Baby Elephants

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Baby Elephants
2
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 12:47am

By Candes

(This was a story Candes wrote a Lonnnnngggggggg while back and sent to me. For those who don't get our elephant remarks, this is where it started)

I have baby elephants living in my house. It’s actually very interesting because, you see, they are invisible.

Well, in that case maybe you don’t see. I don’t see them, but I do see the evidence of their existence on a regular basis. It’s in the broken vases, the overturned houseplants, and small gouges taken out of the walls. I see it in the large prints left on my rugs and the way my smaller tables are left toppled over on their sides when my back is turned.

I’ve also come to the conclusion that these invisible baby elephants have an obsession with my children’s beds. Every morning I go into their rooms to find the beds stripped of their linens and the mattresses left sitting slightly ajar on their frames. My three sweet, obedient daughters have no idea when this happens. Virginia, my ten-year-old astrophysicist in training, theorizes that these adolescent pachyderms have developed an ability to create sub-localized warp fields that allow them to not only move around undetected but do so at sixteen times the speed of light.

No one believes me about the elephants except my best friend, Renee. She has no choice but to believe. She has them living in her house too. In fact, Renee’s elephants might not be babies anymore.

We came to this conclusion after this last rainy season set in and she found that stress cracks had somehow developed in the foundation of her house. These were, of course, discovered when her living room suddenly started to flood and no outside source of water could be found. Renee and her husband pulled up the carpet to find fractures in concrete that we are convinced only could have been caused by large animals normally indigenous to the southern hemisphere.

Someday we’re going to get indisputable proof of the existence of our abnormal house pets. Until then, however, we are stuck with just following behind the devastation they produce with the superglue in one hand and bleach in the other. Someday though…

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 3:13am

I love this story, and I love my "White Elephants"

I can relate. So can we all.

Thanks for sharing :)

Lainie

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: rbear4
Fri, 04-13-2007 - 5:26pm

ROFLMAO!


I love it.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com