrong thing.

With my last experience I have felt a bit paranoid. The doc said Traits... but I don't agree cuz we have so much stress in our life.

Today I picked up (from the downstair's table), and moved Christopher's Yu-Gi-Oh cards to his room. He came home and had a melt down, saying he needs everything the same, insisting it has to be the same. Yelling in my face it has to be the same and I moved these things and he can't find them now.

I told them they were in his room and suggested he lock them up or put them away so his little bro doesn't get into them (which he has the same passion for these cards).

But his meltdown made me realize what he was doing. Heck he will set out army men in a certain way, and I will wait a few days before picking it up because I am afraid he's going to freak out that something has changed....

Anyway... I started the paperwork with Stanford.... some of the questions ask about when he was 4-5 yrs old. Hell he is about to turn 11 in a few days, I really can't stinking remeber. I really can't.

Some things I can answer about echolia, and perservering on topics like tv stuff and such, ect....

I want to remember all of these details with him, but I don't sad to say. I have been journaling lately, but that doesn't mean I will remember everything....

But the only thing I remember when he was between the age of 4-5 (stanford questioneer asks this with the age thing) was his EXTREME problems with changes with me having a baby, and us moving 3 times in 8 months.. That seemed to dominate everthing, besides my DD also have problems with her changes, and she had problems, herself and she decided to attach herself with gang members and claiming a color!!! So I had to deal with two children who were having major problems, not just one.

I was trying to save my dd who was becoming wild and out of control, and who lost her virginity at a very young age (that killed me, as I wanted her to at least feel love the first time she decided to do this, but she didn't), I was trying to deal with both kids.... and deal with both of their problems at the same time.... It was not easy.

I found a therapist for her, but unfortantly the therapist wasn't on her side, she was on my side, and I didn' want that, I wanted a therapist on my dd's side, with my input.

Anyway....

My youngest was a very calm and easy going child when he was a baby (alot like Chris when he was a baby) so it was easy to deal with him. Now since he shows signs of Tourettes it's not so easy as he has many impulse control problems.

Now my dd's wonderful. She just turned 20 the other day! But I still have these problems with Chris and I'm so afraid I'm going to answer things wrong on this test....

I don't know what to do...

I hope I made sense in all of this, as I rambled, and am stressing out a bit. I have to wonder if my Lexapro is working at this point...

Lainie