OMG he's going to drown :-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
OMG he's going to drown :-)
2
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 8:19am

I think I need some reassurance here that I am being an overprotective mummy bear......


Euan (9, Asperger's) took part in an afterschool sports club (he didn't like it much but he took part and did his best) and his class were the best in the region for behaviour/attendance/team spirit etc, and so have been offered a special day trip next Sat to an outdoors sports centre to do river rafting, abseiling etc. Euan is completely overexcited at the whole idea and I can't bear the idea of not letting him go, particularly as it is a reward for all the things he found really hard about the sports club (particularly the 'team spirit' thing which he didn't 'get' at alll LOL). anyway, I filled in the permission thing, and on the 'health' section I wrote 'autism', then, at DH's behest, crossed it out and wrote 'Asperger's', then, after much discussion with Euan and DH crossed that out as well.


Then I get a phone call from the sports director asking me what I'd crossed out on the form and why. I explained that DS1 had Asperger's, and in the context of the planned activities, it would mean making sure he had actually *listened* and *taken in* the instructions, and that he might 'space out' or wander off and they needed to particularly look out for him. (having said that, he'll probably the best one at actually following the rules once he's understood them I suppose!!) He asked why I'd crossed that out and I said I didn't want Euan to be excluded from activities but at the same time I was worried. And (I do love living here!!) he was incensed at the idea that I thought Euan might be excluded. 'We would never EVER exclude a child with special needs from a reward activity, if necessary we will put on extra support staff for him to make sure he's included'. This reassured me a lot, and I guess he's going, but I am still absolutely convinced that he's going to drown or get lost and eaten by a bear because he'll go off into la-la land just at the point when they are showing them how not to fall out of the boats....!!!


Am I being over cautious here? DH is cross that I even brought it up - he won't let me use the word 'autism' anywhere and maintains that Euan doesn't need any extra support and certainly shouldn't be taking resources away from needier kids. (he goes to the autism society's parent's support groups and is therefore well aware that Euan is relatively very high functioning) I know that Euan is not 'autistic' in any commonly-understood way, but I also know that he does struggle with some things because of the Asperger's and, particularly in the context of a potentially-dangerous trip, I want him to get all the help and support he needs to take part in 'normal' activities. But I also know about scarce resources and I don't want to overplay his problems.


sorry a bit rambly, but I thought you guys would 'get' this. Anyway, I'll let you know if he drowns or gets eaten by a bear!!!


Kirsty mum to Euan (9, Asperger's) Rohan (5, NT) and Maeve (2, NT)


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 8:37am

I don't think you are being overly cautious, rather that

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 9:19am

Kirsty,

You did the right thing.

Better safe than sorry. If you said nothing and he got hurt, you woudl never forgive yourself. Indeed, if you said nothing and he got hurt, your DH would probably never forgive you.

So you did the right thing. Needier kids are not Euan's problem (or yours). Euan's needs are Euan's needs and not to be negated because other unknown, unnamed kids may have more needs. That is their unknown, unnamed parent's concern and not yours or Euan's.

Those are my 2¢. Or 2p. Which is like about 18¢ now, right? ;)

-Paula


visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com