Saturday's Surprise : Open the Enve...

Avatar for countrygal23
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Registered: 03-26-2003
Saturday's Surprise : Open the Enve...
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Sat, 04-06-2002 - 7:53am

Saturday's Surprise : Open the Envelope


Hi all, since Mac is away this weekend, she asked me to post this for her.

Write a short story (1000 words or less) about a pack of pictures found in a desk drawer.

Have Fun

Mac

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Avatar for countrygal23
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 04-06-2002 - 2:07pm

My SS


Gina headed down the hall past his office to Tyler’s bedroom carrying his folded laundry. It was Friday which meant it was house-cleaning day. She placed Tyler’s clothes into his dresser then she made his bed and sat down on it. Gina thought I’m so tired of cleaning and I still have two bathrooms and our bedroom and Aaron’s office yet to clean. Damn! I wish I had a maid!

Her mind wandered as her active imagination took her to fantasyland where Gina was being massaged and readied for her attendance to an elaborate star filled party.

“Wake up, get a grip,” she muttered as she left Tyler’s room and walked into Aaron’s office. Gina straightened up the papers on his desk, emptied the trash can, vacuumed and started dusting his bookshelves. A pair of scissors fell to the floor so she picked them up and decided to put them in a desk drawer. Opening the middle drawer she noticed Aaron’s wedding band. He had to cut it off because his hands were swollen from playing basketball. She riffled through a box of staples, a stapler, pushpins and small notepads when she spied a packet of pictures. She flipped through them and then taking them with her she dashed to her bedroom.

Gina stood in front of the dresser mirror and scanned over her body. I look like an over weight, pear shaped, old, dull haired, pale being. Oh Gosh, I look like my mother! And I promised myself that I wouldn’t let that happen she thought as she plopped down onto the bed. And then the tears streamed out.

Looking thorough the pictures once again she saw through her tears pictures of a mountain, and a waterfall, pine trees and a small squirrel but the last picture angered her. Gina got up and paced across the maroon carpet. “I’ll get the meanest, lady lawyer, I can find! And after I’m done with him, he won’t be able to afford to take the tart to the burger joint that starts with an M! I bet he met her at work. The people he works with get to see the good side of him, well; they don’t have to live with him!”

“Honey, I’m home,” Gina heard which stopped her pacing.

“I just bet, you were with your honey,” she moaned.

Aaron walked into their bedroom and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Gina turned her back to him. She felt his body heat before he turned her around and said, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know! You tell me!” she said while handing him the picture.

Aaron took it, viewed it and said, “Nice boobs!”

Gina’s face turned red then she heard, “Honey, that is a picture of your breasts, remember? We were on vacation in the Colorado Mountains. You flashed me and I took a picture. I guess I zeroed in on those and didn���t get you face,” then he laughed.

“Oh Honey, I totally had forgotten that! Wait a minute, you’re home early, why?” she said before putting her arms around his neck.

“I came to tell you that we are going out tonight for dinner and a movie. I got a babysitter lined up and reservations.”

Aaron walked away and went to the door and locked it. As he came back towards her he said, “ So you thought, I was cheating on you. I think we need to get something straight between us.”

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Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Sat, 04-06-2002 - 3:08pm

Ha, ha, nice boobs! (m)


All that leaping to conclusions, hey, creating needless anxiety. Sounds about right that he'd focus the camera on those instead of her face, lol.

One thing, would Gina take the pictures to her bedroom or to their bedroom? How would she refer to her-and-her-hubby's bedroom?

Hope they had a romantic night...

Eyewrite

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sat, 04-06-2002 - 9:28pm

Nice twist (m)


I agree with eyewrite that you really built up the suspense. I just knew he was cheating!

