May exercise....Happy Widows
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| Fri, 05-17-2002 - 12:32pm |
May exercise....Happy Widows
Two weeks of keeping up the facade had taken its toll. Thank the Lord, it was behind them Ellie thought as she positioned herself in the small airplane seat. Mille sat next to her dozing. The poor dear was exhausted too.
Ellie’s husband, Jeb had passed away then a week later Millie’s husband, Chet had died. Pushing the sad moments behind Ellie focused on their destination, a vacation in Jamaica. She had never been on a vacation during her married life because Jeb believed watching television was a get away. Chet also didn’t believe in time off because someone would steal them blind. Like his possessions couldn’t be replaced. Ellie’s face beamed with joy. Millie and she were happy widows and had lots of time to make up.
Ellie opened the brochure and read about parasailing, snorkel and scuba diving. There was cave viewing and cliff diving. She wondered if she had enough guts to try that at her age of 56. Ellie still was in good shape. She walked at least four miles a day, didn’t have a pacemaker and she was way past becoming pregnant. She had that part yanked out years ago. Ellie vowed that if the young people could do it so could she.
Millie stirred, “What are you reading?”
“I’m reading about parasailing,” she answered then handed over the brochure.
“You really want to try this? It looks dangerous!”
“That’s why I want to try it,” Ellie said remembering that they were identical twins but when it came to personalities they were like day and night.
“No way, I’m trying that but I’ll be here to identify your body. I’m in your will, right?” Millie said then laughed.
The plane landed so they departed the bustling airport after picking up their luggage and renting a yellow jeep. Millie drove along the narrow, pot hole riddled road to the resort. Ellie said, “Gee Mil, remember to drive on the other side.”
“I’m driving in the middle; no way I’m driving over the cliff.”
They checked into the Mountaintop Resort admiring the location and the grand building. After locating their room they freshened up and decided to eat in the restaurant.
As they were seated by the hostess Ellie spied a tall, white haired man. He was seated at the back table. That quick glance caused her neck hairs to tingle and she said, “Mil, I just got a tingle. I think we’re being followed.”
“El, we’re in Jamaica. Who would be following us?”
Ellie scanned past Millie’s red lipstick lips to her deep green eyes and said, “Do you think he’s an undercover detective and has found out that we poisoned our husbands?”
Millie’s forehead wrinkled, “Relax El, don’t go borrowing trouble. Come on; let’s enjoy ourselves.”
Ellie downed three powerful rum drinks neutralized somewhat by the large plate of shrimp and fish she ingested. They laughed and listened to the island music and relaxed.
The next day Ellie parasailed while Millie stayed on shore and watched and read a thick book. El said, “Come on Mil, give it a try. All you do is read books maybe you should write one of your own.”
“Maybe I already have,” she said then winked.
As Ellie toweled off her body she felt like someone was watching her. She turned quickly and stared at a man standing alone on the beach. She froze and held her breath until the man turned around. Expelling her breath she relaxed when she observed it wasn’t the white haired man.
The days and nights were filled with fun and relaxing activities. “I can’t believe that this is our last day here, El.”
“Me neither but my heart is still racing from that cliff dive yesterday.”
Millie chuckled, “I swear I could see your chicken legs shaking and then you stuck out your arms like wings and dove feet first. Your body in a black suit dropped so gracefully into the clear, turquoise water. It was awesome!”
“You bet I wanted wings. I was calling my guardian angel to slow down my speed and to keep me away from sharp rocks.”
“Where to next?”
“The cave, we talked about it last night.”
They strolled through the cave and when they exited Ellie felt another tingle. She turned quickly and caught a glimpse of the white haired man. “Mil, I felt that tingle again. We’re being followed.”
Millie rubbed her temples, “Now don’t overreact but you need to know that before we left. I read, that the doctor who sold us the poison was arrested for killing her husband.”
Ellie looked like she had been sucker punched. “What are we going to do?”
“I’m hungry let’s have lunch,” Millie said while Ellie’s eyes grew large.
“Calm down, El. We will have lunch and plan what to do.”
Millie wheeled the jeep to a small restaurant. They parked and then strolling to the counter she ordered two patties, which are comparable to a bierock and two cups of Blue Mountain coffee.
Ellie was beginning to feel better until she turned to her right and noticed the white haired man sitting at a back table.
“Mil, he’s sitting back there,” she whispered.
“El, we need to find out why he’s following us. So you go over and flirt and ask him to come to your room.”
Ellie’s eyes grew as big as a saucer and asked, “Are you crazy? I haven’t flirted with anyone for twenty years.”
Millie grinned, “You’re the pretty one. I’m the ugly sister.”
