How engaging is your child?
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| Fri, 04-25-2008 - 1:32pm |
I spoke a little about this last night in chat, but I wanted to bring it here and get some opinions.
I have several priv evals that go from ASD to Autistic Disorder regarding my 12 yr old. They also show weakness in Dysgraphia (written expression, visual processing disorder, and processing disorder)
The school wouldn't accept these evals and did there own testing and it all comes up in their favor ie he doesn't qualify for an IEP/504.
They agreed for some more testing thru a state center.
The state center so far says he has extreme anxiety (he had a major meltdown on the third day of testing) but they didn't think he was on the spectrum because he was too engaging. They also say they don't see any problems academically so far (UGH!)
I was lucky so that I was in a booth with two way mirrors and could observe him. I did see a problem when the speech therapist pulled out a picture and asked my son to tell a story and he just couldn't do it. I also saw his response to the writing portions of testing and he really really tried to avoid it.
I also saw problems with focus and impulsivity (which they agreed).
Anyway, I explained that yes he does engage, but he was only engaging with adults and not children. He at one point did move to another child in the waiting room, but it was because he had a psp and thats what drew my son. He didn't talk to the child, he just talked about the psp and how he has one and it's black but the white ones he was told were rare (the father kinda looked at me and said huh? LOL) He did not try to converse with him, it was the psp that he attached himself too.
I do know of some kids on the spectrum that do better than others in this area, but they are still on the spectrum.
This really bugs me.
In fact just this morning my son said he didn't want to go to school because he hates fridays. I asked him why and he says the lines always change on fridays.
I said at lunch? He said yes (I know that they line up in the same line alphabetically everyday which is good for him) but that on fridays they go backwards and he just can't get used to it and it makes him angry and confused.
BTW he won't show the anger at school, he will bottle it up and bring it home instead.
You know I swear to god, with this disorder you could go to 10 different docs and get 10 different answers everytime.

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Lily is only 5.5, so I don't know if this will help or not. For the most part, she doesn't engage with other children. She doesn't seem too interested in their attempts to engage her either. There have been a couple of occasions where she attempted to ask another child to play, but then she just didn't seem to know where to go from there. She plays fairly well with her sister (she's NT and 11yrs), but it took years to get to that point. As far as adults go, she is much more likely to engage with them. But even then, she doesn't really have a conversation with them, she just wants to talk AT them. Does that make any sense? I know how frustrating it is to ride the diagnosis roller coaster. It seems like it's quite common for kids on the spectrum to get several different dx's depending on who evaluates them. IMO, it's a doesn't make sense to say that a child isn't on the spectrum if the evaluation is done without other children around. Unless of course the evaluator is willing to listen to what parents/teachers have to say who have observed the avoidance of other children. It's hard to judge lack of social skills without watching the child in a environment where those skills are going to be tested in a real life situation. I hope that you can get some help soon.
Amy~Natalie & Lily's mom
Josh age 13 can be a very engaging kid. Usually with adults and even younger kids.. and depends on certain kids in his own age group I see Josh though will use situations to saitsfy his immediate needs and when they are satisfied I have seen him lose interest and just up and leave. I have also seen if Josh does not get what he wants he will just not particiapte.
But I see Josh having conversations. usually only about what he wants, very repititious at times, mostly him asking the same questions over and over again. Usually about some up coming event. i know with his bar Miztvah coming up this will be more intensified.
I also see josh not always understanding other people. I also see Josh having major anxitey issues at times. Dh and I seem to know when to push him past what is bugging him because sometimes he just has to bite the bullet versus just letting the issue drop.
I know Josh will push on different issues.Esp if it interests him Example. Boy scouts.. Josh is very much into it. he wants to be my Den Chief for my den. I have told Josh not until next year if I even have Josh do this job, because I want him to get through the Bar Miztvah. Josh figures since Dh is Cubmaster, he should be able to helop run the pack nights despite the fact our pack has 2 other boys (also on specturm/disabled) who work volunteer. So Josh does not want to go to pack nights since its not under his terms.
