Is It Possible to Establish A Timeframe?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Is It Possible to Establish A Timeframe?
17
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 5:50pm

First, let me apologize to any/all of you who are sick and tired of hearing about the trials and tribulations of Claire vs. 2nd grade. I truly hate being a constant downer, but I really don't have anywhere else to turn.

This summer Claire had a comorbid diagnosis of bipolar disorder added to her autism diagnosis. DH and I agree with the diagnosis...and even though there is a lot of controversy about the subject, we feel certain bipolar is the primary source of her current problems. Yes, she is significantly (though not severely) affected by her autism...but right now, the bipolar is what's causing the problems.

Since school has started, she has had nothing but bad days. Well that's not entirely true. She's had some awful days thrown in there as well. Take today for instance, she screamed and cried virtually non-stop. Up until today, her good natured gen. ed. teacher was able to keep a smile on her face as she reassured me that we were going to get through it. Unfortnately, even she was in tears today. I watched mutiple teachers offering her hugs of comfort because of our daughter. And if THAT doesn't make a mom feel like , nothing will. We're completely out of ideas...and to be honest, Claire simply isn't capable of functioning at school.

DH and I are doing our best to wait out the Rx rollercoaster. But so far, we don't seem to have found anything that even remotely helps our daughter. Because of her cognitive delays, standard behavioral interventions have failed miserably...and we've tried pretty much everything. I mean, honestly, how can you make a child who has no capacity to understand right from wrong understand that there are consequences for her actions? It's to the point where the standard bribe of McD's fries doesn't work. And if THAT won't work, nothing will.

Anyway-to get the heart of my question-is it possible to establish a timeframe on "giving up"? I know that sounds awful but, in my mind, I've set an arbitrary date of October 1st and if things have not improved markedly, we'll pull her out and I'll homeschool. I know that I am in no way well suited to homeschool, but I also know that there are no other "more appropriate" placement options in this district.

I've called an IEP meeting, but gawd only knows how long it'll be before it actually happens...but my guess is that it'll happen right before my "arbitrary date" rolls around.

Advice please?

TIA

Amy

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 6:14pm
In our school district we have a set of twins that are severly autistic. They have some pretty bad behaviors that cannot be handled in the normal classroom setting. Thus, the school has set up a classroom for just the two of them in the regular ed school. It works very well for them. They go to music, art, gym etc... with the regular ed kids when they can handle it. If this sounds like something your dd could benefit from, than you just push, push, push, then push some more. That is what this mom did. You tell them homeschooling is not an option, she needs to be in this school, but in a setting that makes her and the other kids feel safe. I know it sounds really extreme, but these two boys are doing great, but it took their mom not backing down, and making a big stink to get it. Best of luck, and hope your week goes a bit better.
Carey
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 6:30pm

(((AMY)))

Isn't there any other alternative for Claire? Man I wish your dh took the job here; there is so much more available for our kids here.

I can tell you I'd rather be trussed up in a tree, smothered with honey and yell "come and geddit bears!!" before I'd homeschool. Liam is also co-morbid autistic/bipolar and there are days I'm not sure if I'm dealing with a mood disorder, autism or just being 7, kwim?

Is there any kind of self contained program in your district? I know you saw most of Claire's improvements with speech etc once she was in an inclusion class, but she may have reached her growth potential as an inclusion student FOR NOW.( Meaning who knows what the future will bring-we thiough Liam was ready for partial inclusion this yesr......"says she laughing maniacally....." not this year either sigh.

I can tell you the school system would probably be thrilled and delighted to let you pull Claire for homeschooling; afterall they don't have to do their job anymore.

Email me girl....we need to talk...you need support

Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2006
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 6:32pm

Amy I am SOOOO sorry to hear what you are going through. I will be the 1st one to say you are NOT a downer here............this board is a LIFELINE to all of us when in need. I think the other gals will vouch for me too.

That being said, I do agree on trying and pushing to keep her in school. Ride the RX rollercoaster to hopefully (fingers are crossed as I type--hard to do btw) that this will level out for ALL of you.