Ellie raised her eyebrows, “I’m glad you haven’t lost your sense of humor. What are we going to do with him if he is after us?”
“Kill him”
A lump of fear traveled through her body, “Mil, you’re plain demented. Get serious!”
“I am.”
Ellie ran a hand over her brown hair the humid air had left it limp but her skin was soft and moist. She straightened her flowery, blue top before she stood and casually walked towards the white haired man.
She approached his table and flashing him a smile she said, “Are you following me? Oophs, I mean, we seem to be at the same places. My name is Ellie and you are?”
He extended his large hand, “I’m Aaron, please sit down.”
Ellie sat down on the wood chair and small talk poured out of her mouth. She calmed her nervousness and took the plunge. “Would you come to my room this evening at seven?” she inquired batting her eyelashes.
He grinned, “Sure”
Shortly after returning to their table they left the restaurant and headed to the resort. They entered Ellie’s room where after adjusting the air conditioner and kicking off her shoes onto the tile floor she said, “He claims to be a tourist. This trip is a present from his daughter.”
“I watch Diagnosis Murder. He has an agenda.”
“Are you saying, you think he really is after us?”
Millie paced and rubbed her chin. “I bet that he is a detective making sure we return to the states.”
“There isn’t any proof that we poisoned our husbands, unless...”
“We need to plan his demise. I think he should take an overdose of Viagra.”
Ellie grinned, “Where would we get Viagra? I say we drug him then smother him.
They volleyed ideas back and forth like a tennis match.
At a quarter of seven Ellie heard the knock. She pulled down her electric blue, short dress then opened the door.
“Hi Aaron, please come in.”
His eyes traveled over her outfit, smiling he said, “You look beautiful.”
“Thanks, would you like a drink? We could have rum and coke.”
“Sure,” he said sitting down on the wood chair.
Ellie handed the glass to him before turning her back and pulling over the other wood chair then she sat down. They sipped their drinks and talked about everything from their childhoods to politics. An hour had past and Ellie yawned. She stood up and ended up crashing onto the bed.
Millie strained her ear to listen for activity next door. Ten minutes had past and no noise emanated so she was concerned. Moments later she heard the sound of a door opening and closing. She darted through the connecting door and saw that Ellie had passed out on the bed. Millie thought he must of have switched the drinks and Ellie had drunk the drink spiked with a sleeping pill.
She hurried to follow Aaron. Jumping into the jeep, and then starting it Millie chased his blue jeep. He sped up so she sped up to catch him. He took two narrow curves at an alarming speed then he stopped his jeep on the next curve and abandoned his vehicle, darting away on foot.
“Damn!” Millie hesitated a mere minute before she continued driving up the mountain looking over at the bag filled with needed items. If the idiot wanted to walk, it didn’t bother her. She had done her homework; she knew where he was lodging.
Millie parked the jeep and waited in the shadows. The smell of marijuana tickled her nose. Inhaling the second hand smoke seemed to be calming her nerves.
Thirty minutes later she caught a glimpse of Aaron. His clothes were filthy and he appeared to be worn out as he strolled to his room. Millie followed and broke into his room from the balcony carrying the bag with her. She heard the shower running. A wicked gleam radiated from her as she was pulling out and plugging in the device. Millie grabbed the radio and tossed it into the shower.
The next morning Ellie hung her raging head against the headrest on the airplane seat.
“How many pills did you put in that drink? I can barely move my body.”
Millie looked up from her reading her book and said, “Well dear sister, if our husbands insurance checks aren’t in the mail. Both of us will be relocating. Do you speak Spanish?”


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Maria, here's some nitpicky critique for you (m)
Hi Countrygal,
You mentioned on chat that you wanted more nitpicky critique, so I've had a go at this. Don't take any of it personally, and remember that this is just my opinion. First thing, and this is all the way thru, watch your punctuation. You're missing a lot of commas and some other punctuation. I indicated a few in the beginning, but check all the way thru. My first comment is on your title, and I'm so bad at titles I'm embarrassed to criticize someone who can actually come up with one … why "Happy Widows"? Why not "Merry Widows"? I think it's a great story idea. I love stories about women of a certain age who are up to no good.
I wasn't sure about the ending which suggested that Millie masterminded the whole scheme, including poisoning the two husbands, and Ellie was innocent? I thought they were working together. Don't give away the husband-poisoning until the end, or at least well into the story and give us more of a build up so that we believe they have good reason to be suspicious of the white-haired (I think it should be hyphenated) man. Another thought I had was that since they're in Jamaica, why not use the setting to kill him-force his truck off the road, put a scorpion in his underpants, cut him up into pieces and put him in a steel drum …. you know.
My comments in .
