school refusal here we come

Avatar for insideout418
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
school refusal here we come
6
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 8:52am

well you can tell spring break is over, here I sit on the couch with my son trying to convince him to go to school.


arrrrgh


Please tell me I am not the only one who wants to quit this job in the mornings.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2007
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 9:31am
I really feel for you. I had this problem for the past two weeks. My level of stress would rise day by day and I lost it two of the 14 days. I know exactly how you feel. My son has a lot of anxiety about school and is afraid of breaking the difficult rules. He loves the rules but I think he thinks he is bad. The school has a stop and think spot in the classroom that was used not a punishment but a place for all the children to um... stop and think. I talked to the school and told them even though it does not have the name time out my child still felt like it was a time out spot. I now have him go to the special ed room to relax and talk to the special ed coordinator whom he enjoys because she talks him through the problem. The school made a contract with him saying he will get on the bus everyday without saying "I am not going to school" in the mornings. I agreed after a week I would give him a gameboy surprise. He went off this morning with a few reminders and he seemed better. I worried that me buying him something would be a bad choice but they talked to me and said the reward would do a more important job by getting him to school. So I am willing to try it. Good luck and try and calm down. I cried almost every morning after the kids were at school and it really does not help the situation. If you think about it the environment at school is non stop structure but also non stop pressure for these kids. It is very hard for even typical children to function in such a restrictive environment. Every day there is expectations for them to excel in every type of learning. They really have to be good at everything and that is something we forget as adults. We as adults everyday picked our chosen career based on what we are good at. If we are not as gifted as math we moms use calculators to balance our check books or pass it along to the husband. If we hate to read we don't read that much. If we hate public speaking we don't offer to run the PTO. It is really much easier for adults and kids can't avoid the pressure. So just tell him you will figure out what element of learning is giving him the anxiety. A lot of times they stress that us moms don't know what is wrong. Sometimes Asperger's is not a good enough clue to each specific child. As parents we are given some insight as to how PDD/ Asperger's effects kids but we are not given a set of directions on our specific children. I think this is why so many parents are suffering. I think you need to take a look at what could be causing your son to have so much anxiety. I know this week a took a look at what he was doing in school and I realized he was having trouble with sequencing. He was able to read a paragraph but the steps involved after with answering the questions got confusing for him. The same in math steps can cause a lot of problems for these kids. I just never knew it. Try and put aside the diagnosis and concentrate what could be hard for him in the school day.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2003
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 9:44am

Honestly Debbie,

Meez 3D avatar avatars games

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-27-2007
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 1:16pm

manec93...I like that idea...LOL with the rules and cards.


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Avatar for betz67
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 2:06pm

yep and when they get older it's a huge pain in the rear too! In middle school it's a reason to forget that we have a daily routine and in addition to not getting on the bus, we have the new refusal to do homework or turn in homework and forgetting of all self care at school kinds of things. sigh.

Betsy

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 2:42pm

I'm in the same boat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-11-2003
Mon, 04-14-2008 - 6:12pm
We deal with that all the time with Hannah.
Samantha