Saturday's Surprise: Open the Envelop...
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Saturday's Surprise: Open the Envelop...
| Sat, 04-20-2002 - 12:34pm |
Saturday's Surprise: Open the Envelope (m)
This week, write a short story (less than a 1,000 words) involving a well-dressed woman, a cat named Luke, and a note written in crayons.
Happy writing,
Mac

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An SS: Time is of the Essence
Time is of the Essence.
The red walls of the cave are covered in the hieroglyphics of her people, their ancient history, and her story too. Grandfather points to a dark corner of the cave, “There,” his tired voice insists.
“But Grandfather it is only a pile of rocks there!”
His wrinkled, sun-baked face leans in closer, his hooked nose and high cheek bones wrestling for dominance. In a hoarse whisper he says, “Pull away the stones, it is there.”
She crawls toward the narrow corner of the cave. It is darker here. As she begins to pull away the stones she hears, “ZZZZZZZZZZZZ!”
Jessica jumps up, the alarm clock is hissing at her. She turns it off, throws back the covers, and heads for a shower still dazed. While in the shower, the sensation of an out of body trip subsides as the warm water rushes over her body. There’s a lingering feeling that there is something she is supposed to know.
Today Jessica has an appointment with the Director of DMC Biochemical. She’s hoping to get the job as their H.R. Director. Her friend Michael manages the R & D department at DMC. He thinks she’s a shoe in. We’ll see. She straightens the shoulders of her favorite navy suit.
She decided to wear her champagne-pink silk blouse to soften the effect of the tailored double-breast suit. Command, but with a fair heart is the presentation she’s shooting for. Hey, they say, first impressions are lasting ones. She wants Bob Williams to see a strong, but fair woman. All crazy thoughts, I need a cup of coffee.
Her nineteen year old son, Ricky, works for her brother’s construction company. Bless you, Ricky. He brewed the coffee before he left for work. He was gone before her alarm clock jolted her out of bed.
She walks into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and finds Luke lying on the kitchen table. He’s lying in a beam of sunlight, and lazily raises his head as she comes around the corner. “You fat TABBY, get your lazy butt off my table!” Jessica walks over and gives him a shove. As Luke jumps up, she hears the crackle of paper, there under Luke is a note from Ricky.
“Pretty sad mom that I can’t find anything to write with except this lime green crayon. Another token of my childhood? I’m going camping with the guys this weekend; we’re heading out tonight after work. See you Sunday night. Love Ricky P.S. Good luck with your meeting today…you’re in!
Yeah, right! She pours herself a cup of coffee. I need to have Rick move the table away from the window. Luke loves the morning sun there, and I can’t have that cat sleeping on my kitchen table. She adds pens to her grocery list, and sees the time. Better run, I don’t want to be late.
As she drives to work, her radio on, the weather report says, “Eighty percent chance of snow tonight, three to four inches expected along the Front Range.” I need to call Ricky this afternoon and make sure he’s aware of the report, she thinks as she pulls into a parking spot.
Jessica checks her hair in the rearview mirror, and says out loud, “You’re in!”
Jessica slides out from the driver’s seat and strides toward the large black metallic building that houses DMC Bio. It looks ominous. She pulls open the heavy smoked glass doors and walks toward the reception desk.
“Ms. Alexander?” asks the pixie blonde behind the fort of a desk.
“Ah, y-es,” responds Jessica with surprised hesitation.
“Mr. Williams is expecting you. Have a seat a moment and let me confirm he’s back from his meeting.”
“Thank you.”
I wonder if I should try to call Ricky now. “Ms. Alexander, Mr. Williams will meet you over there at the bottom of the stairs. Jessica gets up and walks toward the stairs as a man begins to descend the stairs. “Jessica?” He says halfway down, “Jessica Alexander?”
She extends her hand as he reaches the last step. His handshake is firm and confirming as he places his other hand over her shaking hand. He is as tall as she, their eyes are level with each other's. His are green, a golden green. They are bright, active. Hers are blue, indigo almost. He smiles warmly. “Pleasure to me you. Let us step into this office.”
She follows his lead as he opens the door and steps back to allow her to enter first. The wall to wall office windows look out over the parking lot, and beyond that the plains leading up to the Flatirons, the granite entrance to the Rockies from Boulder, Colorado. She notices the clouds corralled along the top of the mountain range.
“Please, Jessica, have a seat. “
She wonders if she should ask Mr. Williams if she could make a quick phone call, but decides it��s not the correct thing to do. He begins the interview, which is really a discussion to confirm what Michael has told him. He has her resume. Very impressive he notes. He wants to take her on a tour of the facility, introduce her to the different managers. She calculates how long this will take and is sure she will have enough time to call Ricky before he leaves.
