what to do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2007
what to do?
4
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 12:18pm
any advice on house keeping. i have 2 girls both with ADHD one who the dr thinks may have aspergers (i think both may personally), and we are at a constant battle with the house keeping. i'm an RN and i work nights, my hubby is a model designer who is saying home with the kiddos for now, and he is at wits end. i try to help but with my hrs it doesnt seem to do any good. i also have anxiety problems and have been having panic attacks and all this has been very overwhelming (the dx for my youngest is brand new).
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
In reply to: wildkat424
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 1:08pm

I think the trick is to try and find what works for you. There are a lot of organization and housekeeping sites. A great place to start is flylady. She has great tips for everything from how to emergency clean a room in 15 minutes, to keeping the toilet clean.

There are some great board here on ivillage too. Small space living, superwomen, and flybabies to name but a few.

Here are some links:

flylady
http://www.flylady.net/

ivillage home and garden messageboards. There are a bunch on there.

http://home.ivillage.com/messageboards

organized home
http://organizedhome.com/

Also if you google phrases like "home organization" "housecleaning tips" and other such phrases you will find a bunch of stuff.

On the people front: having a routine helps a lot (monday is laundry , tuesday is living room, wednesday bedrooms or whatever), as well as daily and weekly checklists for each person to do. If you tie rewards to the checklists for the girls (allowances etc) that will help.

-Paula

-Paula


visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: wildkat424
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 10:11pm

Well, I'm the first to admit that we are not very tidy people around here.

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: wildkat424
Sun, 04-06-2008 - 10:39pm

Like paula said! I love flylady but I don't use all her stuff because it is overwhelming but I do use a lot of her general concepts. for instance, my kids love when I set a timer and they have to work on one space for that time. But I usually only do 5-10 minutes for the kids not 15 because thier attention span can only handle 5-10 min.

Another thought is some accommodations for the kids. Visual lists and rewards work great for us as well as specific chores that become routine.

Here are some tips that work for us.

1) chalkboard, white board or similar in bed rooms and kitchen (I also have one in family room). I use these to write quick lists of what I need done. It is a HUGE HUGE help. For instance, on the chalk board in their room instead of just saying "clean your room" I can write "1. put laundry in hamper. 2. Pick up toys and put on shelves. 3. Make bed" works for the aspie type much better than verbals. Last weekend when we were packing for a trip I put a list of what every one needed to pack on the family room white board. Great!

2) Color coding - My kids have everything color coded. Their toiletries, etc. This helps with the white board. I write what they need to do and their schedule in their "color" and when a brush or such is left out I know EXACTLY who left it.

3) separate buckets for each kid for toiletries. Again this helps them to keep their stuff organized and ti helps remind them what they need to do. which leads me to the next one...

4) Labelling - I have one of those label makers. Label where things go so the kids can help put away. It also labels where their stuff goes so I have a hook for their towels, etc. Organization helps so much for us.

5) Specific chores at their level. Kids may complain at first but they really love if you make a big deal about how they are helping and growing up. Make it something they can do independently with some teaching. we have started with things like taking out recycling, setting the table, clearing the table, etc. It helps to put a written list of the steps to the chore where it is readily available. I laminate or put them in those plastic covers and tape it near the chore until it is learned. Currently my kids are able to wash and dry dishes, set and clear table, clean the bathroom, do their own laundry, take out recycling (and starting on trash), dust, vaccuum. They don't do all every night. Pretty much they each have one chore they do per day and they do their own laundry 1 tiem a week then they help with other things as needed.

6) Reinforcement - I use a marble system with the kids. They earn marbles for doing chores, good behavior, being helpful, etc. At the end of the money they trade in the marbles for money ($0.25 per marble). I have found that my kids and ASD kids in general respond much better to positive praise and rewards than negative stuff. OHHHHH and believe it or not, REALLY beef up the praise for the good stuff and tell them EXACTLY what they did right. AS kids are so concrete and poor at the social skills that the really miss what was the appropriate behavior/desired behavior.

Hope you find something there that is helpful.

Renee

Disney08

APOV on Autism
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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2007
In reply to: wildkat424
Mon, 04-07-2008 - 8:18am
ok guess i should have let you all know we've tried all the basics, rewards- nope they could care less. time out for the toys, none are special enough for it to matter. they have their "chores" and it's literally a battle to get them to do that few things. we have a schedule that allows for wind down time and plenty of free time and clean up time. if i try to get them to help, we get total meltdown and tantrums. hubby and i usually end up doing it ourselves and we are really tired and frustrated. thanks for the advice, i resigned up for the flylady, i used to get her stuff, but it got to be more than i could handle trying to keep up with all the emails. but i'm gonna try again. thanks again