Two weeks of keeping up the facade had taken its toll. Thank the Lord, it was behind them Ellie thought as she positioned herself in the small airplane seat. Mille sat next to her dozing. The poor dear was exhausted too.
Ellie's husband, Jeb had passed away then a week later Millie's husband, Chet had died. Pushing the sad moments behind Ellie focused on their destination, a vacation in Jamaica. She had never been on a vacation during her married life because Jeb believed watching television was a get away . Chet also didn't believe in time off because someone would steal them blind. Like his possessions couldn't be replaced.
Ellie's face beamed with joy. Millie and she were happy widows and had lots of time to make up.
Ellie opened the brochure and read about parasailing, snorkel and scuba diving. There was cave viewing and cliff diving. She wondered if she had enough guts to try that at her age of 56. Ellie still was in good shape. She walked at least four miles a day, didn't have a pacemaker and she was way past becoming pregnant. She had that part yanked out years ago. Ellie vowed that if the young people could do it so could she.
"That's why I want to try it," Ellie said remembering that they were identical twins but when it came to personalities they were like day and night.
"No way, I'm trying that but I'll be here to identify your body. I'm in your will, right?" Millie said then laughed. .
The plane landed so they departed the bustling airport after picking up their luggage and renting a yellow jeep. Millie drove along the narrow, pot hole riddled road to the resort. Ellie said, "Gee Mil, remember to drive on the other side."
"I'm driving in the middle; no way I'm driving over the cliff."
They checked into the Mountaintop Resort admiring the location and the grand building. After locating their room they freshened up and decided to eat in the restaurant.
As they were seated by the hostess Ellie spied a tall, white haired man seated at the back table. That quick glance caused her neck hairs to tingle and she said, "Mil, I just got a tingle. I think we're being followed."
"El, we're in Jamaica. Who would be following us?"
Ellie said, "Do you think he's an undercover detective and has found out that we poisoned our husbands?"
Millie's forehead wrinkled, "Relax El, don't go borrowing trouble. Come on; let's enjoy ourselves."
Ellie downed three powerful rum drinks neutralized somewhat by the large plate of shrimp and fish she ingested They laughed listened to the island music and relaxed.
The next day Ellie parasailed while Millie stayed on shore and watched and read a thick book. El said, "Come on Mil, give it a try. All you do is read books maybe you should write one of your own."
"Maybe I already have," she said then winked.
As Ellie toweled off her body she felt like someone was watching her. She turned quickly and stared at a man standing alone on the beach. She froze and held her breath until the man turned around. Expelling her breath she relaxed when she observed it wasn't the white haired man.
The days and nights were filled with fun and relaxing activities. "I can't believe that this is our last day here, El."
"Me neither but my heart is still racing from that cliff dive yesterday."
Millie chuckled, "I swear I could see your chicken legs shaking and then you stuck out your arms like wings and dove feet first. Your body in a black suit dropped so gracefully into the clear, turquoise water. It was awesome!"
"You bet I wanted wings. I was calling my guardian angel to slow down my speed and to keep me away from sharp rocks."
"Where to next?"
"The cave, we talked about it last night."
They strolled through the cave and when they exited Ellie felt another tingle. She turned quickly and caught a glimpse of the white haired man. "Mil, I felt that tingle again. We're being followed."
Millie rubbed her temples, "Now don't overreact but you need to know that before we left I read, that the doctor who sold us the poison was arrested for killing her husband."
Ellie looked like she had been sucker punched. "What are we going to do?"
"I'm hungry let's have lunch," Millie said while Ellie's eyes grew large.
"Calm down, El. We will have lunch and plan what to do."
Millie wheeled the jeep to a small restaurant. They parked and then strolling to the counter she ordered two patties and two cups of Blue Mountain coffee.
Ellie was beginning to feel better until she turned to her right and noticed the white haired man sitting at a back table.
"Mil, he's sitting back there," she whispered.
"El, we need to find out why he's following us. So you go over and flirt and ask him to come to your room."
Ellie's eyes grew as big as a saucer and asked, "Are you crazy? I haven't flirted with anyone for twenty years."
Millie grinned, "You're the pretty one. I'm the ugly sister."
Ellie raised her eyebrows, "I'm glad you haven't lost your sense of humor. What are we going to do with him if he is after us?"
"Kill him"
"Mil, you're plain demented. Get serious!"
Ellie ran a hand over her brown hair the humid air had left it limp but her skin was soft and moist. She straightened her flowery, blue top before she stood and casually walked towards the white haired man.
She approached his table and flashing him a smile she said, "Are you following me? Oophs, I mean, we seem to be at the same places. My name is Ellie and you are?"
He extended his large hand, "I'm Aaron, please sit down."
