burnt out or anxiety? Need help w/feel..

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
burnt out or anxiety? Need help w/feel..
6
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 9:30pm
Okay, so many of you know my son is 2 yrs 9 mos.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 9:59pm

First, I'd like to give you some great big bear hugs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 9:59pm

Probably some of both.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Sat, 02-02-2008 - 10:09pm

Ginny,


I went through something similar a few months after Peter was identified as having special needs. I saw a psychologist about it, and she said that I had thrown myself into overdrive trying to "do" stuff for him, but had never really dealt with my feelings about his having special needs and all of *my* old baggage that was consequently uncovered.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2008
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 2:54pm

in my opinion it seems a little of both! youve been going full speed ahead for so long, its only human to just start running out of steam so to speak. and this is a huge transition! My daughter is also moving on to an IEP, and im out of my mind anxious with all thse changes.. Just know you arent alone!! im glad to know im not the only "burnt out mama", who gives and gives !! i just try and remind myself its not permenant, if your state is the same as mine. you can accept speech now and wait for preschool till he's a bit older if u think that will help..

best of luck!

Amy H

Lilypie 3rd Birthday PicLilypie 3rd Birthday Ticker


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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2004
Sun, 02-03-2008 - 3:29pm

Hi there!

Burn out is a perennial problem for everyone at this board and must be handled! We cannot give and give without replenishing, or of course there will be nothing more to give and we will come unglued. That is inevitable, and easy to tell someone else, but hard to do for yourself. My son is now 10, and we started interventions when he was 3. I've had some years that were easier to take care of myself than others, but always I have to be careful to balance other parts of my life. Last year was one of the very hardest, as we had to pull our son from a school setting that had become abusive and set up a home-school program, which left us with NO free time and completely strapped for money... long story. Taking care of myself went WAAAYYY down the list, and yes I almost fell apart, lost lots of hair and otherwise looked old and worn, couldn't sleep, marriage almost fell apart, started anti-depressants, etc.

We have turned it all around now and both my husband and I put ourselves in therapy. We have reorganized our schedules and money, found our son all kinds of great help and he is absolutely thriving. And we are better.

As we say here, this is a marathon, not a sprint. You have to have supports for yourself in place, and take time to self-care. Always. I just want you to know that having started our son in so much therapy so young has really paid off all these years later, and we are not stopping with his therapies or progress. Our son has great friends, is gaining socially and emotionally all the time, likes himself and I think is on his way to becoming a fine and very possibly independent adult. I always think "Eyes on the prize", and that helps me through rough times. Also, a wise woman once told me "It doesn't matter HOW or WHEN he develops, just that he keeps developing, because when he's a grownup, it just won't matter what it took for him to get there."

((((((((HUGS)))))) to you. It is important to lean on others (this board is good for that, too), take time for friendships, do frivolous "you" things, and you can start doing things for him now before you get started on more therapies. We used to take ds swimming alot for sensory needs, did lots of "floortime" games with him, played soothing music often, gave massages for calming, arranged for one-on-one playdates that were heavily supervised to get him more used to other children, just loved him up. One thing a day is enough. read books, ask your therapists for suggestions of things to do, ask friends and family for help, help, help.

And stick around, lots of great ladies here.

yours,

Sara

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Mon, 02-04-2008 - 9:04am
Thank you all so much for your responses.
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