“Sounds great! I’m looking forward to seeing the operations of DMC.”
“Shall we, “he says as he slides his chair back.
Jessica quickly steals a glance at her watch. It’s 11:15 AM. Ricky gets off at 2:30, or so. Plenty of time, she assures herself. As she stands up, she does not notice how thick and dark the clouds have become as they bubble over the peaks and slide down the eastern slope. She follows, Bob, ‘please call me Bob,’ out of the office and up the stairs.
© kat katsos
My concoction: Bean There (m)
Bean There
I know what she’s going to order before she even pulls open the door. Her hair has been styled earlier this morning, and she wears unwrinkled, low-rise flared pants, a cropped jean jacket, and shoes and sunglasses that cost more than my last three vacations. Makeup on every available feature - this woman spends a crazy amount of time getting ready in the morning.
I sit on the patio of the coffee shop every Saturday morning with an extra-large medium roast coffee, the paper, and my notebook. Every week the characters appear, weaving in and out of the soap opera of the neighbourhood. Some people appear right on schedule. Others come late or early, or not at all for several weeks. Just long enough for me to worry about them.
Luke, for example, is forty-five minutes late.
A cough reverberates between the brick buildings. The source, a hunched over, liquor-stench heap of soiled clothes, sits in his usual spot between the boutique for wealthy paper-thin Asian women and the laser hair removal place. He squats over his greasy cardboard and holds up a revised sign. This time he used dark crayons and he spelled the words correctly.
Not on welfare. HIV+. Please help. Bless you.
I clasp my steaming coffee and settle in to watch.
She struts in self-absorption, examining her sculpted nails, and looking for some flaw to agonize over. He sees her from a block and a half away; he’s ready.
Her cell rings. She paws through her shoulder sack to rescue the device while walking.
“What?â€
Her brow frowns, her lips join in.
“I can’t make it at 4. I already told him.â€
She waves her right arm like she was striking the person on the other end of the phone.
“No. That won’t work.â€
She lights up a menthol cigarette while juggling the phone and her shoulder bag. An exaggerated sigh pulls her shoulders down.
“I can’t. Tim was supposed to deliver those contracts…â€
Stretch and Stinky race around the corner and nearly knock over the water bucket. They’ve been running along the waterfront and now it’s time for refreshments. Stinky slurps up the drowned gnats floating on the surface of the water, spraying water across the sidewalk. His sides heave as he replenishes fluids. Stretch, meanwhile ducks his head as he heads inside to grab a decaf latte.
Sated for now, Stinky sniffs around the base of my table, looking for signs of cat and checking his pee-mail.
My well-dressed woman closes the distance between her and the man across the street. His eyes haven’t left her; he smells cash. I don’t know where he gets this optimism from – she hasn’t given him any money for five weeks. Not since her tenant moved out. She hasn’t been able to rent her place for two months now.
The things you learn while eavesdropping.
Latte in hand, Stretch folds himself into a metal chair on the patio watching Stinky double-check for cat. “Morning.â€
“Good morning.†I croak the seventh and eighth words of my day and wish my sweatpants were a little more fitted. Not that I consider Stretch manly, but his forehead glistens while his sweat dries.
He blows on the foam at the top of the paper cup. “Seen Luke?â€
I shake my head. Luke always appears by now, on his regular patrol, his neighbourhood watch. We nicknamed him Lucky Luke because he managed to survive an apartment building fire by burrowing out of the rubble, scorched but hardy, nine days after he’d been abandoned for dead. His picture was in the paper. Now he lives in the alley behind the liquor store.
“Spare some change, miss?†A polite but insistent plea meets my cell phone-toting glamour girl. She curls up her lip and throws him a grimace.
“Never! Get a job! Take a shower! You people make me sick!â€
Her tirade will go on for at least ten minutes. She’ll rant so long he’ll get up, stuff his sign into the beat up wagon, and relocate to the bank up the street. She’ll follow him. She’ll forget all about her coffee.
That’s what I dream would happen. In reality she grimaces at him and prances into the coffee shop for a double espresso and a slice of banana bread.
Something soft brushes against my hairy ankle, mewling.
“Luke! Where have you been, my little whiskers?â€
Luke weaves between my legs and the legs of my chair; he eyes the dog, he detests the dog.
Stinky’s muscles go rigid; his ears stand up, his tail stills. Luke advances. Stinky looks worried, or at least manages to look a little less stupid. The cat marches right up to the Rottweiler and smacks his nose. The body language says it all:
Stop sniffing me out.
We burst out laughing, Stretch and I. Stinky yelps as if surprised and retreats to the dank corner behind the Biota tree while Luke dashes across the street to claim his usual treat: soggy salmon sandwiches kept safe in the jacket pocket of the man with the crayoned sign.