Ellie sat down on the wood chair and small talk poured out of her mouth. She calmed her nervousness and took the plunge. "Would you come to my room this evening at seven?" she inquired batting her eyelashes.
He grinned, "Sure"
Shortly after returning to their table they left the restaurant and headed to the resort. They entered Ellie's room where after adjusting the air conditioner and kicking off her shoes onto the tile floor she said, "He claims to be a tourist. This trip is a present from his daughter."
"I watch Diagnosis Murder. He has an agenda."
"Are you saying, you think he really is after us?"
Millie paced and rubbed her chin. "I bet that he is a detective making sure we return to the states."
"There isn't any proof unless..."
Ellie grinned, "Where would we get Viagra? I say we drug him then smother him.
They volleyed ideas back and forth like a tennis match.
At a quarter of seven Ellie heard the knock. She pulled down her electric blue, short dress then opened the door.
"Hi Aaron, please come in."
His eyes traveled over her outfit, smiling he said, "You look beautiful."
"Thanks, would you like a drink? We could have rum and coke."
"Sure," he said sitting down on the wood chair.
Ellie handed the glass to him before turning her back and pulling over the other wood chair then she sat down. They sipped their drinks and talked about everything from their childhoods to politics. and Ellie yawned. She stood up and ended up crashing onto the bed.
Millie strained her ear to listen for activity next door. Ten minutes hadpast and no noise so she was concerned. Moments later she heard the sound of a door opening and closing. She darted through the connecting door and saw that Ellie had passed out on the bed. Millie thought he must have switched the drinks and Ellie had drunk the drink spiked with a sleeping pill.
She hurried to follow Aaron. Jumping into the jeep, and then starting it Millie chased his blue jeep. He sped up so she sped up to catch him. He took two narrow curves at an alarming speed then he stopped his jeep on the next curve and abandoned his vehicle, darting away on foot.
"Damn!" Millie hesitated a mere minute before she continued driving up the mountain looking over at the bag filled with needed items. If the idiot wanted to walk, it didn't bother her. She had done her homework; she knew where he was lodging.
Millie parked the jeep and waited in the shadows. The smell of marijuana tickled her nose. Inhaling the second hand smoke seemed to be calming her nerves.
Thirty minutes later she caught a glimpse of Aaron. His clothes were filthy and he appeared to be worn out as he strolled to his room. Millie followed and broke into his room from the balcony carrying the bag with her. She heard the shower running. A wicked gleam radiated from her
The next morning Ellie hung her raging head against the headrest on the airplane seat.
"How many pills did you put in that drink? I can barely move ."
Millie looked up from her book and said, "Well dear sister, if our husbands insurance checks aren't in the mail. Both of us will be relocating. Do you speak Spanish?"
I love it Maria. These gal's Mille and Ellie sound like a hoot. (m)
I think you did a wonderful job.
Thanks E (m)
For taking the time to critique. Your pointing out what works and what needs improvement is helpful. It's amazing what another set of eyes can see, cause of course when I write it, it makes perfect sense! LOL
maria
Thanks Thia, I'm glad you enjoyed it and thought it was funny! that was my goal.
Oh Maria!!!
What a wonderful little story. I really enjoyed it. I wonder what happened to Arron? Are you going to continue with this one?
Keep up the good work.
Jade
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
Thanks Jade {m}
Sad news, Aaron was electr...cuted! Hey at least his last days were on a nice vacation lOL As for Millie and Ellie, they have been placed in the cardboard box for now. And one never knows when they may reappear! lol
Maria
lol you are a barrel of laughs hun.... Don't Change!!!!! Hugs J.
Have a mystical day,
Jade
Please Pray and Support O
HEY, Maria!...m
What a fun story! Your creativity with your writing has me in awe, woman. Will you have more on the twin sisters, like a series on them?
As far as critiquing this, I can't add anything to what El already said. Other than "Keep writing, Kansas lady!" I enjoyed this story, what a hoot. Sammi
My kind of ladies-LOL (m)
I like the idea that they kill off the hubbies and the happy widows head to Jamaica. Your story reminded (although the only similarity is two sisters killing off men) of one of my favorite old movies, Arsenic & Old Lace. I also thought it was very authentic that they'’ be identical twins yet like “day and night” as you put it.
I agree with E about waiting closer to the end before you reveal they poisoned their husbands and maybe you could include some details about what poisons they used -- the same for both men or different ones to throw off any suspicions.
I thought it was clever of you to have Millie toss the radio in the shower. That might be something that could happen on vacation when you’re not familiar with everything like you might be at home. Oops! I shouldn’t have put that radio there-LOL.
Thanks for enjoyable read, Maria.
Mac
Thanks Sammi {m}
for reading and your kind words of encouragement!
Maria
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