Ideas to help my son cope?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Ideas to help my son cope?
7
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 12:42pm

Hi all,


Nic (8 2nd grade) is having a hard time with school, having more meltdowns etc.

Avatar for toryanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 1:13pm

First of all {{{{{HUGS}}}}}. I'll tell you this much. Victor passed the gifted and talented test for reading, math and science but he refused the GT program when it was offered to him. He was in 3rd grade when this happened the first time and he said it was too stressful, that he was always worried that he'd miss something in class. No matter how much we assured him he wasn't missing anything, he still stressed about the possibility. I left the advanced class option up to Victor. I figure no one knows what they can or cannot handle better than them.


As far as things to do to help the math teacher learn. Download some websites that she can read to give her information on Nic's uniqueness. Suggest to her that the three of you ( you, her and Nic) set up a quiet corner with a bean bag, carpet, headphones, earplugs etc.. This helps Victor when he's in a meltdown to calm down faster. Muffles the sounds and feeds the sensory needs. Suggest books for her to check out from the library. Whatever you discuss with her keep accurate notes for yourself. I don't know if you remember the mean teacher Vic had last year but she just out and out refused to learn how to handle kids "different" from the others. If the math teacher refuses to learn how to handle Nic's meltdowns, having the accurate notes will help you down the line in proving that you made an effort to educate her. That's all I have for ideas right now. I'll sit here a bit and see if I can think of anything else. Good luck hon.


Alexis

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Thu, 02-28-2008 - 1:28pm

Thanks Alexis, this is a great start.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 1:38am

Bump

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 10:19am

Lainie,

I agree that he probably needs more support in that class. I also know that your district probably won't spring for an aide for him, so although I am not saying NOT to ask for an aide (I think you should) I think you can also consoider some fallback options in case the answer is a resounding "NO" Also, my idea will work well or better with an aide in place, so here goes:

I am suggesting this because I know that Nic is a wonderful self-advocate: I am wondering if you can give him some tools to help himself in conjunction with the school? Nic probably knows before everyone else that he is struggling. He can probably recognize his own signs or be taught to recognize them. I am wondering if implementing something like the "5-point scale" technique that Renee has spoken about (link on my blog) would help him. This way, if he knows he is starting to lose it, he may be able to alert the teacher, and they can help him before he gets to meltdown stage. It is worth a little research, at least.

That's the best I can come up with for now.

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Fri, 02-29-2008 - 11:10am
Just my own 2-cents, but I also think there's nothing wrong with NOT putting him in the advanced classes. Although my kids do advanced work IN class, I have very specifically not allowed them to participate in some of the other advanced programs because it's extra homework and extra stress. Fortunately my kids are old enough (9 & 13yo) to recognize the validity of my reasons and agree with them. We all acknowledge that they are smart enough to do it but that we don't have to prove it by taking the classes and getting them stressed out. We have enough other reasons to melt down everyday that I don't think they need to add to their troubles.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 7:26pm

Paula, thats a great suggestion!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sat, 03-01-2008 - 7:28pm

I definetly agree with you hwife, and if we can't iron this thing out for him then I will pull him out.