Kind of OT - keeping him back in 2nd

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Kind of OT - keeping him back in 2nd
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Wed, 04-25-2007 - 2:14pm

Sam's teacher is suggesting that we keep him back in 2nd grade. The suggestion was also made last year, but I rejected it as 1st grade was just awful and I didn't think it was a good idea psychologically for Sam (though academically it probably would have been.)

He has always been a year behind in reading and struggles some with math. He has been dx'd with reading and math disabilities by a Neuropsychologist last spring. But his tutor last summer thought that it was more of develpmental thing and that he'd catch up. His current teacher thinks that as well though he does have dysgraphic and dyslexic tendencies that she acknowledges. He makes a full year's progress every year, it's just that he starts off the year a year behind in reading. (ie this year he started at an early 1st grade level, now he's at a late 1st grade/early 2nd grade level.) He doesn't have the automaticity yet to handle 3rd grade work and he's really just starting to be able to do 2nd grade math effectively and independently. His teacher knows that he will progress and feels that the year to catch up will help lower his frustration (his tolerance level isn't very high to begin with.) This year has been fairly good, but he is wiped out when he gets home and I fear that the increase difficulty level will keep building up year after year if he doesn't catch up at some point.

Right now he's in the small reading group in his integrated class room. If he stays back he'll be in the regular group so it'll be like grade 2.5 instead of 2 or 3. There are no similar placements for 3rd grade in our district. Integrated classrooms stop at 2nd unless you're talking about an ED or behavior-type class. I know that isn't a reason to keep him back, but it's still in the back of my mind.

I have a meeting with an advocacy consultant and education consultant at a local autism agency to get their opinions since they work with schools outside of my district and know more about what other options there are. I have a feeling I may need to look for out of district placement at some point (if not this year) or at least threaten it ;) I'm not sure which way to go on this. I think that he really would benefit from staying with her for another year and becoming more independent and confident. But at the same time, he's come so far since the beginning of the year. He seems ok with the idea since he'll be with the same teacher and he adores her - and she adores him back.

What do you think?

Chrystee

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Registered: 02-21-2006
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 3:28pm

Hi Chrystee:

IMHO, if he's not "grade" ready, now, he probably won't be in the next 2 months. If it were me, and you were pleased with the teacher's work ethic, competency, etc., and it really was more of an actual developmental thing (which it sounds like you agree it is), then I say take the extra year. His whole self-esteem can be affected by always being behind, and it might even be good if he's at or ahead of some of his new 2nd grade classmates, where he can have positive influential peer interactions because of his skill level (i use this at home: my aspie son (2nd grade) feels great when he helps his step-sister (1st grade) with homework - giving her tips or suggestions of how to solve a problem, or sound out a word (she's behind grade level, similar to how you describe your son). He really feels proud to be able to help her...). How old is your son? is he on the younger side in his class due to birth month?

My SD was NOT ready for 1st grade, but her parents put her there anyhow instead of having her take a public K class (she was in a private daycare K program before we moved); now they are talking about keeping her back in 1st. I totally agree that she should be (for similar reasons to those I stated above). SHe is at a beginner to mid 1st grade level and will be unable to meet her goals even at the start of second grade... Unfortunately, her parents will most likely put her in 2nd grade despite the difficulties she will undoubtedly face. My sd has an august 2nd b-day, so she was just six when they started school 3 weeks later... she will definitely be ready for 2nd grade if she repeats first...

I think staying back in the earlier grades is psychologically better tahn being held back in say 5th grade or so, when he's already established a solid friendship base (hopefully)...that would totally bum my son out if the whole 2 friends he made went on and he didn't, and would probably affect him well beyond the one stayed back year! Just my opinion, but it is a HUGE decision one way or the other. My son will be 9 in November, so he is late compared to other kids, but even so, if they told me that staying back would benefit him educationally, I'd really consider it (assuming I felt they were actually doing their job!).

G/L...

Nicole

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Registered: 05-16-2006
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 5:11pm

Hi Chrystee
Does he have an aide?
That could be a reason to push him through. It will be a battle but if he has made progress, why let him plateau instead of challenging him more.
Is the school supportive OR do you have to play hardball with them?

IF he can have an aide to help, I'd push ahead. Know that there are battle yet to be had, but he'll be getting challenged to grow.

It's a hard call.
Good Luck

Nora

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Wed, 04-25-2007 - 8:15pm

Nope, no aide. He doesn't really need a 1:1 right now just an extra hand in the classroom or something like a 3:1. There really are no paras to go around in our district - it's a poor one. I know not supposedly an excuse, but they're really stuck between a rock and a hard place here. If I thought he needed a 1:1, I'd be fighting for that. They're reserved for kids who are physically unable to care for themselves independently (feeding tubes, blind, severely autistic - this has been told to me several times by two different people employed by the district.)

He would probably need one if he went on to 3rd and I would likely be in court trying to get one. So despite my trying not to factor any of that into my decision, obviously it's playing a part in the process. And it's likely that the teacher is factoring that into her opinion as well. We all know that he'll have less support if he just goes into a regular 3rd grade classroom. The district would literally have to make a whole new program for kids like ours for 3rd grade and up. I'm looking forward to my meeting with the autism resource agency; I know they'll have some great ideas for getting the school to step it up or maybe get Sam sent out of district.

We're only slightly better off than most families in our district. I seem to have a better idea of how things are supposed to go and what can be done that the district can't or isn't doing right now. I know of 2 other moms at our school with kids like Sam; one is now homeschooling and the other has moved to a more afluent school district.

So.......that's who I am dealing with. If I could afford it, it would actually be easier for us to just pack up and move some place with better schools, but then we can't afford to live someplace like that unless I get a full time job that will cover child care expenses for the two year old. If it were only that simple.

Chrystee

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Thu, 04-26-2007 - 10:16am

Chrystee,


This is such a tricky one.

-Paula

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Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 7:21am

<<<<

...and how do you and your DH/SO feel about an extra year of school for Sam?<<<<<<

Paula

Thanks for your input and questions...Sam's bday is in June so he does seem less mature than some of his other classmates at times (especailly on difficult days.) His teacher keeps saying he's small, but I've seen him next to other kids in his class and he really is average - he's 50th percentile so that would make sense. He's really skinny though. There is one friend that he has been friends with since KIndy - but they are almost too close. C has Aspie tendencies and Sam is always saying how C won't let him have any other friends and they are super competetive with each other. Some separation between them would probably be good.

I guess DH and I are ok with it as long as we're doing it for Sam and not to make life easier for the school. Which is what my meeting with the autism resource agency will be about....right now I'm ok with keeping him back but we'll see....

Thanks!

Chrystee

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