Need tools to teach common sense to son

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Need tools to teach common sense to son
6
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 5:26am

Hi all...


It has been awhile since I have posted,

Amy
 
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 7:10am

Hi Amy,


Boy, do I ever know what you're talking about...my ds is similar, but in particular in relation to gauging safe/unsafe situations.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 7:13am

First off, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that you are a great mum, and a great wife, and you are doing the best you can for Adam. And that Adam's struggles are not your fault!


I didn't get anywhere with social stories, either, and frankly got a bit sick of the professionals trying to beat me up over that kind of thing. Every kid is different, and every Aspie kid is different, and you need to find ways to get through to *your* kid. I have no idea if this will help with Adam, but what works with Euan is really structured explanations for everything. And I mean, *really* structured. Details, details, details. Get on the internet with him, find some sites or books about dog behaviour and psychology, explain that dogs have evolved from hunting animals that move in packs and if something wakes them up suddenly their biology and evolution is going to tell them it's a threat, print out some pictures/posters for him to stick up in his room. You may think you've explained it, but trust me, you haven't explained it in terms that Adam 'gets' (because how on earth can you? you don't think the way he does)


And it sounds like you could do with some help at home, perhaps some counselling so that you and your husband can support each other better and have somewhere to go with all your frustrations, and also perhaps some structured psych support around helping Adam in the context of home - but most importantly really for you and your DH!


it's so so hard sometimes. I've lost count of the number of times I've felt like banging my head against a brick wall and yelling 'I don't get why he doesn't get it!!!' But you need to remember that it isn't his fault he doesn't get it, he isn't malicious towards the dog, or deliberately not listening or forgetting what you've told him.


the other thing to remember is that *all* kids this age do stupid stuff, no matter how often they've been told not to do it. I did, and I'll bet you did too.


hth


Kirsty


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 10:24am

Amy,


Awww. Poor Adam! I feel so bad for him. I can totally see my own son doing exactly the same thing and reacting the same way.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Fri, 09-14-2007 - 1:40pm

You got some really great advice, but I wanted to add the small idea I have.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 12:44am

Amy,


We have the same problem!

Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-15-2007 - 6:43am

Thank you all for the outstanding advise.

Amy