What is a cuss word really?
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| Tue, 02-26-2008 - 3:04pm |
After a great week off school, Liam has arrived home each day this week with written complaints about his language. What is odd is he is very careful with cuss words as he knows where it lands him (usually loss of screen privilages, his first love). Now he did drop the F bomb as recess when some kids were teasing him, and I made sure he understood that this was not on at all; he does get it too. But today they were complaining of him using Darn or Heck as they "sound like cuss words!" For the love of all that is divine and holy, when does the censorship end???? I could give a hoot if he says Darn, Heck, Booger, blah de blah de blah, but they act like he has the runniest potty mouth on the planet. So I thought about it and decided I had to tell them to back off. They just rattled the leftir, anti censorship college student in me!
I do find it mildly ridiculous though as to the censorship of words as innocuous as Heck or Darn. Perhaps it is the cultural difference from my own upbringing but there are words that my husband and I do not find offensive, and really think the policing of a child's ability to express his or herself with harmless words to be ineffectual and unecessarily restrictive. It is in essence unecessary censorship.
Liam does know what is allowed and what is not, and I only witness him swearing at home when he is in a rage (which are decreasing all the time) or extremely frustrated with others due to his struggle with social interactions. Even then the words that he expresses tend to be on the tamer side.
Know that we will support you in terms of truly offensive language, but I will not police innocent expession of excitement or frustration, with words such as heck or darn, no matter what another's personal interpretation may be. If I did then who is to say what is or isn't considered offensive? I am trying to raise my son to be expressive and true to his feelings without being offensive, but I will not do so at the expense of his worrying about every single utterence that stems from a nagative emtion.
I hope you understand where we are coming from.
As to his physical behavior at PE, we DO NOT see this behavior at home at all anymore. I request to know what is happening in school that makes Liam feel so insecure and out of control? if it continues perhaps we need to look at the antecedents presented before specials. It is obviously not about leaving the classroom as he appears to be doing very well in Math and Resource. It is very troubling to hear of this behavior, when he had a wonderful week at home,
I look forward to your reply as soon as possible,
DG>







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Dee,
I remember the first time I brought DH home he was horrified when he heard how much we cuss. I just couldn't understand what the big deal was. For us cussing is like breathing it just comes naturally. Maybe it's just how we grew up but I don't see what the big deal is. I don't curse in front of the kids just because I know it's not socially acceptable here
I think his use of language is age-appropriate.
Not being allowed to say 'heck' or 'darn' does seem a bit extreme.
I remember a woman going off on DH in the mall parking lot when he was loading the kid in the car and his car door was "just barely missing" her car.
well DH and I both rounded on her, saying that "missing" was the operative word, and if it is a miss, it wasn't a hit and she had no right to freak out. I think she was just afraid that something so close *could* cross the line between "miss" and "hit" very easily, and she didn't know DH well enough to know that he would not let that happen.
I think the situation here with Liam is very similar. They are afraid he *will* cross the line because he is close to it. You are right to tell them to eff off and that Liam knows exactly where the line is. The other concern they probably have is other parents and other kids using the words and having issues with where the "line" is. Frankly, that is not Liam's problem and they are wrong to make it so. If they are going to issue rules about language, and ban words such as "darn". It should become official school policy, distributed in writing, and distributed to EVERYONE -teachers, parents, aides, lunch workers, and the even effin' janitors. Otherwise they are discriminating against the special needs Irish kid, and that is not kosher. tell them that and they run away from this issue like their arses are on fire.
Can you tell I am in Evil mode today?
-Paula
-Paula
www.onesickmother.com
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Dee-
Quick!
Hi I'm Elaine, new here.
Just wanted to ask: did the other kids get notes sent home about calling their classmate names and excluding him from play? Why isn't this equally if not more evil/harmful than profanity? ("Sticks and stones..." notwithstanding)
Elaine
I agree with Elaine, I'm a darned (ooops!!!) sight more concerned about the apparent lack of action to address the real issue: that the other kids were teasing and excluding him. That's BULLYING, actually, and a lot more serious than using possibly mildly inappropriate language. I'd be marching in there demanding to know what the school was going to do about the bullying going on under their noses. But then I haven't had my coffee yet this morning and I have an early class so maybe you shouldn't be asking me...
I can't help on what's a curse, I'm in the UK and we talk differently anyway. I know that I have always taught my Aspie that some words are 'children's' swear words and some are only for grown-ups, but I included 'gosh' 'darn' and 'sugar' in the former.
Kirsty, mum to Euan (9, Aspergers) Rohan (5, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)
"My definition of housework is to sweep the room with a glance"
Follow my blog on http://mumsnet.com/blogs/kirsteinr/
I think that what matters is Liam needs to use language that will help him solve problems.
I couldn't agree more with your sentence about his curse knock-offs being ineffective and potentially offensive. (Except that I dont quite
***Shaking head here***** at the stupidity (oops I did it too lol) of some people.
I know other kids parents have there own rules and sometimes it cracks me up.
Well, I emailed yesterday after school and no response at all. I'm not all that surprised as this teacher often chooses to ignore my emails, even the run o' the mill stuff. But I specifically asked for a reply to this one, and still nothing. Then last night Liam was all upset as someone (teacher or parapro-not sure which) said his drinking cup was for "toddlers." This is a take and toss sippy that Liam has in the car on the way to school so he won't spill chocolate milk everywhere, not to mention the fact he is still so spasmic abd ticcish we still use a closed sippy in general. He never cared until the moron at school called him a toddler....grrr!'course I fired off another email, but I'm sure that'll be ignored too. If this keeps up I'll be requesting a meeting with the teacher and behaviorist. I guess though I'll have to sky write that to get her friggin' attention....fuming!!!!
Dee
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