It’s another Saturday morning on Plum Street. I sip my coffee and open my notebook. If I’m not mistaken, Stretch is checking me out.
My SS
Sally opened her briefcase and noticed the note. It was written with a red crayon and read: Meet me at 4:00, 216 Rattlesnake Rd. and was signed by Carol.
Sally smiled and thought I wonder what Carol is up to. But she had to push the thought away for she had a full day of appointments.
The day hours flew away with activity until she finished her last appointment at three-thirty. Sally packed up her files and left the air-conditioned building to her hot, faded red Jetta. Opening the car door, which squeaked in protest, she dropped her briefcase onto the white seat. She turned the key and the engine sputtered, coughed and died.
“You piece of shit! Start dammit!” she yelled and pounded on the steering wheel. Once again the engine coughed then it chugged. As she put the gear into drive she glanced at her watch and thought I need to hurry.
The tires squealed as she pulled out of the parking lot. Turning right onto Broadway she sped until she hit a red light. As she waited for the light to change she recalled the last prank she had pulled on Carol.
She recalled how she had fixed Carol up with a blind date. Conrad resembled a fluffy middle teddy bear. He had stared at Carol’s chest and drooled the whole two hours of their date.
Sally chuckled because she was forever telling her roommate that she needed to wear a bra. But Carol always brushed her off and went braless even to church sometimes.
The light turned green and she advanced the car. She sped through a yellow light, turned onto Rock Rd and was stopped by another red light.
Sally laughed as she thought about how Carol ended up paying for the dinner just so she could escape the dull, drooling Conrad. As far as she was concerned she was way ahead in the pranks department. In fact she looked forward to whatever Carol had planned for her.
She drove to the address and parked along the curb. Carol’s Mustang and two other vehicles were parked around the light blue house. She left the car and followed the sidewalk to the front door. A well-dressed woman opened the door and said, “I’m Madeline, It’s about time you got here. Come with me!”
Sally followed her into one of the bedrooms. “Here put this on. You have two minutes,” she said handing her a string bikini.
Sally pulled off her shirt and bra when she heard, “Luke, Luke, come here!” Sally covered herself hoping this Luke didn’t see her. A longhaired feline jumped down and startled Sally. “ Ahhh!”
Madeline appeared, “Luke, come here you bad boy,” she said then Carol yelled, “Hurry up Sally!”
The thong bottom was a bright orange and the top was barely two pieces of cloth. She blushed when she looked into the mirror. Madeline ordered, “You’re a little pale, but I guess you will do, follow me.”
Sally walked behind the big reared woman to the sliding glass doors. As soon as she walked out the doors a camera held by Madeline flashed then she saw the hot tub. Carol and two attractive looking guys were staring at her. She thought paybacks are hell then she laughed.
Delicious, Kat...
I like the dream with granddad and the rock. That could be another story. We really feel Jessica's anxiety about the interview and about the impending storm. I'm looking forward to reading part two - does Jessica warn Ricky? Does she get the job?
Fat Luke in the sunbeam on the table, sounds like someone else I know :-)
One thing to look at is the POV - it feels a bit jarring when we switch from 3rd person ("She pours herself a cup of coffee...") to first person ("Better run, I don't want to be late.").
Hope you're enjoying your weekend, Eyewrite
Ohmigosh, that Carol...
thought up one nasty prank. Thong bottoms and a camera, oh no! I laughed at the part where Carol goes braless even to church and I liked the door of the faded Jetta squeaking in protest.
When the story incorporates Sally's thoughts into the otherwise third person story, it feels a bit strange. "Sally smiled and thought I wonder what Carol is up to." and then at the end "She thought paybacks are hell then she laughed." However, I really have no idea how to incorporate a characters thoughts into the story unless it's all in first person.
As always, I like the names of your streets - Rattlesnake Rd this time. Very creative.
Hope you're enjoying your weekend, Maria.
Eyewrite
OHHHH, good catch!
That dang P-O-V, kinda like the S-O-B, or wait, is that the A-D-D, or maybe the R-A-G-G-M-O-P-P...(cartoon The Chipmucks singing RAGMOP.)
OK, enough silliness. Thanks eyewrite for the read, AND catch, and you are right on. I will fix it.
SOOO good to hear from you. Hope all is well in your neck of the woods. Spring yet?
Hugs, kat
If this is one of your stomping grounds,
I'd love meet you for a French Roast, please. Good job with this exercise eyewrite...great to be reading your work again.
kat
We should all have friends like Carol...
NOT!! I'd KILL my best friend if she even handed me a "STINGER." My ample bottom HATES those flossers, but that's another story.