Loved the end too,

Mac

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sat, 04-06-2002 - 10:39pm

Jade's SS


Jess and Marc had been going together for over three years. She was so happy that Marc was going to move in with her. After having decided that her place was larger and cheaper then his the move day had been scheduled. Jess arrived at his house at eight and was ready to help him pack. He had asked her to start in the spare room because it was almost done. She grabbed a few boxes and went to work. The room was filled full of everything and anything that did not a place in the other rooms. Jess made her way to the couch and started to pack things up.

“Sure leave me to pack up the room that has the most stuff in it,” she muttered to herself as she threw the blankets into a corner to make room.

As the day wore Marc checked in on Jess from time to time, and helped haul out the full boxes. He took her out to their favorite restaurant for lunch. They talk about what was left to do in house before they called it a day. Jess had mentioned that all she had left was the old roll top desk, when Marc felt the air thinning. They finished up the lunch with some small talk.

When they got back to the house, Marc gave Jess the key to the drawers for the desk. Jess went in and found that the desk drawers were almost emptied. There was only a key, some paper and a pack of pictures. On the paper there was a note to open the top of the desk. She opened it carefully only to find a large vase filled with red roses and stargazer lilies. They were her favorite flowers. Jess was now wandering about the pictures she has seen. She grabbed the pouch and took them out. The first one was of Marc standing on the beach with her named scrolled in the sand. The next on was about the same but the under the Jess was I with a red heart and a u. Jess was almost in tears of joy this was the sweetest thing Marc had done. She glanced at the last two photos. She was not able to figure out what he had been trying to say. The photos read: Jess, I love u, will you please…

Marc had been standing at the door watching Jess go through the photos. When she stood up he approached her. He handed her the last photo and got down on his knee.

“Marry me.”

A sob of joy and a yes escaped Jess’s lips, as she hugged Marc to her.

Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sat, 04-06-2002 - 10:44pm

LOL.........(m)


Oh Maria I just love this story. Poor Gina. i am glad that it all worked out. I love the last line of your story. It sums up the whole story.

Great Job

Jade

Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

Avatar for countrygal23
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 04-07-2002 - 2:47pm

How romantic (m)


and such a creative way to ask the big question! I loved it and also my 18y/o daughter loved it. We both read tons of romances and for some reason she insists that all stories end,happy.lol

Great job! P.S. I wanted to thank you for inspiring me to get my rear in gear with the monthly exercise. I got my car, meaning my mind out of nuetral and into first gear but of course that doesn't mean that I might need a tow from you! LOL

Maria

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Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sun, 04-07-2002 - 4:04pm

thank you Maria.........(m)


I would be glad to give you a tow any time :)

I am one who get the urge to write when challenged.

Oh you should have your daughter read A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks. It has the not so happy ending, but a wonderful book. The movie was great also.

Thanks for reading my work.

Have a wonderful day,

Hugs

Jade

Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-07-2002 - 8:28pm

Here's mine (m)


Staying in a hotel sparked this idea and I'm playing with writing in two POVs, which I think is a no-no for short stories. Also I deviated a little bit from the exercise instructions. I hope it’s okay.

Mac

* * * All the way down to Savannah, my thoughts kept returning to the fact William had left me. Early on we’d decided not to have children, and then I chose to be a housewife instead of making a career for myself. So I felt like I didn’t have anything to fall back on two months ago when my husband of twelve years told me he wanted a divorce. I had known our relationship wasn’t what it had once been but hearing him say he wanted out made my world come crashing down. He was my whole life; my purpose for living had been striped way from me.

I couldn’t stand being alone in our house. Savannah seemed like a good place to go so I packed a small bag with the only things I needed: my journal, a few changes of clothes, several self-help books and a lighter. The cigarette lighter was one of those tacky ones I had bought in Las Vegas back during my smoking days. On the way down, I picked up other necessities at a convenience store, mainly Marlboro Lights. William hated for me to smoke so I gave up the habit years ago but the same drive that had possessed me to pack the lighter possessed me to buy a carton of cigarettes, not just a pack.