Josh wants his party for the Bar Mitzvah and he has been helping with some of the desicion making and he has doen well holding it together. It does help to know some of the NT kids in his class struggle too. But I have threaten on more than 1 occasion to cancel trhe whole thing if I don't see an effort on Josh's behalf to study. But Josh is doing well with his hebrew.
I can understand the whole different doctors different diagnosis. I think the concern is going overboard with the whole Autism specturm . Because of th numbers going up. I guess some of them are not seeing the picture.
I know Josh wasn't picked up till he was almost 11 despite his many issues but no one suggested it till I started to research Aspergers.
Ya see thats it, he does better with adults than kids.
Thank you, for reminding me I'm not crazy.
Mollie
Peter can be extremely engaging. He was the class clown up until this year and found he could make the kids laugh with many of his antics -foremost being his silly dances such as "the sumo dance" and "the booty dance". Recently he has been teased and criticized by his peers in school for his differences so he has become much more withdrawn.
Peter can present very differently to an unknown adult depending on whether he takes a shine to them or not: At his worst, he will not make eye-contact or not speak to them (he will answer their questions by addressing the answers to me). He will often try to hide in a small space in these circumstances.
However if he likes someone, can be quite animated. He will smile, make some eye contact and answer their questions directly -maybe even volunteer information or crack a silly joke.
Until very recently his peer interaction was pretty good. He would go out and play with other kids and engage in activities such as tag. He is still great with kids he knows and trusts and in small groups.
He is also quite good with his sister. The other day we picked her up fom a friend house, and he said -totally unprompted: "Hi Siobhan. How was your playdate and sleepover?" And he really wanted to know! Of course Little Miss ignored him and prattled on to me about something she wants that she saw on the telly....
My poor boy can't win sometimes...
-Paula
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
visit my blog at www.onesickmother.com
Ya know, this is one of the things that really bugs me, and is the reason why it was so hard for us to get a dx. How is it that the alleged "professionals" know LESS about autism than we parents do?!
My 13yo AS dd is very engaging. In fact, her teachers this year were SHOCKED to find 1/4 into the year that dd has AS and has an IEP (weren't following it; tho' they were apologetic and responsive when we discovered she was failing a class she normally gets "A's" in). Dd conversational subject CONTENT isn't always on par with the kids around her, and she still goes on and on and on about her interests, but she's very engaged and has several friends.
My 9yo AS ds is more withdrawn, but he'd like to engage more. With the few kids who accept ds, he's very interactive (within his sphere of ability), but with less patient kids (most) he's very quiet and withdrawn.
I just finished reading "Look Me in the Eyes," by John Elder Robison, brother to the author of "Running With Scissors." Robison wasn't diagnosed with AS until he was 40yo. He shares his experiences of trying to engage with neighborhood kids. He was continually rejected because he didn't know HOW to interact with kids. He outlines HIS thought process during his attempts to engage. Later he learned some socially appropriate behaviors and was able to engage pretty well with peers. Robison said he thinks it's completely false that autistic people don't want to interact with others. It's that they've been rejected so many times that they stop trying to engage for fear of more rejection; that autistic individuals who are accepted are much more engaged than those who are rejected. BTW, Robison apparently toured with the music group KISS when he was young (late teens/early 20's) and produced a lot of their special effects, incl the guitars that had lights and spit out smoke.
With your state center that did the testing, if they can at least see that ds has major anxiety issues, isn't that enough to qualify him for an IEP/504? Isn't that a medical problem? And, if that anxiety is demonstrated in the testing environment, isn't that evidence that a testing situation causes him to be affected and do less well? Doesn't THAT impact his academics? No matter how high your IQ, if you can't function due to anxieties, then it DOES impact the academics!
How very frustrating that those testing your ds are either incompetent or unwilling to acknowledge all of his issues (or even take the ones they acknowledge seriously), so they don't have to help him. Grrrr!
Ya, ya know Chris has never walked up to us and asked how our day was either.
Well ya'll thanks for making me feel more secure.
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