Need advice might leave DH

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-12-2006
Need advice might leave DH
10
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 8:59am

Good morning ladies,

I want some advice on a very touchy subject. I'm thinking about leaving my DH or just separate for awhile. You see all my DH thinks about is himself. He loves spending money on things that he wants. He also doesn't want to spend time with him that much. My DH sometimes wants to be involved but most of the time it is when gets home from work it is on the computer for him or playing with his Ham Radio things. Even on the weekends it is the something. When I'm trying to help our DS or want to buy things that will him with his therapy and so on and I get the "we don't have the money to get it right now". So you can see why I want to do this for my DS.

Mindy

Avatar for debbi801
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 10:45am

No real advice other than have you considered marriage therapy as something to try first?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 11:43am

Oh Mindy, I'm so sorry.

Molly
Avatar for littleroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 12:01pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2008
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 1:46pm

Mindy,

I agree with PP that some counseling is in order. If not for the both of you together, at least for you so that you can clarify what is the best decision for you and your kids. If you can't afford it, look into centers that have a sliding scale fee. We attend at a local Jewish community center even tho we are not Jewish. They are very reasonable. Your pastor is another source of affordable counseling. There are resources out there, you just have to dig around.

I'm so sorry that you're in this predicament. It really sucks. I went thru one separation and divorce and it was awful AND we didn't have kids to consider. Big cyber hugs to you. Keep us posted on your decision, k?

Andrea

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson

Andrea, mom to

Graham
Miles
Anson
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 2:25pm

I don't have anything new to add to the excellent advice of the other ladies, but I will add in my ((hugs)).

                                

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 2:42pm

Hi,


I just want to send some hugs your way too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-25-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 3:45pm

Mindy,

There have been some ups and downs in my marriage, too recently. More "downs" than "ups" to be honest. Even though I have been in a similar boat, I don't feel I can advise you because everyone's relationships and circumstances are different. The only thing I will say is to second what others have said about individual and couples therapy.

(((((((Hugs)))))) to you. I know how stressful your situation can be. I hope you guys find a path that works out for the best.

-Paula


visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com

-Paula

visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 4:29pm

Mindy,


Counseling did amazing things for our marriage, but the counseling is very dependant on the people involved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
Tue, 04-15-2008 - 8:54pm
Molly
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2004
Wed, 04-16-2008 - 12:37am

Mindy,


I am currently getting a divorce.