This whole grieving thing sucks

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-28-2007
This whole grieving thing sucks
15
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 10:53pm

So tonight it all came apart on me!

I literlly lay down on the carpet and SCREAMED and sobbed, poor dh thought I'd dropped a big anvil on myself, lol. But seriously I was done. I sobbed, blubbered, declared God a big fake degenrate and then sobbed somemore. I mean WTF!!! I made the mistake of watching a Youtube thing and all the Aspies had Irish accents and were ALL from Ireland. I was a wreak!!

Why, oh friggin why, my babies??????? sorry sooo selfish right now, but I am soooo angry!!!!! GRIEF BITES!!!!!!!!!

Dee

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2006
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:15pm
A wise friend once told me that sometimes your insides get soggy and when they do, you have to cry it out.
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Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:26pm

((((((Dee)))

I'm up way too late too and just read your post re: Cian's dx.

I've been so busy and haven't been around lately.

I'm not sure what exactly to say, except I know the place you're in right now all too well. As I watch Harrison (2) grow I cross my fingers and wish I didn't know anything about ASDs. I wish I could have enjoyed Sam more when he was this age. Everytime Harrison dashes off on me is a horrible reminder of Sam's toddlerhood and it takes all my will to not start crying at the thought of life being as difficult for Harrison as it is for Sam.

I can't seem to keep everything straight. I am glad that I can get food in people's bellies, clean clothes on our backs and that DH does the dishes!!! Sometimes I wonder why on earth these kids were given to me; I'm not patient enough, organized enough, or focused enough......

WTF!!!! is really the perfect way to say it.

(((hugs)))

Chrystee

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Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 09-18-2007 - 11:40pm

Ah Jaysis,


Poor you.

-Paula

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Registered: 08-10-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 9:34am

Awww Dee.... {{{{{Hugs}}}}} to you.

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Christine

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Registered: 04-11-2007
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 9:47am

(((((Hugs)))))

You can call me crazy later, but this is what gets me through the day:

I believe that before we come to earth we chart our lives, every last detail. We chose to become the moms of our children. We chose to learn something from them, there was a reason we wanted to do what we are doing. We are evolved. Our children also charted their lives, every last detail. They chose to be exceptional, they also had something to learn. They are even more evolved. God is watching our for us, but we chose this for ourselves. And when we go home, he is going to tell us what a good job we did, that we chose a hard path and made it.

It gets me through the day. It makes me more tolerant.

I also remember that every minute of every day me and my children, and you too Dee are surrounded by angels. They are there to help us if we need it, and we just have to let them.

Carey
(you can call me crazy now, if this doesn't make you feel any better, hopefully you got a good laugh out of it at least.)

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Registered: 01-19-2005
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 10:01am

{{{{{Dee}}}}}


Crying is good.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 11:37am

(((Dee))) I'm glad you let that out.

Molly
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Registered: 05-16-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 1:02pm

(((((((((((((((DEE))))))))))))))))))))))


I am so sorry to hear what you are batteling inside of you. Sadly we don't know why some of our kids get "it" and some do not. You Tube can be good and bad.....


Yes this is a tough time to just grieve cause I think it's your 2nd time around you put more blame on yourself. It's not fair to beat yourself up...........


You are a remarkable mom.


((((HUGS))))


nora

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Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 1:25pm

delete


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Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 09-19-2007 - 3:51pm

{{{Dee}}


Sweetheart I wish I was there to give you hugs and just let you cry on my shoulder.

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