I wouldn't set a timeline per say, but let it be a touch and go based kinda thing.
NO ONE wants to throw in the towel but there is only so much one can take. KWIM?

I am no where nere experienced with the whole school thing (heck mines only in preschool for God's sake).
I will send a hug to you. You holla when you need to....no need to feel bad. Life does that enough to us.

Love
Nora

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2005
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 6:42pm

Amy,


APOV on Autism

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 7:53pm

((((((((((((((((((((Amy)))))))))))))))))))),


I've had cutoffs for all sorts of things. And sometimes, if thing

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 12:43am

Boy, I really wish there was such a thing and an alternative placement in this stinkin' district, but it simply doesn't exist. You either:

A. mainstream and watch your child drown in the lack of compentency,

B. put them in a class for the academically delayed-which we all know doesn't help our exceptionally bright kids, and there's still no way of knowing what the class size will be, or...

C. you stick your kid at the developmental center with either the severe behavioral problem children (i.e.-the violent) or the mentally handicapped

Small, self-contained classrooms do not exist. Even at the school we're in now, the "special ed." classroom is for those with academic delays and they're all 3rd and 4th graders. Evidently you're not allowed to be "special ed." at our school until 3rd grade!

I'll keep you posted. Here's hoping tomorrow is a bit brighter...although I'm not sure how it could get any darker.

-A

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 8:44am

Amy,

we had the same problem here and we did put mike in the learning handicapped class. It actually worked for him and worked very well. He had a 1:1 in there and they modified their curriculum UP to meet his academic needs.

The thing is you don't have to make Claire fit their programs, they need to make their program fit claire. They need to provide her with a free appropriate public education and what she is in right now is not appropriate. And from what you have said it doesn't seem like homeschooling is really going to be the appropriate placement either. It may be the easier out in some ways (not others) but is it the right choice.

We haven't had an alternative placement either. It did take some searching for Mike's current school and it is still not perfect (most of the students are learning handicapped there as well and his academics won't be as high) but I know this small environment like his day class is the kind he learns best in.

See if they will work with you and be creative. Perhaps she can have a 1:1 in the 3rd grade LH class with pull outs to mainstream for activities where she has the most success for social purposes. She could have a 1:1 in the small group class and probably could participate at this point in some of the activities with them as many of the 3rd graders are probably working right at 1st grade level. When Mike was in at 3rd grade he was often grouped with the 5th graders for this reason.

At anyrate, remind them that currently Claires behavior is showing that her placement is not appropriate and she has the right to an appropriate education. That part is their responsibility. It is not your responsibility to make Claire fit their programs.

On the time line.....It it has been this bad for the entire year thus far and she isn't making progress and they aren't making changes that you think will make progress then the time line would be up for me. But not too homeschool but rather have an IEP and make changes.

Renee

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:28am

>>The thing is you don't have to make Claire fit their programs, they need to make their program fit claire. They need to provide her with a free appropriate public education...<<


Renee said exactly what I was going to say, only she said it better, so I nicked it ;).


You can look at private special ed schools,

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2005
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 9:42am

{{{{{{{AMY}}}}}}}}

I don't have anything to add to the advice already provided. But I wanted to send you some hugs and let you know I'm thinking about you and Claire. It's been so rough lately for you all.

Our school system is just like yours in terms of placement options, so I sympathize. Eric is only in kindergarten and I can already see the limitations. That's why I haven't been around here so much, I've spent so much time interfacing with the school.

I like Paula's idea of setting deadlines for sanity reasons. I do that too!

Katherine

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Wed, 09-05-2007 - 11:05am

((((Amy))))

I know how you feel with there not being an apropriate placement! We made the school hire a teacher and create a class for Kyle. He's now in a room with 6th-8th graders with a one-to-one aide and a classroom aide, 9 kids total. Some are learning delayed some not, like Kyle. The teacher modifies the curriculum for Kyle's scattered needs but mostly he follows the regular 7th grade curriculum. He's going out for specials with the gen ed kids except for PE-he has adapted PE this yr. Like everyone said they HAVE to give Claire what she needs.

Hang in there and big hugs.
Samantha

Samantha

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