After a leisurely five-hour drive, I checked into the Riverfront Hyatt Regency and made my way to my suite. It didn’t matter what it cost was nor did I bother to answer the employee’s question directly when she asked how long I’d be staying. “I’m not sure yet,” was all I could say. In fact, I didn’t know.

My marriage had ended, my mind was waffling between jumping out into the dating arena or becoming a recluse.

*

Evangeline watched from across the street. She’s taken to hanging out on the bench between Montgomery and Perry Street. Although some of the other street people told her it wasn’t good to spy on the rich folks staying at the hotel; she liked it. She leaned back and pressed her back against the stiff wood. Thoughts of her mother entered her head when she noticed the thin woman step out onto the balcony. As she lit a cigarette, Evangeline witnessed the smoke billow in the air and although it was dark outside, the fire of the cigarette illuminated the woman’s face.

Evangeline dug into her pocket and pulled out a half-smoked butt she’d found earlier and lit it.

*

I stared down at the street below, noticing a teenage girl sitting on a bench across the street. I reached into the pocket and pulled out a packet of pictures. Back before I met and married William, I’d had a brief affair with a married man that resulted in a pregnancy. Though I knew the man I’d been involved with wouldn’t leave his wife for me, I decided not to abort the baby as he had requested. Weeks before the delivery, I opted for adoption. In my heart, I felt the baby would be better off with a real family: a mom and dad.

I hadn’t thought about the baby I’d given up for years. After William came for his things the final time, I started rearranging the house and came across a packet of pictures. Tears welled in my eyes as I thumbed through the pictures. The morning that the baby was to be released from the hospital, I’d sneaked around to the nursery and took a few pictures of my baby with a disposable camera I purchased in the gift shop.

Flipping the cigarette into the night air, I stuffed one picture back into my pocket and laid the rest of them on the balcony’s small table. Then I climbed into the chair and onto the railing.

*

Evangeline couldn’t believe her eyes. “Is that woman crazy?” she said, and then chuckled. “Who am I to define crazy?” Two days before she’d ran away from two loving parents to search for her biological mother, having no idea where or who the woman could be. Before she could do anything, the woman she’d been watching leaped from the railing into the 6ft. end of the swimming pool.

She ran across the street and through the gate of the fence surrounding the pool. The woman bobbed lifeless in the pool so Evangeline plunged into the water headfirst. She wrapped one arm around the woman and swam to the shallow end of the pool and pulled her onto the side of the pool, screaming for help. Hotel workers from the nearby restaurant came running to her aid. “Call an ambulance,” she yelled.

One of the waiters pushed Evangeline aside and began CPR. Moments later, the woman began coughing. “Can you hear me, ma’am?” he said.

She nodded her head slowly and looked over at Evangeline who clutched her hand. “How old are you?” she mumbled.

“Sixteen?” Evangeline answered.

“My baby would be sixteen.” She fumbled in her pocket for the picture and handed it to Evangeline.

“He’s a cute little boy.” Evangeline said, smiling at the woman. “Don’t you think he needs his Mama?”

“Yes,” she muttered through the tears. “But I don’t know how to ever find him. I gave him up for adoption right after he was born.”

“Well, you can always try to find him.”

“No, I don’t want to disrupt his life. He went to a good family. That’s what they told me,” the woman said.

“Hmmm…I’m sure he did.”

She squeezed Evangeline’s hand. “Thank you for saving me.”

“You’re welcome. Well, I’d better get home. My parents are probably real worried about me by now.”

Avatar for jadetigerroses
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-01-2003
Sun, 04-07-2002 - 9:35pm

Mac.....(m)


ok I admit I got a bit confused but after the second read it made sense.

I like the idea I wished that the girl would have been her daughter.

Great story!

Jade

Have a mystical day,

Jade

Please Pray and Support O

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
Sun, 04-07-2002 - 10:58pm

That has to be the most romantic (m)


proposal I've ever read. How did you think of that one? Too clever!

I really, really enjoyed this one,

Mac

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