Motivation issues

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Motivation issues
6
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 4:46pm

Hi Everyone,


I'm having an issue with my DS. Owen (age 7, AS in grade 1) is really resisting trying anything to do with reading or printing at school and home.

Avatar for chowderheadmom
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
In reply to: pamww
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 9:57pm

I'm more of a lurker than a poster around here, but my Bug had the same problem. She's Aspie with Sensory Disorder, Anxiety Disorder, OCD, and shows ODD tendencies.

She eventually grew out of it, but her problem wasn't so much laziness. It was perfection. There are two types of perfectionists. One type does it well and goes above and beyond. The other type sees that it's impossible to be perfect, still has to be, and shuts down completely - never doing the work at all. If I don't do it, I can't fail. See?

Time constraints were her other problem. One on one, she was doing great. She still had problems, but it was doable. I too didn't want to hover (which often made things worse) and the school certainly thought she was just being lazy. :sigh:

We do have "no TV until homework is done" rules, but that's the rigidity and rules of Aspie in our house. She does better with lots of structure (we're learning) and rules that we can "blame." Can't have snack until the backpack and jacket are hung up? Sorry, not my fault. That's the rule. But then she'll pick up the backpack and jacket and get it hung up. Sure there are still battles, but them's the breaks, kid.

So this may not be a laziness issue. It may be sensory, or processing (there's a lot of steps that have to connect to be able to write, let alone well), or it may just be perfectionism. It's worth looking at it from all aspects.

Eventually she "outgrew" the problem (with a lot of work and a few battles), and now she's doing ok. Her writing still leaves something to be desired, but it truly is a lot better from a year ago. (Lots of summer practice helped. "How about you write a letter to Grammy in Cleveland? How about you make a birthday card for Aunt J?")

Good luck. I know how tough it can be. Let us know how you make out.




Edited 2/6/2008 10:23 pm ET by chowderheadmom


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Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: pamww
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 10:05pm

delete




Edited 2/19/2008 11:13 am ET by littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: pamww
Wed, 02-06-2008 - 10:38pm

We deal with something similar.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2008
In reply to: pamww
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 6:45am

You are describing my DS at that age to a 't'. He still struggles, and it isn't laziness. It's a combination of perfectionism ('I can't do it perfectly so I may as well not try'), difficulty with concentration and staying on task and the old Aspie ornariness about the sheer pointlessness of it. Plus DS has hypermobile joints so the physical activity of holding a pencil stiff enough to make his handwriting legible is a struggle. His writing will get better with practice, but unless you can get him to practise that won't happen, and in all likelihood the rewards you are using are pointless to him (and I can't blame them for this. I have no interest in getting a smily face on a chart either)


What worked with my DS was some short term immediate rewards. Literally, a candy bar in front of him that he can't eat until he's written his page of words (or whatever) would work wonders. Then, when I'd established a routine for it,

"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"


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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pamww
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 11:43am

Thanks so much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: pamww
Thu, 02-07-2008 - 8:06pm

Can I ask why you want him to write and not use the computer? Is it because you are worried he won't learn how to write functionally? Because everyone else writes?

Most of our society today revolves around typing. Having an early start on using a computer for work will likely help him in the long run. As you said, he can print all be it slowly. He will be able to write shopping lists, phone numbers, stickies, all the stuff the rest of us use our printing for.

I don't like to write either. I am one of 3 people in a masters course of 20+ who bring a laptop to class every week. This is because I SUCK at handwriting notes and can focus and work much easier when I can type (which I do much faster than writing).

Adaptations are not a bad thing. Honest, if someone told me I couldn't wear my glasses in class and had to do without I would be rather lazy and unmotivated to work too since the work is so much harder when I can't see easily.

Actually, if I were in your shoes I would start pushing for use of a computer program for writing and OT to help with printing to make sure he can in the future print those things that are necessary (job applications, addresses, etc).

But really, I would start pushing for AT soon. Districts often like to give silly excuses why not. My favorite is when they are Owen's age "well they are too young to teach typing to" and then when they are older "They never learned to type" AGGGH

Good luck. But just let me say from Owen's POV, if someone rearranged your keyboard to say one alphabetized rather than your current QWERTY layout, would you be as motivated to type? It is really hard for his brain to process how to write mechanically. So to have to focus on what to write and how to do it at the same time is a very exhausting thing. He is not being lazy, his brain is just working differently.

Renee

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