I, too, found the internal dialogue somewhat difficult, but love the whole car scene. "It was me getting in that faded Jetta."
Fun read, Maria. kat
MY SS Story
I hope you enjoy this as much as it flowed from me. I am leaving thursday now so I thought I would write this and post it. Thanks for the email Mac. My life is never normal as I have been finding out.
Here it is enjoy!
A Story of ???
She had just gotten her formal dress for the big charity event. The ice blue dress was a bit old fashioned but on her it was perfect. The southern bell style that needed a crinoline under it, had fit her like a second skin. Now it was very hard not to be jealous of her, as she twirled around the room. The dress shimmered like there where thousands of crystals catching the light. I was taken back in time to watching my sister getting ready for her prom. My sister’s dress was made with lots of love. It was a true Cinderella dress. I remember the color well, a pale lavender. I am drawn from my thoughts as a pillow strikes my head.
“Yo silly, your not listening to me, are you?”
“Sorry Ally, I was just thinking.”
“About?” She stood there waiting for an answer, looking better then Cinderella ever did.
“To be honest I was thinking of my sister’s prom night.”
Luke stood up and stretched then waddled over to me. I scratched her head as she laid her paws on my leg. There we sat on the bed, the house cat and I, watching her get ready.
“So what time is Jordan picking you up?”
Ally giggled, “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“Jordan is so different.” She waved her hands in the air like there was no care in the world. “When I am with him I feel like I am sailing away into a beautiful sunset.”
I let out a stifled laugh, “Sooo… What is the toad picking you up in?”
“Cut it out! I called him a toad once will you drop it already?” She gave me a mock look of disgust then happy stated, “He is picking me up in a carriage.”
The doorbell rang in the distance, causing Luke to tear off the bed and race around the house. I made my way to the door. As I opened it a man turned around.
“Ms Ally, your carriage awaits… Opps is Ally ready?” Jordan asked nervously.
“She will be here in a minute, please come in.”
I could not help to notice the silver carriage and the harnesses that were attached to the shining black horse, were decked out with yellow roses. The toad must be besotted with her, yellow roses were her favorite.
Ally appeared from the hall, making a grand entrance.
“Your carriage awaits, Ms Ally. But before we go I must say that you look magnificent.”
“Thank you Sir,” Ally said as she gave him her best smile.
They headed to the door as Ally looked over her shoulder and winked at me, “don’t wait up.”
“Go on now you have kept him waiting long enough.” I shut the door behind them with a sigh. There will be no sleep tonight after the chatter box get home. Well since I was not going to the charity for the hospital at least I could do something, I thought as I rummaged through a box. Having found what I was looking for. I grab my keys and leave the house.
I walk up to the hospital doors carrying the bag I brought from home. Once inside I head to the ped’s ward. I talk to the nurses and they tell me the info I need. I walk into the that contains big scary machines and a bed. In the bed was Sarah. The nurses had told me that she was having a very bad day, not knowing what was happing to her. I sat on the bed and talked to her. Her little voice was enough to bring tears to one’s eyes. I had asked her if she would like to help me with a special project. She nodded as I dug in the bag for an art tablet and so crayons. We made a story together and I told her I was making a big book of stories for all kids that come here, so they won’t be afraid. Sarah drew pictures of rainbows and flowers. I had been with her over two hours when the nurse came in with her medication. I packed up the art stuff and was stepping out the door.
“Nice lady, could you leave me a crayon and some paper please.”
I turned and seen the desperation in her eyes. “Of course I would be happy to.” I took out an old art tablet that has only a handful of sheets in it and a box of crayons. “There you go if you use up all the paper as the nurse for some ok Hun.”
I turned and left. I got out to my car and cried all the way home. A couple hours later Ally came home. She was talking about this and that going a mile a minute. I finally get to bed for the well needed sleep.
The next morning, I was up and about when the doorbell rang. I was shocked to see a strange lady standing there with a bunch of flowers.
“May I help you?”
“Yes… Are you the one who was with my daughter Sarah last night?”
“Yes, I was.”
“Then these are from us to you. Sarah had said that you talked about flowers and your favorite being a star something and hers is a rose. So I got Stargazer lilies. Oh and yes Sarah wanted to give this to you.”
She handed me a folded piece of paper. I opened it up and seen a crayon drawing with some words. I love you and thank you was scribbled in a child’s writing, along with a not for her mom. It read: Thank you for taking the time for my daughter you are a true angel and what you did for her I could never repay you. God bless you. Sarah’s Mommy
Tears rolled down both of our faces as I hugged Sarah’s Mommy.
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
Whisper, yell or (m)
Write, please tell me what happens next! I'm ready for part two.
Good read....Maria
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