When do you feel like you KNOW
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 08-24-2007 - 7:53am |
I've been lurking/posting on this board for nearly two years now, and I still feel as incompetent at this whole AS thing as when I started. I see other newbies who hop right in and have a lot to contribute with ideas and experiences, but I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing or how to deal with AS, let alone have the ability to offer any ideas to anyone else.
I know that I understand AS a lot better than I used to. I am a lot more sympathetic and semi more patient with my kids and other people's kids now since I understand why they behave like they do, but I still feel like I'm as helpless at providing support or change as I was before I knew what was going on. Nothing I try to implement seems effective. Many times, even though I see my kids having a meltdown, I can't even figure out the triggers. I just know "it's AS."
Is there a point that you ever FEEL more competent at this? Do some of you have so much to offer because you've had more years' experience or because your kids' issues are on a bigger scale that you have more opportunities for learning, or what? I hate feeling like I'll never get a handle on how to deal with my own kids!

It took me a full 2 years to get a handle on exactly what my kid had-- what was autism, AS, PDD, did he have other issues or just the ASD. We had been searching for answers for so many years to his different-ness. It was really hard to wrap my mind around actually have a semi-Dx. How could I get the school district to listen to me and do what was best for him-- quit seeing my son as this little genius and start seeing him as a kid who was totally unable to understand the actions of others, and couldn't communicate effectively at all. Now we're 4 years into his actually having a name put to his difficulties, I certainly don't have all the answers-- or even some of them. I work toward one issue at a time w/ Weston. I have an academic background in human development/sociology/psychology. I at least thought I knew what the names meant--- ha ha ha--- I was so wrong.
I'm not an expert, and probably not one of the board members you're referring to. I just try to relate what others are talking about and decide what we'd do. My answers are mostly pretty lame. Mostly I'm giving hugs and support. It's taken me a long to to even do that very well. At first I thought I had some answers-- now I know I'm just taking a stab in the dark. The more about ASDs I know the more in the dark I feel sometimes.
I'm getting pretty good at the IEP thing. I currently have 3 of my 5 kids on an IEP. None for exactly the same reasons-- oldest is ADD and unable to keep himself organized enough to pass all his classes, DS#2 is my ASD one, DD#2 is on one for reading learning disabilities (she is classically dyslexic).
Betsy
Ya know, no matter what there is so much more to learn. That is what i am finding. I feel competent in what I do know but a big part of that is understanding that there is so much I don't know and have to learn. Being comfortable with not knowing everything and knowing where to get the information is a big part of understanding.
I am fortunate. I started this journey as a professional in a place where they provide some intensive training in autism before the kids were born about 15 years ago, have an education degree, and have had at least 10 years with a child in special education and 9 with an autism diagnosis. Plus my DH is a specialist in the field so it is regular discussion and we have loads of reading materials and resources.
But I admit that there is still so much to learn. Heck I don't even think all the top researchers in the world have touched on what there is to learn yet.
Renee
You are being to hard on yourself. The whole world of autism is so complexed that NO ONE has a full understanding of what makes these kids tick.
Adam is great in some areas with MUCH needed improvement ahead of him.
This is a lifetime disorder. There is trial and error and that's how we do it here in our house.
Try noting when your child melts down and the enviorment that he's involved in to lead up to the meltdown. Was he hungry?, tired?, bored?
That helped me
Nora
http://i153.photobucket.com/albums/s225/irishwildrose/pp2.jpg
Good question!
You know, for me it has been ...7 years of special needs, and about 5
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Well, I don’t think I’ve ever had a major epiphany regarding the ASD. I’ve had a few ‘light bulb moments’ where I suddenly understood why one of my kids was doing a certain thing. But my understanding of the spectrum has come slowly, building over time.
This is one of those double edged swords for me. Because as soon as I feel like I've got a grip on things, one of my spectrum angels throws me for a loop and my head is spinning as I reenter the world of frantic research. The interesting thing for me is that since I'm now working with a little boy on the spectrum, I realize that I do have a lot more knowledge than I give myself credit for.
Luckily the vast majority of my knowledge is derived from my dear friends on this board, and I know I'm always able to "dip from their buckets" should yet another need arise.
Amy